Values for Tweens

Since Mallory and Vannah have started school, I have noticed that they’ve picked up bad habits from other kids.  We don’t say “hate” in this house.  It’s an exceptionally strong word and I don’t believe for a second that either could comprehend the seriousness of its use.  Mallory came home a few days ago and mentioned that she “hated” one of her classmates and wasn’t her friend anymore.

So starts the battle against peer pressure.  Savannah came home a few days after the first incident and asked me for a Bratz doll.  I despise those dolls; I have a fundamental problem with buying my kids a doll that looks like she’s getting ready to head out to a bar or club. I don’t dress like that; I don’t expect my children to dress like that while they’re under my roof either.  I don’t want them to think it’s cool to dress like that.

So now I’m left wondering how I can impress our values upon the girls.  First and foremost, I think an age appropriate explanation is required. I explained to Mallory that hate is a nasty and mean word and she should not use it.  I told her that dislike would be more appropriate.  I also talked to Vannah about dignity and class.  Barbie looked elegant and classy in her evening gown.  The same was not true for the Bratz doll.

I honestly believe that our kids live in a much different world where rude seems to be the new social norm, where parents try to be friends, and where nobody’s truly accountable for their actions anymore.  I want my children to be compassionate, polite, respectful, and have dignity.  I want them to be enthusiastic and have focus in their lives.  I want them to respect themselves. It seems like it’s becoming an uphill battle because they’re being hit from all sides.  Peer pressure, the media, toy makers, and the people that are looked up to in our society seem to be sending the wrong message.  I’m not quite sure how to win this one, but I’ll do my best and in doing so, I hope to set my children on the right path and instill values that will last a lifetime.

How are you doing with establishing values for your kids?