All month we’ve been discussing the issues surrounding a blended family. Complex issues, such as divorce, can also trigger other deeper emotional issues. In times such as that, parents and children might find it helpful to talk to a therapist.

We all need someone to talk with now and then. At times, friends and family will do. But, if you’re struggling with strong emotions, a troubled relationship, depression, or other mental health issues, a sympathetic ear may not be enough. You may need to try psychotherapy, or “talk therapy” with a mental health professional.

Talk therapy helps people gain insight into and resolve their problems through discussions with the therapist. This is sometimes combined with “homework” assignments between sessions.

What therapists do

Depending on your goals and the therapist’s approach, he or she may ask about your childhood, your relationships, or your thoughts and feelings. Early on, you’ll do most of the talking. These conversations help your therapist help you:

• Define what you hope to accomplish, such as overcoming a phobia or coping with a loss, and make a plan for doing it
• Learn more about your situation and how to deal with it
• Identify triggers that cause symptoms such as anxiety
• Kick unhealthy coping habits, such as alcohol or drug use
• Deal better with crises

Visit OHealthy to learn more about “The Word on Talk Therapy.”

Have you been helped by talking to a therapist? Share your story below.

Photo from Flicker user Material Boy

The Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays are often when most Americans have their biggest meals. And with those big meals come big grocery lists and big grocery bills. Money doesn’t flow freely any time of year, but it’s especially tight between November and December.

One way AM and I have found to save some money on groceries is by using a program called “Angel Food Ministries.” Angel Food Ministries is an organization that works with food distributors to make very inexpensive “bundles” of food items available through local churches. There are several packages available each month that offer a variety of foods.

The “basic” box often includes a mix of vegetables, meats and other staples for $30. Using December ’09′s menu as example, you’d get:

• 2 lb. New York Strip Steaks (4 x 8 oz.)
• 1.5 lb. Boneless Pork Roast
• 1 lb. Chicken Breast Fajita Strips
• 1 lb. Lean Ground Beef
• 1.5 lb. All White Meat Chicken Tenders
• 1 lb. Bake or Fry Fish Sticks (32 count)
• 1 lb. Hickory Smoked Center Cut Ham
• 1 lb. Frozen Baby Lima Beans
• 1 lb. Frozen Green Beans
• 2 lb. French Fries
• 2 lb. bag Fresh Apples
• 10 ct. Flour Tortillas
• 32 oz. 2% Shelf Stable Milk
• Dozen Eggs
• Dessert

I’m sure you’ll agree that for $30, that’s quite the value.

Angel Food Ministries also offers meat-only, fruit and vegetable and allergen-free boxes to fill a wide-variety of your needs.

AM and I have frequently ordered boxes from Angel Food Ministries. We ordered the Thanksgiving meal box last year and got two big meals from it (each box comes with a frozen chicken and a sliced ham). We got the same box this year and hope to do it again.

What tips and tricks do you have for saving money on holiday meals? Ask questions, make suggestions  or share your ideas in the comments.

*Note: I am not affiliated with Angel Food Ministries or any church that provides access to the program. This post is only intended as information on the program. I have received, and will not receive, benefit from Angel Food Ministries or any participating church from the publishing of this post.*

Lately, Vannah, my habitually cheerful and easygoing girl has been having bad days.  I’m not just talking one or two here or there, but it seems like she’s saying every single day is a bad day.  It’s not like she’s being picked on in school; she’ll say she’s having a bad day if she doesn’t get exactly what she wants for breakfast or lunch. 

So now I’m left explaining the concept of attitude to her.  You know, the proverbial make lemonade when life hands you a lemon.  I think the first thing that I need to do is model the atittude that I want her to have.  I, too, have bad days, but I’m not going to show them or talk about them in front of her.  Parents must look at what the child’s been going through.  I think this may be a big part of it; Jon may be getting ready to deploy.  He’s also spent a lot of time in the field during the past few months.  This could possibly be an adjustment problem.

I think the biggest challenge is balancing optimism and realism.  I absolutely do want the girls to see the best in every situation, but I don’t want them to have that “just off the turnip truck” sense of optimism.  Life happens and some of it is bad, but it’s all in what you do with it. 

Elizabeth Scott, who has a M.S. in counseling and is currently working towards her PhD, suggests the following tips to develop optimism in kids: (http://stress.about.com/od/parentingskills/ht/raiseoptimists.htm)

1. Help them experience success
2. Give credit for success
3. Look for future success
4. Don’t praise indiscriminately
5. Validate, but question
6. Remember success in the face of failure
7. Look for “opportunities to improve”
8. Look for the bright side
9. Don’t use negative labels 
10.  Make an example of yourself

I plan on implementing some of these techniques with Vannah.  Hopefully it’s just a phase since she’s experiencing an appreciable amount of stress.  If not, there are tons of resources out there and I’ll begin utilizing them.  Has anyone else out there encountered this problem.  If so what did you do?  How did you deal with it?  I’d love to hear your comments, thoughts, and suggestions!

Photo from Flickr user Gainesvegas

A recent BBC article says it’s a little bit healthy for kids to be a little bit dirty.

For most of us, this is not anything new. My parents operated under the theory that “a little dirt never killed anyone” when I was growing up. It seems that now there’s some actual science to back them up.

There’s bacteria in dirt and that bacteria can help control overactive immune responses to small cuts.

In today’s world, all the technological distractions (video games, television, movies, music, the Internet – and probably more stuff I haven’t heard of yet!) keep kids inside more often. This leads to cleaner kids and, apparently, children with weakened immune systems.

It certainly seems logical, doesn’t it? Many parents keep their children in an-almost sterile environment. Schools line children up for hand sanitization before lunch or snack. The days of soap and water have been left behind for cleaner smelling and less messy alcohol solutions that destroy nearly all bacteria on the skin.

The U.K. group Parents Outloud says that this trend has caused an increase in various allergies and illnesses in children.

“Rates of allergy have tripled in the U.K. in the last decade. One in three people now has some kind of allergy.”

It’s important for children to be outside. Not just in the dirt, but in the air and the sunlight. That just might be the key to a healthier generation of kids. And who doesn’t like that idea?

How do you get your kids to play outside when they want to stay in? Share you questions, stories and ideas in the comment section.

With most blended families sharing children over the holiday season, sometimes separation anxiety can arise in children.

The prospect of new experiences away from their parents or other loved ones can be quite frightening for children. The complaint of an upset stomach, headache, or some other ailment the night before or the morning of the day of the event is probably the most classic sign of apprehension. These worries are a normal part of development for all children, and your child can be expected to exhibit similar symptoms to a certain degree.

Anxiety can occur whenever you anticipate some sort of separation from the parents or other loved ones – say, a sleepover at a friend’s house, or a parent’s business trip. Symptoms can range from mild uneasiness to full-blown panic attacks. Your child may express fears that something bad, such as an accident or kidnapping, will befall the parent or him or herself. In addition, clingy behavior, pleading, and tantrums are common just before the separation is about to occur. Other possible symptoms of separation anxiety are nightmares, the refusal to sleep alone, and the need for frequent reassurance that everything is OK.

Supportive, yet firm

The best way to deal with your child’s fears is to be supportive, yet firm in enforcing the separation. One thing you could say is “I think you’re feeling nervous.  Tell me what you’re worried about.” Of course, you may discover that the problems causing the anxiety are real.  These problems may range from relatively easy to very difficult to solve. You should address the problem as soon as you learn about it and work toward resolution.

Don’t give in to arguments or tantrums; your child will soon see how that fear is easily exaggerated. Most cases of school separation anxiety are resolved fairly quickly. Children who are more likely to be anxious may have other problems, both current and in later life. Sometimes separation anxiety is a reaction to a recent disruptive event such as the illness or death of a family member or friend, divorce or remarriage, or moving to a new city. Children whose families have histories of panic disorder, phobias, depression or alcoholism may also be more prone to separation anxiety. Parents should contact a pediatrician or child psychiatrist for further assistance if the behavior lasts more than a few days or if the symptoms seem excessive or severe.

To read our treasure trove of medical advice, visit OHealthy.

How are you keeping your child’s anxieties at bay this holiday season? Click on the box below.