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When a spouse deploys, it goes without saying that those left behind feel shorthanded.  There’s just as much work to be done and one less person to pitch in and help.  Everything falls on your shoulders.  For all of the previous deployments, the girls have been far too small to contribute and help out around the house.  This time is different; they’re finally old enough to help me make a dent in the seemingly endless abyss of housework. 

One of the first things I did was sit down and talk with them about pitching in and helping.  I told them that if we wanted to make this easier, we had to work together and help each other out.  The second thing I did was get a new chore board.  Each of the girls picked three different jobs that they were willing to do each day.  Mallory cleans the sink, picks up before bed, and empties the trash in the spare bathroom.  Vannah helps with the dishes, washes the table, and dusts. 

I also talked to the responsibilities that come with being older.  They’re not babies anymore and I expect them to help out by being a bit more responsible for things like cleaning up after themselves and helping mommy when she asks.  To their credit, both girls have been very receptive and are pitching in and helping with the house a lot more than they have been capable of in the past. 

Although there is more work to be done, I’m making it a point to keep our one night a week where we sit down and have fun together.  We’ve actually been doing that more frequently.  If we get all of our nightly chores done and have time left over, we have the opportunity to play a game (they’re favorite right now is “Don’t Wake Daddy.“)  It’s amazing how quickly everything has been getting done. 

How do you handle the additional household responsibilities when your spouse is gone?  Do you have any tricks for getting your kids to pitch in and help pick up a bit of the slack?  Please share because I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I learned that together time beats toys any day!

Hi TweenBeat moms and dads!

These are my top 10 personal lessons learned on the road of parenting. 

1.  Spending time with my children means more than what I bought at Toys-R-Us any day of the week.

2.  Tucking them in at night requires a brief show-and-tell and a 20-minute Q&A session – so clear your schedule.

3.  Children will tell your business at the Wal-Mart checkout – forcing you to pretend you forgot an item and leave a long line to retrieve anything.

4.  Children do not obey the rule – if the bathroom door is closed, do not come in – and barge in only to quickly inform you that you do look funny naked, and then leave.

5.  You will cry when you overhear your child praying and they don’t know you’re there.

6.  You will receive a call from the school that your son is harboring a family of lizards in his desk.

7.  Your children do worry when you are sick – mainly because dad’s in charge.

8.  Weeds and other strange plant-type items – are flowers.

9.  Your children will use their spy gear against you. Think twice about purchasing such items. And finally …

10.  If you decide to snoop in your teenager’s book bag to catch him doing something wrong, find a paper he wrote about heroes in his life, read it and discover he wrote about you – don’t be too ashamed. Carefully put everything back without a word – and relish the moment.

What personal lessons have you learned so far as you begin to raise your kids? Feel free to share below.

We’re exploring ideas on adding audio and video to TweenBeat(and all the MomTalk blogs). I’m curious about what you, dear readers, would like to see, and hear, from us.

What sort of videos would you like? I’m tossing around ideas for “how-tos” (like, exactly how do you put together that new children’s desk?), cooking ideas, park tours (being a member of the City of Jacksonville’s Recreation and Parks commission, that’d be a two-birds-one-stone video!), interviews with local activity providers (Council for the Arts, recreation center supervisors, etc) and me talking to the camera about this or that adventure with Mini. She’ll need to remain “off-camera” to protect her, but just about anything else is possible. What would you like to see?

What sort of audio posts would you enjoy? I think audio-tours of Jacksonville (and the surrounding areas) and its parks could be fun and interviews with Mini about her ideas on being a tween would certainly be funny and entertaining. But, again, what would you like to hear?

Help us to provide you the best source for parenting in Eastern NC. Share your ideas and suggestions in the comments.

As I mentioned in part one, my husband has finally deployed.  Since the girls are older this time, all of us are facing new, and sometimes difficult challenges when it comes to coping with the separation.  Mainly, it boils down to Jon not wanting to upset the girls when he calls. 

Jon knows that when he calls, the girls get upset.  It makes him feel absolutely horrible.  I can understand where he’s coming from on this one.  However, I know how a little kid’s mind works.  They don’t quite rationalize things the way he and I do.  I’d rather have them be upset because they miss him, than be upset because they think dad doesn’t want to talk to them (or something along those same lines.)  The bottom line is that I want him to stay as involved as he possibly can. 

I know this isn’t easy for him.  He has to get into a specific mind set and has a completely different life while he’s over there.  The heartache and homesickness doesn’t help either.  However, I think I’ve come up with a few ideas to keep both sides happy.  The girls and I have started sitting down and writing letters to him.  They tell me what they want to say and I write it, then they sign. 

I am also going to start sending some of their school worksheets with the letters.  That way he knows what they’re doing in school and can see how they are progressing.  They also have the opportunity to showcase the different things they’ve done.  I think it’s a pretty win-win situation. 

How do you keep your kids close to dad while he’s gone, without making it heart wrenching for dad or kids?  Please share because I’d love to hear your tips and wisdom!

This week as kids and parents enjoy the holiday week off, it seems like a good time to discuss how to make this family time both happy and healthy.

An estimated one in five American children is overweight, according to the National Institutes of Health. Serving them healthier meals and exercising as a family can improve their short- and long-term health.

“Parents can actively help their kids maintain a healthy weight by getting up, getting out and together making exercise fun,” says Colleen Greene, employee wellness program coordinator in Ann Arbor. “Doing so can make the whole family healthier.”

Being obese increases a child’s risk for several serious childhood medical problems, including diabetes, heart disease, sleep apnea, and psychological disorders. And, in addition to childhood health risks, studies have found overweight kids are at greater risk of becoming obese adults, with all the health problems associated with obesity lasting through the life span.

Excessive “screen time” has been identified as a direct cause of obesity in children because it replaces physical activity, increases eating, and reduces metabolism.

“Limiting the amount of TV children watch, the number of video games they play or the amount of computer time they have is an important step parents can take to get their kids moving,” says Greene.

Get ‘em up

Like adults, children should be physically active most, if not all, days of the week. Experts suggest at least 60 minutes of moderate physical activity daily for most children. Running, bicycling, jumping rope, dancing, and playing basketball or soccer are good ways for them to be active.

These strategies can help you help your kids get a move on:

• Don’t call it “exercise.” Instead, promote “playtime” and encourage activities that are fun and physical, such as hopscotch or jumping rope.
• Find out what your children like to do and make this a focus of your family activities. “Vary the activities, and let your children take turns choosing what the family will do,” says Greene.
• Participate in community fitness events, such as charity walks or fun-runs.
• Use family walks or bike rides as a time to do more than just exercise together. Talk about school and family issues when you’re taking a break.
• Relive your childhood by playing the games you loved as a kid. Play tag, Red Rover, hide-and-seek, or any other fast-moving game.
• Plan outings that involve physical activity, such as going to a skating rink, the zoo, or a miniature golf course.