Well, my husband finally deployed. Since August it’s been up and down; we’re going here, we’re going there, we’re not going anywhere (that sounds a little Dr. Seussish, lol). Finally though, he left. This time hasn’t been easy.
After two days, the girls started asking when dad was going to come home. On his behalf though, he tried to explain to them, in elementary school terms, that he wouldn’t be home until summer. So this is a first for me; last time he deployed, they had no clue, Gosh, how I miss those days!
The first thing we found helpful was to be honest with them (to an age-appropriate extent). We didn’t say anything about dad going to war, but just told them that he had to go to work for a really long time. I don’t think my kids are naive and I think we both owe it to them to be up front. This also made departure day a lot easier because we had been talking about it for quite awhile.
I also try and validate their feelings. Mal had mentioned that she missed dad and I made sure to tell her it was okay and that I missed him too. We cuddled a little bit and she was okay. The great thing about being married to a grunt is that they’re in and out for months before a deployment so it kind of gives the entire family a chance to get their feet wet. Honestly, it’s helped us all adjust.
The biggest challenge for me is dispelling fears. One of the girls told me that when Marines get shot, they die. I think I’m going to have to get some guidance with this one. I, of course, told her that dad would be fine, but honestly how does one deal with this? I think I’m going to have to utilize some of the base resources to get info on how to deal with this issue. I’ve been there and done that but I’m not hestitant to ask for help when I need it.
How do you handle deployments when it comes to your kids? How do you quell their fears and reassure them? Please share!
Tags: Adrienne Osborn, coping, deployment, fears, military, onslow memorial hospital, tweens
