As I mentioned in part one, my husband has finally deployed. Since the girls are older this time, all of us are facing new, and sometimes difficult challenges when it comes to coping with the separation. Mainly, it boils down to Jon not wanting to upset the girls when he calls.
Jon knows that when he calls, the girls get upset. It makes him feel absolutely horrible. I can understand where he’s coming from on this one. However, I know how a little kid’s mind works. They don’t quite rationalize things the way he and I do. I’d rather have them be upset because they miss him, than be upset because they think dad doesn’t want to talk to them (or something along those same lines.) The bottom line is that I want him to stay as involved as he possibly can.
I know this isn’t easy for him. He has to get into a specific mind set and has a completely different life while he’s over there. The heartache and homesickness doesn’t help either. However, I think I’ve come up with a few ideas to keep both sides happy. The girls and I have started sitting down and writing letters to him. They tell me what they want to say and I write it, then they sign.
I am also going to start sending some of their school worksheets with the letters. That way he knows what they’re doing in school and can see how they are progressing. They also have the opportunity to showcase the different things they’ve done. I think it’s a pretty win-win situation.
How do you keep your kids close to dad while he’s gone, without making it heart wrenching for dad or kids? Please share because I’d love to hear your tips and wisdom!
Tags: Adrienne Osborn, anxiety, dealing with separation, deployment, kids, military, onslow memorial hospital, tweens
