Sometimes dinner time feels a bit like I am running a race.  It is the time of day when everyone needs mom.  By the time dinner has been cooked and the family is in the kitchen, I try to get everyone fed as quickly as possible.  I often don’t even sit down.  I feed everyone at the bar that faces the kitchen.  While I am trying to eat, I am filling water glasses, grabbing napkins and anything else that is needed of me.  I really am not a fan of dinner time.

Last week, when  weather was nice, I felt I needed to set the table properly and eat around our table.  I enlisted everyone to help.  One child got the silverware, another brought the food and napkins to the table and I filled a pitcher full of water.  When the food was ready, we all sat down, said a prayer and ate together.  We laughed, we talked and we were able to look at each others faces. It was delightful! 

I have always been a big believer in eating dinner as a family and while we had been doing that, it  just wasn’t around the table.  I realized that everyone can help and they enjoy helping. It was fun for them.  I also enjoyed feeling like I was part of the family, rather then just the cook.

Wonderful memories can be made around the table.  It is the perfect time to ask your children about their day, ask how they are feeling about whatever activities and classes they are involved in, and even discuss current events.

In the world we live in today, we are constantly pulled in hundreds of different directions.  The computer, our cell phones, outside activities and work scream to us to spend more time outside of the home.  Let’s all make it a habit to take meal time as the time of day to turn off the cell phones, turn off the television and reconnect with our families.  Our children and families are the most important part of our lives.  Let’s all ‘take a little time’ to gather around the table and reconnect with our children!!

Here are a few fun questions you could use to get conversation going with your children around the table.

- What was the happiest part of your day today?

-If you had three wishes what would they be?

-What is your favorite time of day?

-Do you have a friend or teacher who really inspires you right now?

-What would be your dream job?

These are just a few ideas to make lots of happy memories around the dinner table.

What’s the question that helps you reconnect with your family? Please share in the comments below.

Patterson Park Playground by Flickr user Jeff Kubina

Last weekend, the weather was almost perfect for going to the local park. The sun was bright, the sky was clear and there was just a bit of chill in the air.

There are a lot of ways to ruin your tween’s park experience, though.

Prime examples include:

*Not bringing snacks/water – Bringing snacks and water is important for any outing, but especially for going to the park. Kids run around and get sweaty and thirsty. More important than bringing the snacks is making the child eat them, instead of whining their way to a fast food place.

*Being “that dad” – We’ve all seen “that dad” out and about…He’s the guy that’s wearing an obnoxious T-shirt or is otherwise inappropriately dressed. He’s loud and often ordering the children to “have fun” and “go play” in a pressured tone. Don’t be that dad. Or that mom, for that matter.

*Paying more attention to your park companion than your kid – I witnessed this one recently. A fellow and his significant other (wife, girlfriend, something) were at the park with a tweenager. The adults were constantly kissing, hugging, in deep quiet conversation and the child was pretty much ignored. If she came over to ask them a question, she was quickly ordered off to play. Don’t hover over your kids, but pay attention to them. It’s really all they want.

*Giving in too soon – Don’t be the parent that gives in too soon at the park, especially if your child asks to leave. Chances are that she’ll be bored by the time you get to the car.

*Making the kid leave too soon – Conversely to the above, don’t make your child leave before she’s ready, unless you have other things to do. You’re looking at a time bomb there.

*Having crazy rules – Outside time should be freeplay for your child. Don’t have crazy rules. Let them explore the world around them a bit. Pay attention, of course…But let them be free for a while.

*Not making your kid wear appropriate clothes – This should be a no-brainer, but if it’s chilly, don’t let your kid run around in a shorts and a T-shirt. They may not want to wear pants, but be the adult and look out for them.

I’ve committed a few of these and I’ll bet some of you have, too. Everyone ruins a trip to the park once in a while. Just realize when it’s you and try not to embarass your kids too much.

Have you had a bad park experience? Share your ideas, suggestions and questions in the comments.

Add one dog, two kids and three part-time jobs and you have the formula for our life.

Hello to all of you! My name is Kelly Gump and I will be blogging here on TweenBeat. I am the  mother of two boys who are 5 and 7. I was shocked to think of them as tweens but I have been told they are no longer cuddlebugs and I need to move on!

This is our second time living in Eastern NC. I am the wife of an active duty Marine so this is house No. 4 in eight years of marriage (not unlike many of you, I’m sure). Our oldest child was born here and our youngest in Georgia. I am originally from Ohio and I hope to get back there one day. In my pre-mom life, I attended Ohio State (Go Bucks!) where I earned a my undergrad degree in zoology. I went on to earn a masters degree in education and then headed into the classroom. My first teaching job was in Jones County and I loved every minute of it.

I decided to stay home once we had our first child and I also love that (really..I do), but I sort of cheated and had some work on the side to keep me sane.  I was lucky enough to work part-time from home as an online teacher and this year I have enjoyed working part time at St. Anne’s Day School where the boys are students.

Every day, it seems, I am surprised by something else from the boys. They really are not little guys anymore, but they are certainly not big guys either. We had our ups and downs when my oldest started kindergarten, my youngest has to be THE pickiest eater on the planet and while they boys are best friends…they fight…..alot.  Throw in one dog, three part-time jobs, several very long deployments and you pretty much have our life.  I am excited to share my stories with you and to hear some of yours. Here we go………..

So, if you’ve read the blog about my child having the allergic reaction, you’ll know why I’m writing this.  As everyone knows, my husband is currently deployed.  Military wives and husbands, it wasn’t until now that I realized the importance of having a support system.  A good core of friends is one of the most valuable and cherished things in my life. 

At the emergency room, Sarah called (or maybe I happened to call her, everything’s kinda hazy).  She came and picked up Vannah.  She kept Vannah until about midnight.  Brenda also called and volunteered to pick up Vannah and was always there for me as well.  Two days into the ordeal, Carla was ready and willing to drive to Chapel Hill’s ER with me.  She let me cry, let me worry, and shared my anger, and helped focus my rage.  I think she was just as peeved as I was.  K.U. fought like a caged pitbull to help me get a referral and was ready to advocate for me at a second’s notice.  Barb researched and researched into the late hours of the night.  My mom volunteered to come up to help as did K.U.  My sister-in-law came with me to the appointment and my mother-in-law showed up on Thursday so I could get some much needed sleep.   My neighbors, Shaun and Stephanie, came over and got Mallory dressed so that I could wash my greasy hair. 

Then when I got the referral to Chapel Hill, Sarah again opened her doors.  She let Vannah sleep over the night before and then kept her all day.  She bought her ice cream, made her smoothies, and was there to bounce ideas off of.   She researched, prodded and called every medical person she knew.  Brenda made sure we were on prayer lists all over creation.  Carla directed me to the best doctor on the east coast. 

So many things had to fall together perfectly and my friends and family made it happen.  It’s really important to reach out when you need help and your spouse is deployed.  It’s important that you develop a core of people who will be there when the poop hits the fan.  I don’t know what I would have done without my support system.

Have your friends and family helped you in times of trouble?  Have they kept you going when you thought you would lose it?   How so?  Please share your comments and stories below!

I’ve talked about our complicated sleeping arrangements, and even though Mini gets the big ol’ bed most nights, she’s still not sleeping through the night.

This is a build up of several things, I think.

• For about the first 5 years of Mini’s life, she’s slept in an adult bed…with an adult.
• Her mother leaves the television on at night and we all know nighttime programming isn’t for kids.
• She has nightmares and doesn’t know how to deal with them.

I can’t do much about the first or second issue, but I can offer this advice : Don’t ever let your infant sleep in your bed. And don’t leave the television on at night.

As for the third problem, nightmares and dealing with them, I can offer some help for Mini.

She and I picked out a nice little notebook and I’ve asked her to write down her dreams, even the bad ones. I’m hoping that the act of writing down the dreams will be cathartic for her and help get them out of, and off, her mind.

I’ve also encouraged her to talk about the dreams with me or her mother or AM or some adult. I know that talking about dreams  helps to figure out the message and what they mean.

I’m a big believer of dreams being a window into your mind and what’s going on around you. Sometimes when you’re stressed about something or bothered, you only see that in a dream. If that’s Mini’s case, I want her to be equiped to deal with it.

Have your tweens had trouble sleeping because of dreams? How have you tackled that issue? Leave your ideas, suggestions and questions in the comments.