Don't let stress tie you up in a knot. Try these techniques instead.
Monday, I shared my own story about how I deal with stress. Today, I want to offer parents some pretty handy tools to deal with stress, gleaned from my own professional work in helping parents and my own experience.
Here are a few tips:
- First, stop being a perfectionist. You don’t have to do it all – all the time. Ask for and accept help.
- Don’t expect too much from your children – it will only make YOU crazy. Know your children’s developmental and age-related boundaries. There are great books out there!
- Know your own limitations and learn to politely say “no” (go ahead – you can do it. It feels great! I was scared the first time, too).
- Plan ahead. Have a list of the meals you plan to make and post a menu in your home. This will help reduce unnecessary grocery purchases (which also helps you save money) and your family can select from the weekly menu! That’s hitting the easy button.
- Keep a journal about your day . . . this may help release frustrations about that rude customer or bothersome boss that you don’t want to take out on your loved ones.
- Of course – adopting a regular exercise regimen, eating a healthy diet, reducing caffeine, and increasing water intake certainly helps – and now that you have a weekly menu plan . . . you may have spare time! Even make it a family event and you will lead by example for your children.
- Share the job of keeping the house functioning. Make a chore chart for all family members to contribute. Then just follow it!
- For your kids – keep general routines consistent. Communicate expectations clearly and with age-appropriate language. Institute a reward system; something visual so your children will experience the feeling of success. Then just follow through with it!
- Hold a brief family meeting weekly to plan for activities and events.
- Talk to your husband. Let him know what burdens you feel and what he can do to help relieve home-related duties. No . . . he may not do things just like you, but give the guy a break and be thankful it’s being taken care of.
Although these few tips only graze the surface on reducing stressors, they’re a great starting point. Having less stress in the home will help reduce your stress level in the workplace and visa versa – so be aware of your stressors on the job and work to manage these as well.
Bottom line – don’t mess with stress. When symptoms of stress start to heighten and someone says . . . relax . . . take a good look at your triggers and take action!
If any group of moms ever needed to have techniques to deal with stress I would say it is the military moms here in Onslow county. As a spouse who has been through several very long deployments, I know I am grateful for the ideas here and would welcome hearing about any others
Hi Kelly!
I hear from many military moms in my work. I agree – you all face many unique challenges during deployments. Not only is your spouse out of reach, but many of you have no extended family in the area. There are the normal everyday worries a mom faces added to the fears and worries about the safey of your spouse. I applaud you all and hope these tips help to reduce at least a few stressors. Remember to tap into a social network of moms facing similar challenges during deployment times. Other women are out there feeling alone. It only takes one person to reach out and lend a hand or extend time to listen. It’s amazing how such small acts of kindness can reduce stress levels for each of us. Further – tap into time for yourself. There are a great deal of community and military support resources that will offer monthly respite time for a mom of a deployed military spouse. And certainly – share your stories here on TweenBeat – we’re here for ya!
Great article on handling stress. Kelly, you are not alone. Personally being military and having gone through a deployment there are many resources…Children in the Midst, FOCUS, school counselors often have support groups through the school funded by the gov’t where the children do journaling and age specific group therapy, plus Key Volunteers have a wealth of information, plus you are entitled to 20 hours free childcare respite- you are able to interview the potential centers or caregivers. If your husband is currently deployed, God Bless you, you are sacrificing just as much and are offering service too. I often would celebrate the half way mark with my kids and make a “party” celebrating how well they are doing and use that time to discuss feelings, etc. You are not alone and there are many who are in the same situation and willing to meet up for playdates/momdates to talk.