I think the hardest part of summertime is saying goodbye.  Saying goodbye to the many people who move, saying goodbye to family visits and visitors, saying goodbye to summer fun.  Although the summer is not over, it is quickly approaching.  We have had many opportunities of saying goodbye already.  So, how do we keep it healthy for our tweens and children?  Our family has found that journaling about trips, memories and people has helped alleviate the pain that is often felt when having to say goodbye.  Communication is key.  Talk about the funnest memories, talk about the hardest parts.

“The dreaded farewell is the one inevitable remainder at the end of your travel equation. Alas, such is the bittersweet lifestyle of those who are constantly in motion.” Natalie Grant, who also wrote these 5 golden rules for saying goodbye.

Golden Rule #1    Hang on tightly, let go lightly

Golden Rule #2  Try to live only in the present moment

Golden Rule #3   Embrace weak excuses to reunite

Golden Rule #4  Turn the time limit around until it works to your advantage

Golden Rule #5  Learn from the masters. Ah, the goodbye scenes. And the reunions!

Rachel Robertson recommends the following for children having to say goodbye and with separations:

Consistency and Routine

Good Communication

Attention and Good Times

Healthy Lifestyle

To Be a Kid

Reassurance

A Good Behavior Plan

Physical and Emotional Expressions of Love

However we say goodbye, it is important to remember the good things, memories and people.  My tween is having a harder time with goodbyes now that she understands time and realizes that it may be longer than she thinks before the next visit.

How do you make goodbyes a healthy experience?  Is it harder for your tween or has it gotten easier?

I posted last week about my oldest, Jake, and his new found Tweendom. He has been pushing his limits lately with a lot of talking back and too much arguing for his own good. It has been a really rough week, but I am hopeful that he is starting to see the light and that soon we can get back on better terms.

I took some time this weekend to spend one on one with Jake. I felt like we really needed it after constant time outs, too much yelling and a general depressing mood around the house. We were in a funk and I wanted to get out of it as quickly as I could. After a couple of hours together with pleasant conversation I feel re-energized and like we may have turned a page….maybe.

I am not naive…I know that Jake is only 7 and this is all part of growing up. I also know that this past week was no fun and I would prefer if we did not string together that many days in a row again of discipline problems. My game plan is

• Give him a warning each time he starts to talk back….a “why don’ t you try that again” moment
• If he persists, he is disciplined with a time out or something taken away..I don’t ever want to let it slide
• Catch him being good…if he stops himself from being argumentative I need to recognize that..it is so important that they are cat being good sometimes
• Spend one on one time with him each day..even if only 10 minutes
• Do all I can to explain things to him and remind him how much I love him

We’ll see how my plan works To Be Continued……

Summertime has brought many visitors and we LOVE it!  Being military and away from family has it’s challenges.  It is often expensive to visit family and not always easy with busy schedules, deployments, etc.  However, it is important to foster those family ties.  I’m the first to admit that I’m not good at letter writing, emails, sending pictures, etc.  I have good intentions, but being a mother is sometimes all I can do with 4 peoples’ schedules, routines, etc; I often “fail” at being the best correspondent.  This is why we love visitors because the kids and I can re-connect with family and show them how much we do love and appreciate them and create memories.

There is a unique “power” found in family relationships.  It is one that transcends through time, distance, and “issues.”  The saying, “blood is thicker than water” is a true statement.  My children see their family maybe once a year and often have gone for longer stints without visits.  Yet, when they are together it is an immediate connection, familiarity, and comfort.

We are blessed this week to have my sister and nephew visiting from Ohio.  It is so fun to see my children pick up like time hasn’t stopped.  We have had lots of wrestling, giggling, dancing and singing and look forward to many more memories of summertime childhood.

Some of my fondest memories with cousins are summer visits, camping, water fun, playing sports, playing on the farm.  I tend to take lots of pictures to capture these memories and make photo albums of family members so that our children are familiar with family members, it reinforces the memories created and becomes a precious keepsake for our kids.

What are some of the ways you foster cousin relationships with your tween?  Do you find the same magic and “power” in family relationships?

We have had a small garden for two years now.  I can’t take any credit for it, it is all my husband’s doing. I also wish I could say that I am better about getting the kids out there to help weed.

In the end, Matt usually makes it fun and gets us all out there together.  We were out weeding the other night and the weeds were BAD.  My tween was right there next to me helping pull all the weeds.  I was making some major progress and dripping sweat when I look up and my tween was no longer weeding next to me.  I bit my tongue and tried not to tell him to ‘get working’.  Instead I watched him and his little sister and was delighted.  They were making mud bombs and having the time of their life.  The question goes through my head, should I tell them both to stop playing and get working?  Or should I let them go on with their fun and make happy memories together?  I guess the answer for that would be different with each parent.  I chose to let them play.  I weeded the whole garden by myself…but, we were outside as a family, we were all having fun, they pulled weeds here and there and now know how to do it.  In that moment I felt like them being happy and having fun together was more important then being the drill sargent and getting them to pull weeds.

Isn’t that pretty typical of parenthood?  Situations are always different and you want to make the right choice for your tween…..do you let them throw mud bombs or keep weeding?

My choice, that day…….bombs away!!!!

The time has come for our trip to Ohio and DC. I have posted earlier about the lengthy car trip and all the packing involved, but now it is time to hit the road. Even though I know the boys will behave and I know the route like the back of my hand, I have to say, I am still not looking forward to our travels.

I know we could fly, but with the cost of airline tickets these days and the time involved in lay overs and waiting in lines….I would rather drive. Even getting there the way I prefer does not make me excited about the miles ahead. I love seeing my family and I know the boys will have a great time..I just wish it was more like…oh…..3 hours

By this time next week we will be in DC for a long weekend and the second part of our trip. If all goes according to plan we’ll see a few sights, visit with my brother and his wife and meet up with my husband who has to miss the earlier part of the trip. This will be our last getaway before school starts so I want to enjoy it as much as I can. Being the mom means I can’t relax the entire time, but at least an hour a day to sit back and do nothing would be nice.

I’ll get some pictures posted and let everyone know how it went once we return to sunny (and very hot) NC. Off we go…….