Don’t get excited, I’m not speaking about any particular swear word, I’m talking about FEAR! My children come from a family history of anxiety. It is a very real thing. Unfortunately, people often scoff or say that it’s their environment or us that create such reactions. Anxiety and worry is normal with children and people. However, people that are diagnosed with anxiety disorders have a heightened physical response to stimuli. My tween has been long diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. She physically gets sick- heart palpitations, headaches, stomachaches, vomits, shakes, etc. We have used a combination of therapy and low dose medication to help ease her anxiety. She has often “felt” different and cannot do what other kids her age does yet because her anxiety is still heightened to certain things…heights, falling (riding a bike) and drowning…swimming in deep water. As parents we want her to be able to do these things but have learned to adapt, not push, encourage and wait. This week I experienced a proud mom moment as I watched her gear up and pass her deep water test. She beamed with confidence and increased self esteem!
She was talking to herself and was so focused that she did many more laps than required. It was actually pretty cute. I watched as her anxiety heightened and she used self learned methods to calm herself down. I was there cheering her on and knowing that she could do it if she focused. I also knew that there was a possibility of the fear getting the best of her…however, we learn from failure as well as success. I watched proudly as I saw her practice, perform and overcome her FEAR! She passed! Then it was overcoming the diving board and doing what she has seen from across the pool all summer….kids her age jumping in the pool off the diving board. Once she discovers the freedom and joy and privilege of her success, there will be little holding her back.
As I parent I have had to learn when to push and when to back off. Each child is different. Each child has different fears. I am proud of my tween because she is learning how to handle her fears and what her own limitations are. She has shown courage in speaking up for the things she knows she’s not ready for.
How has your tween overcome personal fears or challenges? How have you dealt with acceptance of these fears as a parent?
Tags: Activities, children, health, Kristen Paulsen, stress, tweens
