I’m beginning to realize that motherhood dictates my life. My schedule and wants are second. This is OK, it’s a reality. There have been many articles written on kids being over-scheduled. How about the effects on over-scheduled Moms, it has the same effect…BURNOUT. Many women/mothers work, go to school, support husbands in demanding occupations or are left for long periods of time being single parents, plus taking care of health, home and kids. By the time we all put appointments on our calendars it can become overwhelming and over-scheduled. So, how do we fulfill our personal needs, give our children experiences, foster a sense of independence and creativity while not over-scheduling ourselves, children or family?
Here a few personal reflections on how I try to seek balance while avoiding complete Burnout….
1. Prioritize. Evaluate where you spend a lot of time. Is this working? If not, change. A wise man once said, ”As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best. Even though a particular choice is more costly, its far greater value may make it the best choice of all.”
2. Be Realistic. We all know what triggers stress in our self, children and families. So, listen. If it is too much for Mom, it is probably too much for the children.
3. Be honest. Know your limitations and express them. There is no harm in telling someone “No” or, “I can’t” Ultimately, family comes first.
4. Communicate. Communication is key not only with your spouse, children, but as a family. We have tried both ways…trying to do it all and learning that we have to limit each child to one activity so that none of us are over-scheduled.
5. Be creative. I have learned that things that bring me great joy can be combined with already scheduled activities. If I’m already at my son’s soccer practice and they need volunteers, why not volunteer. I’m teaching my other children to serve, building memories, and teaching my children about the value of creatively using time.
I loved this article written in a medical journal about over-scheduled children. I think we can also apply it to parents. It reminds us all to re-evaluate our good intentions and to slow down. Schedule time to do nothing. Schedule Pajama days. Explore and create.
Do you feel over-scheduled as a mother and what do you do to avoid it?
Tags: Activities, balance, communication, Creativity, family, health, Kristen Paulsen, Responsibility, stress
Really well said! I think we can get so over-scheduled that we don’t know what to do with downtime when we have it. This is such a hard one to negotiate because keeping busy creates its own kind of energy and can feel really fulfilling. The elusive magic of balance I suppose.
I love your phrase “the elusive magic of blanace.” I always appreciate and look forward from hearing from you Trinyan. You bring a very comforting perspective as a mother who has successfully lived through the “tween” years. Even when I feel overscheduled I always know what I want to do…read a book, sleep, or even go to the bathroom…by myself!