“Who’s your favorite princess?” was what my daughter used to ask me. Now that she is a tween, she recently asked me the dreaded question, “who’s your favorite child?” While we were on our annual summer vacation, my tween and I had several opportunities to ride rides together. The stand in line time was priceless to catch up and talk. We were waiting in line for a ride and the people before us were dancing, talking and having a great time. It was a mother and her 2 teen daughters. Their conversation turned to who’s your favorite in jest. To which the mother turned to my daughter and asked, you would never ask that would you?. Not being familiar with rhetoric yet, my daughter asked as soon as we had finished our conversation and the mother had turned back to her daughters. My daughter asked, “Mom, who is your favorite child?”
This is how I responded….well, you are all my favorites. Cliche? Not really. My tween is my favorite because she made me a mother (plus, so many other reasons). My son is my favorite because he made me a mother to a son, my only boy (plus, other reasons). My youngest is my favorite because she was my last biological child (plus, so many other reasons). Each of my children are favorites because of what they individually have taught me. Each are gifts from God. Each are unique, thus making them special and my favorite.
Since I have 3 favorites, I need to give them each that special time that reminds them why I love them so much. I need to connect with them in their own ways. I want each of my children to know that they are special and never to feel as though one of the others is more preferred. It made me realize that I have been given the blessing and stewardship and responsibility of helping 3 special kids feel just that, that they are each my favorite. So, without joining any debate, I am declaring that YES, each of my children are my favorite!!! I may show that love differently, but that’s because they are different!
Has your tween asked whose favorite yet? Do you feel like parents favor children?
Tags: balance, communication, family, Kristen Paulsen, parenting, parenting lessons, picking favorites, tough questions, vacation
He hasn’t asked me yet but I’m pretty sure he’ll know- because he’s an only child. I’m pretty confidant this fact will never change….favorite child you ask? You bet- I think Oliver is the greatest! As for my own experience being the youngest of four- I have experienced jealousy and feeling like one of us or the other were/are definitely favored. It’s frustrating but since becoming a parent- I can see how it might be difficult to always be “even” or fair. With everyone having such a unique personality and set of skills and talents- it makes sense that at certain or specific times one child may “outshine” another….if only for a moment. It is hard work to make sure that children feel special and are always acknowledged, understood and appreciated- because add in a husband, extended family, co-workers, neighbors and friends….it’s a lot!! You do a great job in my opinion- of putting things into perspective and offering advice on how to better balance these things while making it fun and meaningful. THANK YOU Kristen!!
Thank you Sarah for reading and your compliments too! You too are doing a great job!