In an earlier post I talked about Jake and Sam getting older. I have been expecting more of them at home now that they are Tweens. With that in mind we have now added a few items to their list of ways to help mom and dad. With dad away at school for a few months, it is even more important to me that they lend a hand. I just wonder sometimes how much is too much (or too little).

My Two Helpers

I am the first to admit that sometimes I do things myself  just to get them done faster (and right the first time:)) I still make their beds and get their clothes ready for them each day. I am sure some parents think that is ridiculous but it saves me time and most days…time is a VERY precious commodity. Even while I still help with those things, I have asked them to help in other areas and I am hoping it is enough to instill some work ethic in them.

Some ways the boys help now are:

• Letting the dog in and out and feeding her
• Clearing their place at the table
• Getting their own seconds when we are eating (so I can actually sit and enjoy a meal:))
• Helping with trash night and bringing the cans in the next day
• Loading their dirty clothes into the washer

It is not a very long list but it is a lot more than they were doing just a year ago. What does everyone think? Am I asking too much of a 6 and 7 year old? Too little?

Fall is quickly approaching here in North Carolina!!  Fall makes me so HAPPY!  By now, I am done with the sunshine and the swimming pool.  It was a great summer, but quite frankly, I was over it!

For my tween, fall means college football!  He was able to go to Florida to watch BYU play FSU.  College football is just one of the activities he loves about fall.  Here are his top ten activities that he is looking forward to this year.

1.  Taking a trip to Mikes Farm to go on a hayride and pick out his favorite pumpkin.

2.  Halloween – choosing and putting together a fun costume to go trick-or-treating in.

3.  Candy Corn and all the other yummy treats that go along with fall.

4.  Gathering together with his friends and family to celebrate Thanksgiving and help out with the pie making and turkey carving.

5.  Long Saturdays on the couch watching college football.

6.  Chilly Saturdays running around the soccer field trying to stay warm when the weather turns chilly.

7.  Raking up big piles of leaves to run and jump into, only to rake them up again and do it all over again.

8.  Going for walks and bike rides WITHOUT dripping in sweat.

9.  Watching ‘Star Wars the Clone Wars’ on Friday nights.

10.  Cleaning and cutting out jack-o-lantern’s to display for Halloween.

As you can see, both my tween AND I are more then ready for the fall to get here.  I know it is right around the corner and I am ready….come on Fall!!

What are some of you and your tweens favorite things to do in the Fall?

Being a planner I thought I would be smart and plan ahead for my tween’s birthday  (I’m also a bargain hunter and made my tween pick amongst the clearance themes)  The problem was that I bought birthday favors, etc. decided on a number to be invited and then tucked everything away.  This makes it easy to put it out of mind.  Well, it’s almost that time for my tween to celebrate yet another birthday.  However, she has bumped up the invitee list since she has formed new friends and wants to get to know some people better.  She also doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  This weekend we got her party gear down and started making the plans and getting creative to be able to include a few more people.

As my tween gets older I find it sometimes harder to know what type of party she may want.  We run the risk of not having it be too “childish” and still having it be fun and “cool.”  She loves American Idol or singing so that’s her theme.  She wanted to involve her brother and dad, so they will be judges.  She picked crafts, Karaoke, games, dance and singing contest, food and fun!  She has always had boys and girl parties up until she turned 9.  Now that boys are the object of crushes, she prefers not to subject her friends that are boys to that trauma of her friends that are girls acting weird.  So, this should limit it, right?  Wrong.  As she has become more involved in school and dance she has started meeting more people.  As parents we want to foster her desire to get to know people, not hurt others feelings by excluding people and continuing friendships that she has.  However, there have to be limits.  I personally don’t think it’s good to have too many people.  I also am a realist and know she can’t invite everyone.  I left this up to my tween and was amazed at her logic without being prompted by me.

She made her list of want to invite and should invite.  She decided that those people she wants to get to know better could be invited over for play dates instead of them thinking they had to get her a present.  She even said she didn’t need the presents.  I am grateful for her thought process, contributions to planning and her excitement.  I’m excited to be able to celebrate her soon and I can’t believe my baby is almost 10years old!  I am reminded everyday as my tween is getting older, maturing and going through changes.  Even though birthdays mean getting older, they are exciting and have become milestones with many memories.

How do you handle party planning with your tween?  Do you let them make all the decisions?  Do you fear hurting people’s feelings with the invitee list?  Do you limit guests to the recommended one per age?

Jake and Sam both love school. They like spending time with their friends and I think they may actually like learning a thing or two in the process As much as they like being there, some days they get into the car and I can tell something was not so great about their day. During times like this I feel really bad for them, but I am also grateful that they are sweet, kind boys with feelings that can get hurt.

Earlier this week I wrote about a bad experience Jake had on the playground. It was not a bullying situation or anything where he was physically hurt. He was embarrassed and I could tell he was not sure how to process those feelings. While I wanted to help him, I also did not want to push him to talk about it more than we needed to. I knew we should talk it out and I wanted to help him understand what it all meant, but I did not want to put more importance on it than it needed.

We talked about 5 minutes about what happened. I made sure he understood he was not truly being picked on. His friends thought they were being funny and that he would be part of the joke. Once they found out how it hurt him….they both ended up crying too so he knew that. We talked about what to tell them so they know how they hurt his feelings. By the end of our talk, he was smiling and talking with Sam about what they were doing to play at home.

I can’t know with 100% certainty that the incident is out of his mind but he had a good weekend and as a mom, that was all I could try to accomplish.

Have you had to talk with your tweens about bad school days? Any tips?

Food allergies can range from mild to life-threatening. Parents of children with severe food allergies should prepare faculty at the child’s school.  The American Academy of Allergy Asthma & Immunology offers these suggestions:

• Schedule a meeting with your child’s teachers at the beginning of the school year to review your child’s food allergies.
• Also discuss the child’s allergy history with the school’s nurse.
• Provide a doctor’s note for the school that allows your child to have emergency medication at school.
• Provide snacks that your child and other children can eat during school parties.

Specific Allergies

Know the Risks
Peanut allergies, especially, require a lot of advance planning.  Some things that those with nut allergies need to avoid are below.  Lists like these should be provided to the child’s teach or friend’s parents, in case any item comes into question while that person is with the child.

Risks to avoid:

• Packaged foods without a full ingredient list.
• Packaged food with wording such as “processed in plant that processes peanuts.”
• Asian cuisine (Chinese, Indonesian, Thai, Vietnamese). Even if your order is peanut free, it may have been cooked with utensils that have touched peanut products.
• Ice cream shops. Scoops may go from nut-filled to nut-free ice creams without thorough washing.
• Small bakeries. Bakery work areas are hard to clean.

Read more about kids and food allergies.