I had a stressful week recently. There was an issue at school with my oldest, Jake, and it took a lot out of me to try to make things right. That said, it was what I had to do and I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant getting something for my child that he needs and deserves.

When I became a mom I knew that I would do anything for my kids…it was just a given. I guess I just did not know what those “things” might be. As the boys have grown, I have gotten a better sense of what they may be fore each of them. Sometimes it is easy to do like making sure something is on the menu for my picky Sam before we eat out, but this past week I have to say was the toughest fight to date.

I am a teacher and I think it was this coupled with the issue being at school that made this particularly rough on me. Do I approach things as a mom or a teacher? How do those two sides of me work together? I had never had to think about it until now. As a teacher, I have dealt with parents who were pushy and thought they knew better than anyone at the school. I wanted to make sure I came across as an ally and not an enemy. We are still working on the issue at hand for Jake and I am hopeful I am being helpful and not a pain……..I guess only time will tell. One thing for sure is that I will push when I need to for my kids.

Have you ever had to fight for something for your Tween? At School? Sports?

With the recent weather and rain, Onslow County Schools had announced for two days in a row that children would not be able to attend school.  So, that means those days obviously have to be accounted for and made-up.  What children don’t understand is how a holiday can become a make-up day, especially when military parents are off and they are now off to school.  Also, a day before a holiday, once designated as a safe traveling day, is now another make-up day.

These make-up days don’t account for family in town, holiday travel plans, etc.  It was mother nature that brought the rain and hence the days off.  It is reality of school funding, obligatory days and attendance within the schools and it’s life.  However, as a parent I was very disappointed about the lack of communication of letting us know these days.  I did NOT receive a phone call, a letter home, etc.  Rather, I looked on the school board website to find a revised school day listing (click this link, Revised SY Calendar 2010-2011 to download the PDF they posted).

How were you notified?  How did your children handle the news of having to go to school on a holiday?  How do you teach your tween to deal with life changes and disappointments?  Much of this comes down to attitude and reality of life.  The only thing constant is change and as hard as it is, it is a fact of life.

It has made me think about ways I can do better as a parent to prepare my child for events like this.  We certainly had fun on our rain days off.  However, it was a sad day to watch my tween and son have to go to school and leave their Dad behind as well as visiting family.  Some could say that I could have kept them home, however, being military and not knowing our life’s future or deployments, we guard those 16 days that are allowed without punishment for illness, necessary travel, etc.

How did you all deal with the recent storms, days off and make-up days?

The school year is officially under-way!  My second grade tweeny-bopper is doing quite well.  I home schooled him last year, so I was very interested as to how the transition would go for both him and me.

Lincoln loves being in school.  He is thriving both academically and socially.  He is working really hard and his teacher challenges him and inspires him to achieve his full potential.

When it comes to academics, he is right on target.  At the same time, I have carefully watched and have seen a few things we could probably work on here at home.  I think it is time to break out the subtraction flash cards.  I feel if he can increase his speed he would be able to get through his work both quickly and thoroughly.

I smile when I see him come home with grass stains on his jeans.  He has started playing football games at recess and is loving that.

He communicates openly with me and I enjoy hearing his stories and frustrations.  I am so happy with how things are going!

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On the other side of the spectrum…I have gone from busy days of home school, to a nice schedule…..

- pick up carpool and venture off to school

- hit the gym for a workout

- errands, playgroup or home

- nap time for baby, time for me to get things done that need to be done

- baby wakes up and kids carpool drops them off at home

- after school snacks and homework

- soccer practice or spend the evening playing outside

- get kids to bed

My life is very scheduled, my kids are happy and love their routine!  I am happy and feel like I can be the Mom that I want to be to my kids.

Transition = Successful!!

Last year my daughter and I started a Tween Book Club primarily with those girls for whom I had been a Girl Scout Leader for 3 years.  It was great, the girls learned leadership, loved furthering their friendships, gained a greater love of reading and improved scholastically.

As my tween gets older I am realizing how stretched I have become as a parent of 3 different aged children and how hard it is to give them each the individual time they need.  Last year I often heard some of the moms remorsefully state how they wish they had time to participate in a book club.

A friend had gotten me the box set to Mother Daughter Book club and this was the year to really get it going!  We invited tons of people, some we didn’t know that well, but all within the same grade and age level.  My tween said, “that was the BEST night I’ve had in a long time Mom, that was so fun!”  The moms organized, the girls contributed, everyone shared favorite summer or current reads, we created books titled to describe our relationship with our daughters and we left having a schedule for the entire year!  The best part of it was that we now all have a set weekend evening a month to spend with our daughters and entering “their” worlds.

Here are some tips for starting a tween book club:

* Organize and be detailed- how frequently?  what types of books? (we decided they had to be AR books so the children could use them at school too)

*  Limit the number of participants to between 6-10 tweens

*  Decide a location- we rotate based on which tween’s month it is, it could be at someone’s home, reserve a library room, a restaurant that is quiet enough to discuss, etc.

* Allow the Tweens to be the Leaders

* Make it Fun

* Have food

* Get creative- do crafts pertaining to the book, have food from the time period, come in costume

It has been fun seeing these girls pick their own books, lead their discussion on their month and introduce each other to different genres of books.  There are also book clubs at the local libraries, Barnes and Noble, the military base libraries or you could start your own!

“If you can read this, thank a teacher.”  Thank you Mom & Dad!  Both educators, both lover of books and both my examples to whom I owe my worth in books!  If I never travel I’d be OK with the many adventures and places my parents introduced me to through books.

How do you foster a love of reading with your tween?  As our tweens get older are you facing more resistance to read?  Have you read the classics with your tween?

I tell you one thing, life is really busy once school starts.  By the time we get the backpacks unloaded and the homework done, it is usually dinner time in our house.  Unfortunately, our nights aren’t that simple like many of you!  Two nights a week it is off to soccer practice for the evening, for two kids.  That means by the time we drive home it is time for baths and bed.  Oh great, where the heck were we supposed to eat dinner in that time frame.

I have found a great solution that works most of the time.  I pack a cooler and we eat dinner at the park after soccer practice.  The kids can play and we can be together as a family for a little while before the chaos of bedtime begins.

On those nights that we are home, I work really hard to have a family dinner.  It is important to me, and while it is not easy, I know that someday it will matter.

I recently found an article on this in Time Magazine entitled, The Magic of the Family Meal by Nancy Gibbs –  here is a quote from her article,

“In fact, it’s the experts in adolescent development who wax most emphatic about the value of family meals, for it’s in the teenage years that this daily investment pays some of its biggest dividends. Studies show that the more often families eat together, the less likely kids are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders and consider suicide, and the more likely they are to do well in school, delay having sex, eat their vegetables, learn big words and know which fork to use. “If it were just about food, we would squirt it into their mouths with a tube,” says Robin Fox, an anthropologist who teaches at Rutgers University in New Jersey, about the mysterious way that family dinner engraves our souls. “A meal is about civilizing children. It’s about teaching them to be a member of their culture.”

So there you have it, the statistics are there, it is not easy but OH soooo worth it!!

What are your thoughts on eating together as a family?