Welcome back! Join the conversation by commenting on any of our posts.

My boys would not think of throwing trash out the car window or leaving their left over chip bag on the sand at the beach. As a matter of fact, if we are out and they see garbage out of place, they will often pick it up and put it in the trash can. Since they were very small we have told them that it is wrong to litter and they should recycle. Why then, can you tell me, do they leave a trail of wrappers and juice boxes behind them all through our house!

I spend a good part of my day “reminding” the boys to take any food garbage items to the kitchen when they are done. It seems no matter how many times I tell them, I still find a straw wrapper on the floor or a fruit snack bag on the couch. I suppose I should require them to eat and drink in the kitchen, but the truth is, that would be harder on me than them. It would just be one more thing I would need to remember to enforce. Anyway…as they get older aren’t they supposed to be more responsible!? (Oh wait…..my husband is 36 and I don’t think he has gotten the clean up memo yet )

I clean their rooms, wash their clothes, make sure they bath and brush…I just feel like there should be a point where they can at least clean up their own wrappers. I am still not sure what angle I will take with this……something has to change or I may lose my mind Suggestions??

Jake and Sam had their first babysitter when they were pretty young. My mom and mother in law watched them a few times for us if we had appointments or wanted a night out. It did not happen often, but we lived two hours from our parents and it worked out well. During Kerry’s second (very long) deployment, I needed someone more frequently so I set out on a quest for that perfect sitter.

Anyone who has a good sitter knows how it feels….you can leave your kids and relax. You know they will be taken care of, kept in line and when you come home your house will still be in one piece. I had never looked for a sitter before, but I had a feeling I would know the right person when I met them. I hit the jackpot after interview #3 and three years after we left Ohio and Kelly, I still miss her

Kelly was a high school junior with younger siblings herself. She took care of the boys as if they were her family. She became part of our family…dinner out, going to watch her boyfriend play lacrosse…..she was my go-to when I had a doctors appointment or just wanted to get groceries in peace. Though we have had good sitters since then, none have compared to her.

Just this past month we had a new sitter with the boys and we all like her a lot. She was even able to handle Jake, Sam and two friends on her own for five hours….not too shabby. I hope, in time, she can come to mean as much to us as Kelly did, but I know those are big shoes to fill. Jake and Sam are the most important things in the world to me and though I don’t expect a sitter to feel the same, it sure is nice when they come close

Do you have a great sitter? Any nightmare stories about one that was not so great?

One thing my tween has to deal with is his siblings.  He is the oldest of our three children.  Being the oldest has it’s perks.  But being the oldest also comes with responsibilities.  I rely alot on Lincoln to help me with our baby.  Often he will get her out of her crib in the morning, get her a sippie cup and read her stories.  He really loves her and likes to help, but sometimes he doesn’t want to help.

I have tried to teach him the importance of looking out for his little sisters.  In turn, I have noticed that he also looks out for other little children.  It is an important concept to teach out tweens.  I hope to instill in him the importance of not only looking out for younger children, but also standing up for himself and for things he feels strongly about.

I think the basis of this comes from teaching him right from wrong, teaching him to look for the good in others and stand up for those who are picked on or made fun of.    I feel like Lincoln has a good grasp on this.  Is he perfect at it…no?  But that’s okay.  I think one of the best ways I can teach him these things are through example.  I know he watches his Dad and me.  He wants to be like us…so we better be on our best behavior for him!!!

How do you teach your tween how to look out for those who are younger and also those who might not be ‘cool’?

I posted last week about my oldest, Jake, and his new found Tweendom. He has been pushing his limits lately with a lot of talking back and too much arguing for his own good. It has been a really rough week, but I am hopeful that he is starting to see the light and that soon we can get back on better terms.

I took some time this weekend to spend one on one with Jake. I felt like we really needed it after constant time outs, too much yelling and a general depressing mood around the house. We were in a funk and I wanted to get out of it as quickly as I could. After a couple of hours together with pleasant conversation I feel re-energized and like we may have turned a page….maybe.

I am not naive…I know that Jake is only 7 and this is all part of growing up. I also know that this past week was no fun and I would prefer if we did not string together that many days in a row again of discipline problems. My game plan is

• Give him a warning each time he starts to talk back….a “why don’ t you try that again” moment
• If he persists, he is disciplined with a time out or something taken away..I don’t ever want to let it slide
• Catch him being good…if he stops himself from being argumentative I need to recognize that..it is so important that they are cat being good sometimes
• Spend one on one time with him each day..even if only 10 minutes
• Do all I can to explain things to him and remind him how much I love him

We’ll see how my plan works To Be Continued……

We have had a small garden for two years now.  I can’t take any credit for it, it is all my husband’s doing. I also wish I could say that I am better about getting the kids out there to help weed.

In the end, Matt usually makes it fun and gets us all out there together.  We were out weeding the other night and the weeds were BAD.  My tween was right there next to me helping pull all the weeds.  I was making some major progress and dripping sweat when I look up and my tween was no longer weeding next to me.  I bit my tongue and tried not to tell him to ‘get working’.  Instead I watched him and his little sister and was delighted.  They were making mud bombs and having the time of their life.  The question goes through my head, should I tell them both to stop playing and get working?  Or should I let them go on with their fun and make happy memories together?  I guess the answer for that would be different with each parent.  I chose to let them play.  I weeded the whole garden by myself…but, we were outside as a family, we were all having fun, they pulled weeds here and there and now know how to do it.  In that moment I felt like them being happy and having fun together was more important then being the drill sargent and getting them to pull weeds.

Isn’t that pretty typical of parenthood?  Situations are always different and you want to make the right choice for your tween…..do you let them throw mud bombs or keep weeding?

My choice, that day…….bombs away!!!!