Both of my boys are kind and sensitive. It is one of the traits I appreciate most in them. Unfortunately for Jake, this week it was also a trait that caused him to be pretty embarrassed in school.  There was an incident in music class and as a teacher at the school, I was there to see firsthand how Jake reacted to being sent out of class for his behavior.

The "Offender" hamming it up on a recent trip to DC

I was stopped in the hallway by Jake’s teacher…she told me he had been sent back to the classroom for a minor issue. I know firsthand that the music teacher at school is not very tolerant and she is quick to send kids out when she does not like their behavior. I guess it was Jake’s turn and he did not handle it well.

Jake is not a child who gets in trouble at school. He gets good report cards and conference time is as easy as can be when I talk with his teachers. That is why this incident upset him so much. He was teary eyed when I walked in and seeing me only made it worse. I tried really hard to calm him down before his classmates came back into the room. I could tell he was puzzled about being sent out and felt bad enough about that part alone. Having his friends see him cry would have done him in!

As the boys get older I am sure the tears will not come so easily, but for now, at seven, Jake could not hold them back. The hard part for me was treating the issue and the tears all at once without seeing him as a little boy anymore. He is learning to calm himself down and he is dealing with the feelings of embarrassment be now feels when he cries in front of others. I just hope we don’t need to deal with it anymore at school

When did your tween start to become more self conscious about tears in public?

I remember when my tween Lincoln was little.  He would often completely light up when he was around boys who were older then him.  He loved watching them and would copy everything they did.

I specifically remember one little boy who Lincoln thought was soooo cool.  Lincoln would copy every way this boy swung his light saber, played war and wrestled.  Lincoln LOVED to be around this little boy.

Now, my Lincoln is no longer this little boy watching older kids with stars in his eyes.  HE has become that big kid that little boys watch and try to imitate.  I watch Lincoln with his little cousin, Austin.  Austin watches Lincoln very closely and does everything Lincoln does.  It is adorable..!

At the same time, I wonder what choices and actions Lincoln will continue to make in his life.  Will he continue to be sensitive and kind?  Will these tween years and upcoming puberty make him moody and grumpy?  I guess that is the joy of Motherhood.  Only time will tell, I will continue to hope and pray that he will continue to be a happy kid.  I will hope and pray that we will be able to survive the tween and teen years with a good, solid relationship of respect and trust!

One thing is for sure, this tween of mine has grown up SO FAST and I am so proud of the wonderful little person he has become so far in his life!

What are some changes you see as your tween starts to get older and grow up?

As my tween is growing up, his body is getting longer and bigger.  Inside he is the same crazy kid and doesn’t always realize what that big body of his can do.  Things like jumping on the couch don’t work so well anymore.  Because he is so big, we have to get on him for this because he could easily break it.

I find that he also needs space to run free and be a little wild at times.  We have a small playroom in our house that we use for video games, a small children’s table and a couch.  He has quickly out grown this kid table and might possibly break the little chairs that he used to fit so comfortably in.

I am finding that he needs a more grown up space.  A place without lots of furniture so he can wrestle with his friends and  play war and nerf  gun games.  I found some awesome mattresses that are quite classy and look like couches that would be ideal for an area to play, jump and be crazy!

I hate always getting after him to not jump on the couch and shoot Nerf guns in the house.  I am ready for a new place with a desk his size, a place to play video games, a place to jump and run and shoot things.  A perfect place for my active tween boy!!  I better get planning….

What area in your home have you found that is functional and comfortable for your tween?

Do you ever have those moments when you realize that your tween is changing and growing up?  I feel like I am having these moments all the time with my tween lately.  I see his expressions change, his understanding brighten and his face changing from his sweet boyish features into a more mature version of himself.  At the same time, he is such a kid full of boundless energy and excitement for life!

Lincoln is my first child to enter these tween years.  Here are some tips on how to positively manage and work with tween behaviors;

*  When dealing with angry tweens, make sure you set limits on how they’re allowed to express their feelings. Violent out bursts, physical aggression, and disrespectful behavior should not be tolerated. It’s important to teach your tween now how to responsibly manage his or her emotions. Doing so will make the teen years much easier for both of you.

*  Moody tweens often need time alone in order to calm down and put things into perspective. If your tween struggles with mood swings, help him find ways to deal with his emotions positively. He could listen to music, read a book, or spend time playing video games.

My tween Lincoln is a good boy!  We have taught him from day one how important it is to make good choices.  He is definitely not perfect, but for the most part, he is a good kid.

He is a second grader this year.  He has come home a few times, telling me about the little girls who like him.  He tells me who likes who and some of the silly things the girls will say.  He has always been incredibly open and honest with me.  We tease him that he isn’t aloud to have a girlfriend until he is 25!  He knows we are kidding, but at the same time, we counsel him to stay away from these silly girls and their crushes….he is too young.

As  I have mentioned earlier, our backyard is the neighborhood hangout.  Many of the neighborhood kids spend their evenings back there playing.  There is a certain little girl I have always loved.  Both my son and daughter enjoy playing with her and I think she is delightful.  I have come to the knowledge that she is pretty smitten with Lincoln.  I have never said anything until I saw her run into the house with Lincoln and lock the door.  Can you just hear how LOUD I stomped down that hallway…I did!!  Lincoln was on his way to get his Nerf gun and she had another plan!!   She and Lincoln received a lecture from me about how there are NO boys and girls in bedrooms with the door closed!!

Lincoln and I had a nice long talk after this situation.  He went on to tell me that she told him that she loves him.  Oh boy – I’m glad Lincoln has been taught from a young age what is acceptable and what is not.

Most importantly, I am grateful for the open communication I share with my tween so when situations like this happen…he is never CONFUSED!!  It is super tough growing up and I want to be there to help my tween as much as possible!!

Have you had these little ‘crush’ situations with your tween?  How have you handled it?