My parents and my husband’s parents all live in Ohio. Ever since I got married and moved away, I have called my mom and dad once a week, on Sunday, to check in and catch up. Sometimes when there was news or something to share we would talk more often, but always on Sundays. When we had the kids, that did not change, but something has changed in the past couple of years. My dad calls more….a lot more…and it is backfiring a bit on him.

We have used Skype on Sundays with the boys for years now to make sure my parents got to “see” Jake and Sam weekly (my mother in law has yet to join the internet world:)) For awhile, that was enough but something happened during Kerry’s last deployment. All of the sudden my dad felt the need to call 5-7 times per week…in addition to the Sunday call. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dad, but all of this calling meant to bring him closer to the boys had the opposite effect.

The boys are only 6 and 8 and well, they are boys. They don’t have that much to say or share on the phone. When you ask how their day was you get “fine.” When you ask if anything exciting happened you get “no.” All of this just frustrates my dad and no matter how I have tried to tell him that maybe fewer calls would be more meaningful. Now that my dad has an iPhone and facetime…well let’s just say..it opens a whole new world of calls to make I try to tell the boys it is just because he loves them but they are just not up for a call every night….they have nothing to share.  For now we will just keep answering when he calls and making our call on Sundays.  I know it is all out of love and I suppose the boys just need to accept that and love that he cares that much about them.

What would you do? Would you continue to point out that fewer calls may be better or just let it go?

Have you ever wondered where words come from?  Recently we read Frindle by Andrew Clements for our mother daughter book club.  It challenged us to think of how words are created.  Where do they come from?  How do they get into the dictionary?  Words have the power to lift or destroy.  It was this group of girls that made words become significant with thought provoking questions, comments and insights.

Although the book Frindle is fiction, it got me thinking.  Thinking about words.  Getting a new word into a dictionary.  It also got me thinking about influential teachers.  Teachers that challenge you, teachers that encourage you and teachers that quietly cheer for your success.

We all have had teachers in our lives that have positively influences us for good.  How?  Usually by words of encouragement or perhaps words of honesty.  Those same teachers challenged us to choose our words wisely to write, speak and communicate better.  These teachers stand out in our minds because they cared and shared their opinions through words.

Just like in the book a frindle is a pen.  My children have been calling a pen frindle.  When I asked my son why he said his sister wrote on the swing-set with a frindle, he repeated his sentence interchangeably with pen and frindle.  A word gets spoken and once understood is repeated…many times.  It makes you think twice about the words you choose.  Many words originate from Latin, but before that?  Interesting topic.  Check out the following link to see how Webster and Oxford decide which words make the new versions of dictionaries.   It basically comes down to usage.

http://www.suite101.com/content/oxford-standardizes-slang-by-adding-new-words-to-the-dicitonary-a287100

Who would have ever thought a group of 10 year olds would create such a grammar stir in this 36 year old?  Way to be girls!  Just like words have power, I’m starting to think my daughter and her friends have definite girl power!  It calms my soul knowing that the “next generation” are thinkers.

If you were to create a new word, what would it be?  What is the definition of your new word?

Last week celebrated another report card.  It also marked an early spring as Phil did not see his shadow! In my books, there is plenty to celebrate! We do not pay our children for grades. We do not pay them for chores.  However, we do like to do spontaneous celebrations of them. This includes theme nights, favorite foods, family fun, favorite game, etc. The best part about it….you never know when Mom is going to surprise you with a celebration, hence, our family motto, every day’s a party!

Celebrating doesn’t take a lot of preparation, money or decor. It takes good ole’ fashion time. I’m realizing how much my children have come to value that time with family. They value the surprises and celebrations. It encourages us to be our best self. It encourages cooperation, teamwork and being each other’s cheerleaders. Family is a reason to celebrate in itself. Perhaps I’m getting old and more sentimental, but I look at my almost 11 year old and I realize that she has less time at home now than not. I look at my younger two and realize that time is too precious to waste wishing I would have. It’s time to do. Do the things I think about and not have regrets.

As we looked at the comments about our children on their report cards, of course we were proud at their grades, but more importantly we are proud about the great people they are becoming. That is reason to celebrate!

My boys favorites is good ole’ hamburgers.  My daughters favorites is anything fancy.  So, last week called for fancy drinks, “restaurant-style” serving and a family meal of conversation and praise. There are so many ways we can celebrate each other, but what is important is that we do it. Don’t take accomplishments for granted. Make sure you are equal or at least equally showing each person you care and love them. I love to watch my 19 month as she gets celebrated for helping to set the table….is it perfect, NO. However, when she gets thanked and acknowledged, there is nothing cuter than her clapping for herself.

How do you celebrate hard work and accomplishments in your home?

Both my older children are dramatic.  They have a certain flair for drama, music, dance and they like the attention.  These characteristics all equate to budding thespians. I’ll admit I was in drama throughout high school and started when I was quite young, too.  It gave me confidence, power in public speaking, allowed me to “escape” reality and pretend to be other people, fostered creativity and imagination, allowed friendships, gave me skills and most importantly I discovered something I enjoyed.

I recently received an email from a friend telling me of auditions.  Since my daughter is very involved in dance and soccer was over, I asked my son if he was interested in auditioning.  He enthusiastically said ‘YES!’  Then mom instincts kicked in and I thought of all the what-ifs.  What-if my sensitive little boy doesn’t get cast?  Is he emotionally equipped to deal with “rejection?”  What if he is cast, is he prepared to perform in front of large audienceswithout messing up or forgetting and again having an “emotional breakdown?.”  So, we will go audition and Mom will take a big breath and chalk this up for experience, right?!  Stay tuned for updates….

(thes·pi·an  (thsp-n) adj. 1. Of or relating to drama; dramatic: thespian talents.2. Thespian Of or relating to Thespis.n. An actor or actress.)

As parents we often feel like we have to “protect” our young.  However, we won’t always be there.  We can’t control every circumstance.  The worse thing that could happen from an audition is that they say, ‘No.’  The best, he gets a great experience with ups and downs.  I feel like I should give my children choices in what things they try and different things without pushing my likes or my husbands.  Each of my children are unique in talent and personality.   I think my mama bear instinct is overprotective.

Have you ever allowed your child to participate in something even though there was a chance for complete failure or negative outcomes?   How do you foster your children’s interests?

My son is in Kindergarten.  Still an age of innocence, right?!  I was dumbfounded by what came out of his mouth when he got angry the other day.  I stood there for a second thinking he didn’t really just say that to me and then proceeded to put him on timeout.  After speaking with him later about it I discovered that someone he considers a friend (and someone I consider a bad influence) uses “potty words” all the time.  So, we discussed our home “rules” again and set some future consequences for him using inappropriate language.  We try really hard not to expose our children to words we don’t want them using.  In fact, “stupid” is a bad word to us; we prefer to use silly instead.  It hit me the his outside influences are becoming stronger as he is away from home longer.  I know we cannot “shelter” him forever, but, really?  Kindergarten?!

So, how do we teach our children to differentiate which words and phrases are OK and appropriate and which are not?  Inside our homes we set the tone and the rules for what is OK.  However, when children hear things in movies or in stores it is OK to say, “ignore that,” or “we don’t say things like that.”   Yet, there are many times our children will hear things and will most likely try repeating them for effect.  It is best not to get too angry until you discuss what they understand about what they just said.  Most often than not, our kids don’t really know what they are repeating.  It is a “parrot” affect.  However, once discussed, future rules need to be clear.

It is also a good idea to tell our children to stand up and tell their friends not to use certain language because it is offensive.  If they choose not to respect you, again it becomes a learning lesson in choosing our friends wisely.  If children are using foul language on the playground at recess, I want my children to tell an adult.  There is no reason to have “potty” mouths, especially at school where we should be teaching our children good grammar and words.  School is the last place I want my child picking up inappropriate language or manners.

Here is a neat article about different reasons a child may use “bad words,”  it’s not always what we think.

How do you handle when your child uses a new word that may not be acceptable in your home?  Do you think a child should be encouraged to tell an adult or teacher or do you view that as tattling?