Have you ever wondered where words come from?  Recently we read Frindle by Andrew Clements for our mother daughter book club.  It challenged us to think of how words are created.  Where do they come from?  How do they get into the dictionary?  Words have the power to lift or destroy.  It was this group of girls that made words become significant with thought provoking questions, comments and insights.

Although the book Frindle is fiction, it got me thinking.  Thinking about words.  Getting a new word into a dictionary.  It also got me thinking about influential teachers.  Teachers that challenge you, teachers that encourage you and teachers that quietly cheer for your success.

We all have had teachers in our lives that have positively influences us for good.  How?  Usually by words of encouragement or perhaps words of honesty.  Those same teachers challenged us to choose our words wisely to write, speak and communicate better.  These teachers stand out in our minds because they cared and shared their opinions through words.

Just like in the book a frindle is a pen.  My children have been calling a pen frindle.  When I asked my son why he said his sister wrote on the swing-set with a frindle, he repeated his sentence interchangeably with pen and frindle.  A word gets spoken and once understood is repeated…many times.  It makes you think twice about the words you choose.  Many words originate from Latin, but before that?  Interesting topic.  Check out the following link to see how Webster and Oxford decide which words make the new versions of dictionaries.   It basically comes down to usage.

http://www.suite101.com/content/oxford-standardizes-slang-by-adding-new-words-to-the-dicitonary-a287100

Who would have ever thought a group of 10 year olds would create such a grammar stir in this 36 year old?  Way to be girls!  Just like words have power, I’m starting to think my daughter and her friends have definite girl power!  It calms my soul knowing that the “next generation” are thinkers.

If you were to create a new word, what would it be?  What is the definition of your new word?

Here we go again….limbo one more time. As you may know from previous posts, my husband’s career was up in the air for sometime last year. We thought we had things settled…two year orders to keep us here in Jacksonville. Our house went up for sale and we contracted to buy a larger place once this one sold. Our plan was to transition the boys from St Annes to public school next year and we are all content with our decisions. Well…….time to scratch all that and back to square one.

Part of my husband’s career search involved the FBI. He completed phase I and passed. We were told to sit tight so we did….for 8 months. We finally had to move on so we could have some stability and a certain paycheck. Of course, as soon as we had done this the FBI called late in January to ask him to come in for phase II. Luckily for him, he will be able to continue to work where hes is on orders, go interview and then keep working until he hears about the next step. Our issue is that this whole process from phase I to academy can take 2-3 years. We are right in the middle of it now with a house for sale and two school age kids. With no clear direction in site about where we will be next fall…that poses a real problem.

The boys will be making a big change next year from a small, private school (where mom works) to a public school. That will be enough stress…we really don’t need to throw in not knowing where that will be or whether or not we will face a move halfway through the school year. For now, we are just telling the boys things are a bit up in the air but they will be settled soon. I wish I had that confidence deep down. Sadly, for the FBI, I think soon will be months from now.

What would you do in this situation? Would you move the kids halfway through the school year if need be?

Remember when all you could think about is that man that swept you off your feet?  Those eyes that sparkled as you locked in gazes at each other.  That smile that could melt away any insecurities you may have had.  The feeling that you are the most beautiful woman in the world and obviously the luckiest to have each other.  Well, it’s Valentine’s week and it’s time to feel the love.  I received my sweet cousin’s wedding invitation this past week (don’t they look so in love?!) and I was reminded of those feelings for my own husband as I looked at their engagement announcement.

As time passes and kids come along it is hard to feel that same connection.  People work, stresses occur, reality hits, children come along and before you know it conversations are focused around bodily fluids and the kids.  Both are exhausted and the routine starts over day after day after day.

Remember when a date is what you looked forward to, prepared for, primped for and thought about all week?  Well, that is why wise men have counseled to have weekly dates with our spouses.  It doesn’t have to cost money.  It doesn’t have to  be elaborate.  Yet, it takes time and preparation.  Failure to plan is planning to fail.  Just like we schedule appointments for doctors, work, clients, etc.  We must set that time aside for each other.  When my husband & I have gone out, my children are so happy to have their sitter.  Why?!  Not because they don’t like us, but because they get a break, it’s fun and they know that Mom & Dad are taking care of their marriage.  Children need to feel secure.  We live in a society that is heavily inundated with divorce, nontraditional family situations, separations, etc.  Even our children have said things when they don’t see us going out for a while.  They hear so many stories from friends that they worry.  Children want to see their parents taking care of them and their marriage partners.

If money is stopping you from going out with your sweetheart, remember, you can’t afford not to.  Suggestions on low cost dates:

Find a couple to swap babysitting with

Go to the gym together

Go on a walk on the beach and talk, throw a Frisbee or football

Pack a picnic and go to a local park

Happy Valentine’s week, hope you made it one to remember when.

What are some of your favorite pre-children memories/dates?

Audition Update (to read part 1, click here)….Well, my son auditioned and I was proud that he had the courage to be on stage with 97 other K-8th graders. After auditioning, he was cast.  However, the friends who told us about the play and were there with us did not make it. It was a bitter sweet situation which could have turned ugly. It is moments like this during which parenting skills are tested. My friend is a sweetheart and handled it better than anyone I knew. She was so excited for my son and proud of hers, as I was also. In fact, they came to the show in support which is one of the sweetest tokens of friendship and loyalty.

Last week was a long week as we traveled to Morehead City daily from 3-7 pm. My son loved every minute of it. What surprised me is how much my 10 year old enjoyed it. She didn’t audition, but probably should have as she had memorized the whole play and every dance move. She wanted to watch every rehearsal and learned just as much. Secretly I was glad that this was my son’s event. Although I love them both and support them both, I think it is important to have their own moments to shine.

My son learned many skills by working with a community production. He learned theater skills, cooperation, listening skills, responsibility-for his part, his costume & messages sent home. He learned that being a part is important no matter how small or how large to put a production on. He learned time management. He learned self control as this was what would be let go if he lost his temper. He wanted the play so badly it was motivating him all week.

The greatest part of being in a play is the success he saw as the audience got involved and clapped and laughed at parts in the play.  It was also great to see how his self esteem was boosted. I learned, as a mother, to step back and allow others to teach and guide. I watched. I learned. I was impressed by how well the production was after only 5 days of rehearsal.  It made me grateful for a community and school district who sponsored a non-profit group to come in who are nationally known. It was a great opportunity that I’m grateful for my son having had a chance to be in.

Are your children budding actors/actresses?  do they participate in local theater workshops or groups?

I have been lucky to this point. The friends Jake and Sam have had in school or in sports have all been pretty good kids. For the most part they have had manners and were kind to those around them. This year I can’t say the same for one of the kids Jake has be-friended. I don’t know the child very well but I do know he has problems in school and his behavior is not anything I want Jake to emulate.

I never want to be a parent who tells their child who to be friends with. My hope is that the values, ideals and character I build in Jake and Sam will lead them to be surround themselves with the right kind of people. We work hard to talk about behaving in school, respecting adults and working hard to reach their goals. Since the boys are only 6 and 8, I just wonder if they are too young to realize when someone around them is not good for them.

We often watch Super Nanny on TV and the boys are horrified by what they see. There are kids hitting their parents…talking back to them…they are out of control. The boys love to talk about how crazy those kids are and how they can’t believe what they are doing. I see it as a chance to teach the kids what NOT to do, but I know that the boys will meet kids just like that and they just might like them.

I don’t plan to tell Jake he can’t be friends with this boy, but as I have done to this point, I will continue to point out that his behavior is not alright and never will be…for him OR Jake.

Have your kids had friends you did not approve of? What did you do?