We have all heard that boys will be boys or that siblings are just meant to bicker, but as I shared in an earlier post, I have reached my limit with the bickering. I had to lay down the law with Jake and Sam to put an end to the constant arguing. For the time being….it seems to have worked.

Picture of Brotherly Love

I used to step in and stop the boys when the arguing went on and on but that was all I would do. I would tell them that it was wrong and that they needed to work to be more kind to each other. Without fail, they would stop for 10 minutes and then start again. It seemed they were arguing more than they weren’t and it was wearing on me. I wanted them to show more love and care toward one another so I had to make a change.

I told the boys that from now on, their arguing would be a punishable offense just like back talk or any other action that earned them a time out. They were put on notice that when they carried on and would not drop it with each other, they would be punished. It may mean 15 times outs a day, but my hope is that it will make them realize that they actually do like spending time with each other and that it is not worth the energy they expend to constantly go at each other.

For the past few days, things have been better. I think just the threat of a time out has done the trick for now. They still argue from time to time but it is not ALL the time….as I type this they are building a fort together and I only hear happiness I’ll keep you posted on how things go once more time goes by……..

Do your kids bicker often? What do you do when it starts?

As some of you may know, I am a teacher. I have taught high school, middle school and currently…pre school. In that time I have worked with many kids at all age levels. No matter what age the child, something my father told me (and research backs up) sticks in my head. When it comes to your children…what you have at 5 years old is what you are going to have.

Now some might call this a negative and defeatist point of view….that a person cannot change after 5 years of age. From my experience, I can tell you that sadly, it is all too true without some great intervention. What saddens me is that so many parents do not seem to understand this point. I have seen three year olds who hit (and have quite the attitude when you tell them to apologize), 13 year olds who have no issue ignoring a teacher’s direction and five year olds who do not know the difference between a letter and a number. In each of these cases it is fairly certain that they have parents who either don’t care to do any better or don’t have the knowledge to do better. Either way, they are creating children who will have behavior issues and academic issues in school…never mind in their adults lives.

It is HARD work raising a child. There is no time to be lazy or tired…it is 24/7 if you do it right. All parents make mistakes but too many parents take the easy way out. They allow their toddlers and pre schoolers to dictate too much, they don’t take the time to read to their children because they are too busy or they expect school to do it all for them. I know that most parents think their child is perfect, but more need to take a step back and make sure they are doing all they need to so that same child can lead a productive life free of stress down the road.

What do you think? Do you feel most parents work as hard as they should at parenting?

“The only thing constant is change” is my mantra. It is my life. It is the military. It is motherhood.  It is the ability to adapt to unforeseen circumstances with a good attitude.  It is the reality that life is constantly evolving & changing.  I think as humans we tend to be creatures of habit and we resist that urge to have change.  However, as a mother I’m learning that I have to adapt and teach my children through my example. We had planned family time around this weekend as we were supposed to have a 4 day weekend. With weather make-ups, we no longer have those days off. My husband had taken leave…and now has canceled it. Our children were excited for the unannounced adventure our family was to take. Alas, it may be a day trip to Raleigh.

We weren’t going anywhere spectacular on a limited budget, but we do recognize the need for family escapes and fun. When you stay home you often get bombarded with family projects, the stress that is here, etc.  Sometimes escaping for a few days can rejuvenate us all enough to realize what we have in our little family unit and with our home. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I have noticed that  my tween, especially, does not deal with change very well.  It throws her off and I know I have mentioned this in other blogs, but se feels like we have lied to her if plans have changed. She feels like we don’t do what we say. These are heavy allegations that my husband and I don’t take lightly to. This is not what we want our children thinking or believing. However, the reasons are legitimate…school was canceled due to weather and they had those days off just in a similarly unplanned manner.

So, we continue to compromise, think before speaking and be cautious about letting any “plans” vocalized within ear shot of our children.

How do you handle changes in plans with your tweens, do they “meltdown” or do they understand?

I love my boys more than anything and I love the people they are. Sam likes to dance and play with his stuffed animals. Jake likes to play legos and war. Both boys are polite with good manners and they do well in school. For all of these wonderful qualities there is one quality I have trouble categorizing as good or bad……Jake’s unending need to TALK!

My chatty boy

Jake and I had 17 months to ourselves before Sam came along. In that time we spent our days together…..out to lunch, shopping or just hanging around the house. No matter where we were or what we were doing…I was talking to him. I ignored the stares as I chatted with my 4 month old at lunch or asked him what brand of coffee to buy at the store when he was less than a year old. It did not matter to me that he could not answer me back…I just loved talking to him. Well…..I think it paid off in a BIG way.

Jake talks non-stop…all day…every day. Most of the time I can appreciate it and love that he wants to share so much or is so curious about things. There are times, however, I just want some silence. After a stressful day at work or while trying to get some blogging done (for example), it can put me over the top when he interrupts for the 30th time. So you see my dilemma……it seems I need to take the good with the bad. A child with a great vocabulary who uses it who feels free to talk with me about anything (any time!) but one who can also drive me nuts from time to time…I suppose it could be worse.

Do you have a talkative Tween?

From previous posts you may know that my youngest son Sam is not a morning person. 7AM comes much too early for him and getting ready for school is last on his list of things he wants to do. On the other end of the day…he does not think much of bed time either. If he could stay up until midnight he would. Well, he will be 7 this year and as I have said to him….enough is enough!

Someone needs to tell Sam he is not this old anymore!

Neither of these traits were ever cute, but I always thought he would outgrow them. I never dreamed that he would still be whining each morning when told to eat his breakfast or that he would still come out of his room 5 times AFTER being tucked in. At some point I just figured it would end, but it appears I was very wrong.

I have tried reasoning, ignoring and yelling…no approach seems to do the trick. I think I may just have to accept that he is a night person and mornings will always be rough for him. I have to hold onto hope that at 15 he won’t still be rolling around on the floor at 7:30 AM saying he hates getting dressed

I assume at some point he will find a way to still not like the morning routine and heading to bed at a decent hour, but contain himself and just push through it. Until that day…don’t call me around 7:30 AM or 7:30 PM…..it is not pretty here then.

Do you have a tween who still acts like a much younger child sometimes?