I recently had to go in for a sleep study.  Mainly to rule out some health issues.  Although I hesitated at the thought because, really, do moms ever feel completely rested?!  I thought motherhood is synonymous with fatigue.  I mean sleep has become highly overrated.  It’s not like it was what I remembered it.  During sleep studies they also ask questions about my children and what type of sleepers they are.  Honestly, none of us sleep well.  I have a family of snorers, sleep talkers and walkers.

I recently read an article that stated 60% of American children don’t get enough sleep.  Another study cited cellphones, Facebook, and video games were to blame.  Our elementary age children need 9-12 hours of sleep.  Experts say that sleep deprivation at any age can impair metabolism, immune functions, and motor skills, increase stress hormones, and cripple sugar metabolism.

So, maybe my lack of sleep accounts for my few extra pounds, poor health, high stress level and slow responses.  To think I attributed that to my age and motherhood.     I guess the answer is simple….my family all needs more sleep.  Sleep is important and I need to ensure we have good sleep habits, cause if “momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”

Signs of sleep deprivation:

* Can’t fall asleep within 15-20 minutes of going to bed

* Has a hard time waking in the morning

* Has trouble remaining alert and active during the daytime

Establishing good sleep habits is imperative for the healthy development of children. The National Heart, Lung, Blood Institute offers the following tips for parents to help get their kids to bed:

• Set a regular time for bed each night and stick to it.
• Establish a relaxing bedtime routine, such as giving your child a warm bath or reading him or her a story.
• Avoid giving children a big meal close to bedtime, and no caffeine within six hours of sleep.
• Make after-dinner playtime relaxing; too much exercise close to bedtime can keep children awake.
• Keep the noise level down and the bedroom dark. If some light is necessary, use a small nightlight.

Do you get enough sleep your body needs?  How about your children?  Any tips to get higher rate sleep?

From previous posts you may know that my youngest son Sam is not a morning person. 7AM comes much too early for him and getting ready for school is last on his list of things he wants to do. On the other end of the day…he does not think much of bed time either. If he could stay up until midnight he would. Well, he will be 7 this year and as I have said to him….enough is enough!

Someone needs to tell Sam he is not this old anymore!

Neither of these traits were ever cute, but I always thought he would outgrow them. I never dreamed that he would still be whining each morning when told to eat his breakfast or that he would still come out of his room 5 times AFTER being tucked in. At some point I just figured it would end, but it appears I was very wrong.

I have tried reasoning, ignoring and yelling…no approach seems to do the trick. I think I may just have to accept that he is a night person and mornings will always be rough for him. I have to hold onto hope that at 15 he won’t still be rolling around on the floor at 7:30 AM saying he hates getting dressed

I assume at some point he will find a way to still not like the morning routine and heading to bed at a decent hour, but contain himself and just push through it. Until that day…don’t call me around 7:30 AM or 7:30 PM…..it is not pretty here then.

Do you have a tween who still acts like a much younger child sometimes?

I knew the day was coming. My tween recently asked, “What’s wrong with me?  Why do I have to take medication?”

ADHD runs in my family.  In fact, both my husband and I have it.  We were not treated until adulthood.  We both had different types and challenges but can remember feeling a little different and not knowing why.  We both achieved academically by hyper focusing, but it often took more time and effort for us, over the average kid.

I started seeing more issues arise when I was in college.  My husband saw them after responsibilities kept piling on and he had too much to focus on.  My daughter showed signs around Kindergarten but was treated with behavioral therapy initial, then later with medications.

Well, the time has come. She asked so we sat down and told her more specifics about the disorder and used examples of what she does that are symptoms of ADHD.  Since we give her “med vacations” she has started seeing and recognizing the difference in her ability to focus and achieve.  She is in the gifted program but has had some learning disabilities also associated with her ADHD.

Being honest with your tween and open about health issues creates trust and a foundation to get the most help for them before it is too late.  Also, finding hobbies or “escapes” that are positive help their self esteem, builds confidence and fosters time management.

This article written for O’Healthy describes the different types of ADHD.  Most kids can function until about the third grade before starting to show signs of needing intervention.  Many parents don’t want to think that their child needs help or medication.  It is a chemical imbalance of the brain and it can be genetic.

Much focus is given to the negatives of ADHD, but there are many positive characteristics as listed by Pete Quily.  The full list is found here.

• Ability to find alternate paths to overcome obstacles
• Always willing to help others
• Ambitious – you want to be everything when “you grow up”
• Artistic
• Being able to see the big picture
• Being able to see the patterns in the chaos.
• Being intuitive towards others’ difficulties
• Broad focus – can see more, notice things more
• Can create order from chaos
• Can do many projects at once
• Can make people feel they are heard
• Can see the big picture
• Can talk about several things at one time
• Can think on my feet
• Comfortable talking in front of groups
• Comfortable with change and chaos
• Compassion for others and for themselves
• Conceptualizes well
• Creative writing
• Creative – musical, artistic, “dramatic”
• Good in a crisis
• Good at customer relations
• Dedicated
• Detail-oriented
• Determined to gain more control
• Eager to make friends
• Eager to try new things
• Empathetic, sensitive
• Energetic
• Entrepreneurial
• Good at motivating self and others
• Good at multitasking
• Good at problem solving
• Good at understanding others/mind reading – empathetic
• Good conversationalist
• Good delegator and good at organizing others
• Good in emergency situations
• Good listener

When dealing with tween health issues, what is your philosophy?

With the change of season, comes many changes in health, germs and sharing amongst family members.  We have discovered that attending many functions can spread germs and create illnesses that ultimately will affect the whole family.  With the kids home for the holidays it is still important to remember to wash your hands, cover your mouth when sneezing or coughing, and throw away used tissues.  Disinfect areas that have been contaminated with germs.  Be careful not to rush back into activities to avoid boredom or being “stuck in.”

A child can still be a carrier to illness after symptoms subside, as evidence in families where one is sick and then another member of the family gets sick a few days later.  As annoying as it is, play it smart and stay inside instead of sharing your germs.

The CDC has some great tips on holiday health issues.  Doctors recommend keeping your child away from public areas or group settings when a child has had a fever or diarrhea or a runny nose with yellow mucus in the past 72 hours.  Of course there are other symptoms such as coughs, chills, abnormal activity level.  However, fevers and diarrhea are active germ carriers and can cause the spread of a virus.

My tween came down with something the last day of school but didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to miss out on the parties.  The result: a weekend inside, and my husband catching whatever it was.  My husband’s trick to knowing if the kids are really sick is asking, “do you want….(whatever their favorite food is)?”  If they respond yes, they aren’t usually sick, if they decline they usually have come down with something.

The best advice is to play it smart.  Get seen by your doctor and plan on a week inside just in case it runs it’s course through the family.  Many health things going around this season are viral and do not have medications.  It’s a waiting period.  Take advantage of your pajama family time and stay inside!  Catch up on your sleep and use the holiday break not only as a vacation but to catch up on health appointments.

Any health advice for this holiday season?

With the holiday season quickly approaching, we are reminded that they aren’t always happy for some who find themselves alone, abandoned or separated with distance from loved ones.  Are tweens exempt from the “blues?”  Absolutely not!  We need to look for the signs and be ready to listen, love and be aware!

Tweens are not exempt from the seasonal blues.  Especially when they have divorced parents, a parent serving and deployed in the military, or have had a parent or close person to them pass away.  The symptoms are the same for adults, however, the ability to handle the emotions and feelings may be different as it may be hard to communicate or peg point that’s where it’s coming from.

What are some symptoms for Seasonal Depression to be looking for:

1. Increase in headaches

2.  Too much or too little sleep

3.  Weight loss or gain

4.  Agitation, guilt, or an inability to concentrate

The warning signs for Stress include:

1. Pounding heart

2. Dryness in the mouth or throat

3.  Nervous tics, fatigue, loss of or excessive appetite

4.  Feeling an urge to cry, or increased irritability, restlessness, or depression.

So, this holiday season, be aware of your own emotions and also for your tweens.  Be on the lookout for signs and symptoms of possible problems.  Simplify.  Relax.  Keep a schedule, but try not to overschedule.  If you do have a child visiting another parent for the holidays, keep it upbeat and civil for the child’s sake.  No child/tween wants to upset a parent.  If you have a child with a deployed parent, take advantage of the programs the military offers, volunteer, send packages or cards to the troops and try to have some kid of communication.  If they get really bad or are refusing to talk, remember to seek medical and or professional help.

What have you found to be beneficial when dealing with emotional or moody tweens?