Every now and then, parents and tweens and kids may need a mental health day.  A day to stay in their pajamas, a day to get a little extra attention, time to create and process in an unstructured way.  I call these, “mental health days.”  I know that educators or administrators may think I’m crazy for allowing a child to stay home for no apparent reason and that it is crazy or neglectful.  However, mental health is just as important as physical health.  We are in the season of sickness, viruses being spread, flu, the all around “icky’s, ” so we have to be careful not to spread and share germs, but a negative mental health can be spread too.

I have noticed with my children, and I include my husband in this list, that when they feel like I haven’t been able to give them enough quality attention and time, that they become “sick.”  It’s an illness that carries no apparent symptoms that require immediate medical attention.  The symptoms are grumpy, tired, negative self-talk, pity parties, asking for attention the way of favorite foods, clingy and needy.   The problem is learning how to space their timing because I can’t give them all what they need at the same time.

This past weekend, I had reached a mental health day and thankfully, my husband took the troops and let me sneak away to be idle in my thoughts, productive in errands, and to enjoy the silence of a vehicle that was a welcome sound.  To our tweens and children, they may not know that the symptoms they are experiencing are normal and sometimes is our bodies way of telling us to slow down, process, and catch up.  I feel as a parent I need to let me kids experience that occasional rejuvenation that a mental health day can bring.

What are some things that you do as a mother for your own mental health?

My tween has problems “turning her brain off”  and it is becoming increasingly more important to help her get the sleep her body desperately needs.  Her doctor recently recommended starting her on melatonin to help her sleep at night.  I’m one of these overprotective, neurotic moms that needs to research EVERYTHING before I can dive in and start something.  Like everything, doctors debate, research isn’t concrete enough to convince and there is a hesitation to try something new.  What to do?!

In the Child Health Monitor magazine they stated, “Sleep disturbance is common in childhood, and is particularly problematic in children with neurological problems such as learning difficulties, cerebral palsy, autism spectrum disorders and epilepsy, as well as children with visual impairment (partial or complete). This is probably because these children have difficulty recognizing and attuning their sleep cycle to the outside world’s sleep-wake cycle.”  My tween has a visual/auditory processing disorder.  Due to some issues at birth she was later found to have some minor developmental delays neurologically.  We first thought it was related to a different health issue.  Yet, once she had surgery the problems did not resolve.  Although she is in the gifted classes, she works very hard for her accomplishments, for which we are very proud of her dedication and self perseverance.

The Child Health Monitor described how melatonin works, “Melatonin, a hormone produced by the pineal gland in the brain, is increasingly being used to treat sleep disturbance in children. Melatonin is most commonly used for jet lag, but claims have been made that it also promotes general health and protects against the effects of aging. Melatonin helps regulate the body’s sleep-wake cycle and its production is determined by light and dark. When darkness falls, the pineal gland produces more melatonin, promoting sleep and regulating the body’s sleep-wake cycle with the outside world. Because of its use in promoting sleep, melatonin is increasingly used in the treatment of sleep disturbance in children. However, this particular use of the drug has been studied very little and in fact, melatonin is not licensed as a drug in most countries.”

Another physician Andrew Weil said, “To find out about the safety of using melatonin as a sleep aid for children, I consulted two experts: Rubin Naiman, Ph.D., a sleep and dream specialist and clinical assistant professor of medicine with the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona, and George C. Brainard, a melatonin expert at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia.

Dr. Naiman told me that children’s brains produce significant amounts of melatonin. Because of this, and since the effects of extra melatonin on development are unknown, sleep specialists have cautioned against using it with kids. Dr. Naiman noted that some preliminary data suggests that melatonin may be effective in helping developmentally delayed children, especially autistic kids, with sleep problems, but he said the essential question to explore in your son’s case is why he is having trouble sleeping. Addressing the underlying contributors is central to any long-term strategy.

Dr. Brainard said that taking melatonin supplements is safe when used for short periods of time, but for both adolescents and adults, the safety of taking them at higher doses for months or years is unclear. He also noted that when prescribed to children, melatonin has been effective and rarely associated with side effects (which can include seizures, more frequent seizures in kids with a history of them, hyperactivity, agitation, behavioral changes, worsening sleep patterns, nightmares and constipation).”

What’s your opinion?  Would you try it?

Remember when…….I posted about re-decorating my tweens room?  Well, it is finally done!

My tween boy and daughter share a room.  They do this because the baby needs her own room so MOM can sleep through the night!  So, I had the challenge to create a bedroom that would be comfortable for both a boy AND a girl.

I chose to do this bedroom a little more grown up then previous rooms they have had.  There was a bit of a reason I did this!  I really wanted them to learn how to take care of their things!  When their room was in transition , it was a mess all the time!  They didn’t have a source of organization and everything just felt crazy in there.  They would jump on the beds, slide down their mattresses…they loved it!  Trust me, I think sliding down mattresses is BRILLIANT and loads of fun, but there is also a place for that!  Now, I want them to learn the importance of making their bed everyday.  I want them to feel how great it is when there is a specific place for EVERYTHING!  I want them to walk in their room after school and feel happy and comfortable.  I can already see the change in how they treat their room!

So, a new life has begun for my tween!   He has a bit of masculine and feminine in his room.  He has his own light that he finds to be quite magical.  He enjoys reading in bed at night.  He is putting his clothes away and treating his things with respect!

This room change has been a positive thing and we worked REALLY HARD to make it this way!  I’m pretty sure I don’t want to see a can of paint for a REALLY LONG TIME!!!

I don’t know if all tweens are like this, but my tween hates going to bed.  He won’t take a nap to save his life and is usually up pretty early.  He just has this zest for life and doesn’t want to miss a minute of it!

Since school has started, we are trying to be pretty strict with an early bedtime.  During the summer we are much more relaxed. I’m not talking about a late bedtime every night, I’m just not such a drill sargent about getting to bed right on time.

One thing I have learned is that things fall apart if my tween doesn’t get some sleep.  All of a sudden these really minor things or situations turn into all out DRAMA!!  I’m talking tears and other crazy behaviors.  He is a really great, happy kid….unless he is tired.  So, my solution to this is to just get him all the sleep he needs and realize if we let him stay up late…there just might be a meltdown on the horizon.

In my research, I found that tweens need at least nine hours of sleep a night.   I found peace in this once I did the math and found my tween is getting on average, about ten hours of sleep a night.

Here are a few other tips I found to help out your tween with their sleep:

1. Quit Caffeine

2. Establish a Transition (read a book, allow them to relax and have downtime before bed)

3. Stop Snacking

4. Kill the Light

5. Slow Down (re-think your schedule, maybe your tween is just too busy)

6. Children, Sleep and Stress – (your tween could quite possibly be stressed, check in and see how they are doing).

There are a few tips and tricks for you.  Good luck and get that tween of yours sleeping like a baby!!

What are some things you do to be sure your tween get adequate amount of sleep?

My classroom is ready, uniforms are purchased and hanging in the closet, school supplies have been delivered to teachers, lunch box items are in the fridge and I am really not ready to get up at 6:30 everyday School starts for the boys and I this week. Even with the early start, I am ready to roll and so are the boys. We are looking forward to:

• Seeing old friends
• Making new friends
• Playing on the playground
• Cooler Weather
• Flag Football Games
• Dunkin Donuts stops before school
• After school clubs
• Class holiday parties
• Class Birthday parties
• Any school parties!
• Being thankful for another year to learn and grow and have lots of fun

We may whine a bit that first morning (or two:)) and we may miss being able to go out to lunch on a Tuesday at 11 or just hanging out at the pool, but we know that when June rolls around we will get those chances again. For now, we are all excited and eager to begin a new school year together.

How did your first days go? Are you settled in yet to the school year rhythm?