Just like this blog has created a greater sense of community with MomTalk, we need to pull together to get the changes we would all like to see and benefit from.  I recently drove my children out to Kenansville to go to this AMAZING park.  It’s a drive, but that’s what I felt like.  However, we have been here for almost 5 years and heard rumors of a Children’s Museum, parents saying they wished Jacksonville had many more options for kids, families and activities. We have the population. There are plenty of places to build.  It comes down to community support and awareness and advocacy.

If you are like me, you may have thought about these things, but it’s the next steps of action that we tend to drop.  Let’s be honest, being a parent (all of us working whether inside or outside the home) takes a lot of energy.   We want these things, but financially we can’t do it.  Then logically most of us wouldn’t know where to begin.  How do you make a difference?  A few calls.  Petitions.  Getting involved.  Volunteer.  Be aware of city issues.  Go to town meetings.  Many of us are military and may not feel like making a difference here, but many of us are not and may settle here and any improvements will benefit all of us.

When I took my children to the park, we read the sign of all the people that made it possible for the park.  Land was donated, skills were donated, supplies were donated.  It was a community effort.  When villagers come together it makes it a village, no matter how large or small.  It made me start thinking about a few things and how I could help.  There is a committee of people who have been trying to get a children’s museum here in Jacksonville.  I think I will investigate.:)

What would you like to see in your “ideal” Jacksonville?  Have you gotten involved in making or seeing changes?

I know I have blogged about hobbies before.  I have blogged about my daughter dancing before. I have also blogged about our Mother/Daughter Book Club before.  What I haven’t touched on is discovering our passion.  This weekend we had our monthly Book Club.  The hostess had picked a book about horses and arranged for us to go visit where she takes riding lessons.  A normally socially reserved child came to life sharing what she has learned about horses.  It was obvious, she was passionate about horses.   My daughter has been blessed with great friends, many of whom are passionate about certain activities.  It is that passion that leads to motivation in doing well in school so they can maintain their extracurricular.

How does one find what they are passionate about?  We have always let our children decide an activity to try.  Sometimes activities need to change.  Sometimes the keep with something for a while, sometimes just a little while. We try not to push or “project” our own dreams or wishes upon them.  We want our children to want to do something or try something.  By exposing them to many activities they are able to narrow down what they truly enjoy.

I was taking my babysitter’s older sister home recently and she said, “I wish I had stuck with one activity, I did so many things that I don’t feel like I’m good at any one thing.”  It caught me off-guard.  I don’t like regrets and it sadden me to see regret in a 16 yr old.  So far, my daughter has many interests but nothing that she is passionate about.  She is only 10 and we continue to encourage her interests.  Perhaps it’s the mommy desire to know what she really is passionate about.  Or perhaps she will be more like I was…into a lot of things, learned a lot, but my passion was with life and people more than one particular activity.

Have your children shown a strong preference to one activity?  Do you share your own interests with your children?

Is it just me or are boys harder on clothes?  I recently realized that a lot of my Kindergarten son’s pants have holes in the knees.  Between how fast kids grow, how hard they are on their clothes and the economy, we are re-evaluating thrift.  As parents, we all want our children to look nice.  We all have limited time to shop or even if we have unlimited time to shop, there is a little thing called budget. We all want what is best for our children. I know my parents did several things when we were younger to teach the value of frugality and thrift.  I’ll also admit that I didn’t readily start couponing or thrift store shopping until a few years ago and I am still somewhat of a discriminating shopper.  However, by making this part of our family’s pattern we are teaching invaluable skills to our children.

By taking our children to regular stores and showing them prices of clothing, even on sale, they have learned how much greater a deal is at the Bag Sales at thrift stores.  For $6 you fill a brown paper bag of clothes/shoes.  With a little patience, planning and picking, you can outfit your growing children on a dime.  The best part is not caring as much when your child stains a shirt or puts holes in their knees or are too hard on their clothes.  There are many people who would NEVER be caught dead in a thrift store or who have negative stereotypes.  These same people tend to buy their children too many clothes (mostly name brands) and often donate them new with tags or after being worn once.

My children have often received compliments on their clothing from others and now readily share their tips.  The compliments have given them confidence and reassurance that it doesn’t matter where you buy your clothes, as long as you present yourself well and groomed.  My daughter went from a thrift store snob to looking forward to monthly mommy/daughter dates at the bag sale.  We comb the racks for familiar brands, things new with tags, or gently used clothing that catches the eye.  We project the next size needed.  By having our kids help with the laundry and putting clothes away, they are also aware of what they need more so than myself at times.  So, when my son put holes in yet another pair of jeans this week, I was glad I finally found a way of saving money on that little necessity of clothing our children without the stress of breaking the bank.

What are some money saving tips have you used with your growing family?

Do you or your child suffer from the winter blues?  It is actually a seasonal affective disorder related to depression that occurs in the winter time due to shorter days, the cold and the stress of after holidays.  It is important to recognize the signs in yourself or your child and seek help if needed.  Also, remember if you the parent is suffering it can trickle down to your kids and impact them, so get help!  There are many fun ways we have found to beat the blues or the blahs!

Here are some indoor activities that can bring you together without making you lose your mind….

1.  Get crafty- get some projects done you have wanted to and involve your children, it’s a great time to teach life skills while getting projects done

2.  Write Letters- get those thank you cards written (hint to myself)

3. Play store- it teaches math, could organize your pantry and is fun!

4.  Play games and do puzzles, when’s the last time you took the time to play together in good old fashion fun

5.  Draw to Music, Dance to Music, Sing to Music

or…

Get out of the house and get busy….activity is good for beating the blues.  Jacksonville now has Jump N Jax, an indoor facility with bounce houses; go bowling; go for a walk; join a gym, enroll your child in gymnastics, dance or other activity.  Being cooped up in the house isn’t always ideal, especially when dealing with the blues.

The American Academy of Pediatrics states, “People with SAD may crave comfort foods, including simple carbs such as pasta, breads, and sugar. With excess unhealthy calories and a lack of fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, fatigue often sets in. They may become depressed and irritable. Eventually, they are no longer able to maintain their regular lifestyle. They may withdrawal socially and no longer enjoy things that used to be fun. It’s as if a person’s batteries have just run down. For parents, SAD can obviously have a sharp impact on the ability to be an effective parent.

Children and adolescents can also suffer these symptoms. They may experience feelings of low self-worth and hopelessness. Children with depression struggle to concentrate on their schoolwork. Their grades may drop, worsening feelings of low self-esteem. Symptoms that last more than two weeks are cause for concern.”  Since there has been no known study on the effects of SAD in children or treatments, parents do need to be more mindful of their children’s behaviors.

How do you beat the blues during the winter months?  Do you think children suffer from the blues in winter?

I remember being pregnant for the first time and finding out I was having a girl.  All I knew was that a baby was a baby, could there really be a difference?.  As time went on, girl was all I knew.  What my daughter did was what all children did, right?  Wrong. Almost five years later we had a son.  Again, people would ask if I was nervous about having a boy.  Why should I be? Well, to be honest I was, my biggest fear was how am I supposed to potty train him like a boy?  Silly I know but the differences between children is greater than anatomy.

Without getting scientific, I am going to state my own mom perspective.  I believe all children are equally different.  Some are “pre-wired” while other traits are learned environmentally.  Yes, the ole’ nature vs. nurture.  I have discovered that both children will do what is asked, but yield very different results. For example,  if I ask my son, who is in Kindergarten, to color certain items a color, he does it.  Albeit, he scribbles to quickly complete the assigned task and is ready for another task within second.  However, my daughter will take her time and meticulously color and it seems like a tortuous amount of time.  When I ask my son to clean, he stands there, evaluates the task and delegates to his sisters what he thinks needs to be done. (Did I mention he usually delegates the whole task back to someone else?) If I ask my daughter to do the same thing, she does it.  Both children respond differently emotionally, educationally and physically to stimuli.  Is there a difference, you bet!

I found this article very informative about gender differences and explaining the differences that come with gender vs. the scientific reasons based on the amount of chemicals in our brain development.  This doctors article explains some things in a way I never considered.  Either way, it is up to us a parents to expose our children to tasks normally associated with both genders to give them experience, opportunities and skills.

Do you think there is a significant difference between boys and girls?  Why or why not?