I posted last week about my oldest, Jake, and his new found Tweendom. He has been pushing his limits lately with a lot of talking back and too much arguing for his own good. It has been a really rough week, but I am hopeful that he is starting to see the light and that soon we can get back on better terms.

I took some time this weekend to spend one on one with Jake. I felt like we really needed it after constant time outs, too much yelling and a general depressing mood around the house. We were in a funk and I wanted to get out of it as quickly as I could. After a couple of hours together with pleasant conversation I feel re-energized and like we may have turned a page….maybe.

I am not naive…I know that Jake is only 7 and this is all part of growing up. I also know that this past week was no fun and I would prefer if we did not string together that many days in a row again of discipline problems. My game plan is

• Give him a warning each time he starts to talk back….a “why don’ t you try that again” moment
• If he persists, he is disciplined with a time out or something taken away..I don’t ever want to let it slide
• Catch him being good…if he stops himself from being argumentative I need to recognize that..it is so important that they are cat being good sometimes
• Spend one on one time with him each day..even if only 10 minutes
• Do all I can to explain things to him and remind him how much I love him

We’ll see how my plan works To Be Continued……

I am lucky enough to say that my sisters are my best friends!!  They are the girls who know me better then anyone else in the whole world and love me unconditionally!

I recently watched my little sister married and sobbed like a baby.  Why did I do that?  Because I love her beyond words and care for her so deeply!!

I look at my own children and hope and pray that someday they will also have such a loving relationship.  There is power in a family and between siblings! 

Relationships aren’t always easy, especially in a family.  I watch my two oldest argue and get bugged with one another.  I know this is inevitable, but I also know that as a mother I need to be doing all that is in my power to help them build a solid and loving relationship.

Life gets so busy sometimes that I forget and see them getting frustrated with one another.  That is when I remind myself that alot of this other stuff in my life isn’t as important as helping them find happiness in their family.

Here are a few things I have learned over the years to help foster a loving relationship between my children.

- Create fun activities to do together as a family that they will all enjoy.

-If they are being super sweet to each other at night, I don’t stop them to go to bed, I let them enjoy every minute of building happy memories with each other.

-Try to be sensitive to their feelings, take them aside and talk things through with them to understand why they are frustrated and how we can help solve an argument without yelling.

-Praise them when they show kindness to each other, let them know how happy it makes us (their parents) and God to see them being kind to one another.

What are some things you have learned along the way in fostering solid relationships between your children?

Who would ever think that two sisters would war over Barbie???  Well, believe it. This seems to be an everyday thing lately. 

“No,the Barbie with the pink dress is mine .”

“No,I had her first!”

These are the battle cries I hear in my home. 

Needless to say, as a result I’ve been looking for some practial tips to bring some tranquility back to the house.  I found 13 tips that are not only effective, but practical and easy to follow.  You can view the whole list at:  http://www.newsforparents.org/expert_kids_fighting.html

Here are the main points, taken directly from the above website:

Step 1: Look for patterns

Step 2: Observe your own behavior

Step 3: Look for root causes

Step 4: Talk to each child privately

Step 5: Take responsibility for your role

Step 6: Start spending “sacred time” with each kid

Step 7: Have family meetings

Step 8: Come up with a plan of action to together

Step 9: Teach your kids how to manage anger and work out conflicts

Step 10: Reinforce good behavior

Step 11: Get your kids to reflect on what worked

Step 12: Be prepared for some backsliding and don’t consider it a major set-back

Step 13: Never get too busy to say “I love you” and give hugs

Using these steps, I’ve come to realize that most fights occur in my house when the girls have not had enough alone time, which makes the above tip, providing sacred time for each child, a very important principle in my family.  Moreover, I had to step up and be the bad guy (hey what’s new?)  Fine, nobody’s going to play with Barbie, period.  I was suprised at how quickly the application of these principles began to effect the girls’ fighting.  There was an almost immediate reduction!!! 

Anyone else facing Barbie battles? Please share your suggestions, because I’d love to hear them!  Anything that helps you keep the peace, well,  just keep order between the natives would be great. Click the “reply” button below.