Bullying has been making headlines in the news for sometime, but there were some extreme cases that were made public last year. Many parents may be concerned about bullying, especially as children head back to school. Here are some tips on identifying bullying & helping your child deal with a bully.
Physical or emotional differences make children targets for bullies. Being a bully or a victim of a bully puts children at risk for engaging in violent behaviors, such as frequent fighting and carrying a weapon, according to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.
Bullying comes in different forms. It is commonly thought of as an actual or threatened act of physical violence. But name calling, spreading rumors, unrelenting teasing, and deliberately excluding a child from an activity can be other forms of bullying. Racial slurs, mocking cultural traditions, and unwanted physical contact are bullying.
Signs your child is being bullied may be physical injuries, inventing reasons to avoid going to school, changing routines or routes to school, and the sudden disappearance of belongings.
How should you react when your children have a close encounter with a bully?
The worst thing you can do, experts say, is tell them to learn karate, carry a concealed weapon, or go back and beat up the bully. Responding to a bully with aggression simply perpetuates the cycle of violence and fighting. It doesn’t solve the problem because the bully gets the satisfaction of seeing the victim upset and one or both children is likely to get hurt.
A better solution — requiring more parental support and involvement – is to try to resolve conflicts verbally instead of physically.
Of course, addressing a bully calmly may not have an immediate effect on his or her behavior, admits Myrna B. Shure, Ph.D., author of Raising a Thinking Child: Help Your Young Child to Resolve Everyday Conflicts and Get Along with Others. But, says Dr. Shure, “if a bully is spoken to nicely and calmly, it may be a whole different way of talking that he or she has never heard before.”
Click here for a list of specific tips for helping your child deal with a bully.
I am determined to do whatever it takes to make that first week back as stress-free as I can…for them AND for me.
