Last week celebrated another report card.  It also marked an early spring as Phil did not see his shadow! In my books, there is plenty to celebrate! We do not pay our children for grades. We do not pay them for chores.  However, we do like to do spontaneous celebrations of them. This includes theme nights, favorite foods, family fun, favorite game, etc. The best part about it….you never know when Mom is going to surprise you with a celebration, hence, our family motto, every day’s a party!

Celebrating doesn’t take a lot of preparation, money or decor. It takes good ole’ fashion time. I’m realizing how much my children have come to value that time with family. They value the surprises and celebrations. It encourages us to be our best self. It encourages cooperation, teamwork and being each other’s cheerleaders. Family is a reason to celebrate in itself. Perhaps I’m getting old and more sentimental, but I look at my almost 11 year old and I realize that she has less time at home now than not. I look at my younger two and realize that time is too precious to waste wishing I would have. It’s time to do. Do the things I think about and not have regrets.

As we looked at the comments about our children on their report cards, of course we were proud at their grades, but more importantly we are proud about the great people they are becoming. That is reason to celebrate!

My boys favorites is good ole’ hamburgers.  My daughters favorites is anything fancy.  So, last week called for fancy drinks, “restaurant-style” serving and a family meal of conversation and praise. There are so many ways we can celebrate each other, but what is important is that we do it. Don’t take accomplishments for granted. Make sure you are equal or at least equally showing each person you care and love them. I love to watch my 19 month as she gets celebrated for helping to set the table….is it perfect, NO. However, when she gets thanked and acknowledged, there is nothing cuter than her clapping for herself.

How do you celebrate hard work and accomplishments in your home?

Both my older children are dramatic.  They have a certain flair for drama, music, dance and they like the attention.  These characteristics all equate to budding thespians. I’ll admit I was in drama throughout high school and started when I was quite young, too.  It gave me confidence, power in public speaking, allowed me to “escape” reality and pretend to be other people, fostered creativity and imagination, allowed friendships, gave me skills and most importantly I discovered something I enjoyed.

I recently received an email from a friend telling me of auditions.  Since my daughter is very involved in dance and soccer was over, I asked my son if he was interested in auditioning.  He enthusiastically said ‘YES!’  Then mom instincts kicked in and I thought of all the what-ifs.  What-if my sensitive little boy doesn’t get cast?  Is he emotionally equipped to deal with “rejection?”  What if he is cast, is he prepared to perform in front of large audienceswithout messing up or forgetting and again having an “emotional breakdown?.”  So, we will go audition and Mom will take a big breath and chalk this up for experience, right?!  Stay tuned for updates….

(thes·pi·an  (thsp-n) adj. 1. Of or relating to drama; dramatic: thespian talents.2. Thespian Of or relating to Thespis.n. An actor or actress.)

As parents we often feel like we have to “protect” our young.  However, we won’t always be there.  We can’t control every circumstance.  The worse thing that could happen from an audition is that they say, ‘No.’  The best, he gets a great experience with ups and downs.  I feel like I should give my children choices in what things they try and different things without pushing my likes or my husbands.  Each of my children are unique in talent and personality.   I think my mama bear instinct is overprotective.

Have you ever allowed your child to participate in something even though there was a chance for complete failure or negative outcomes?   How do you foster your children’s interests?

I know I have blogged about hobbies before.  I have blogged about my daughter dancing before. I have also blogged about our Mother/Daughter Book Club before.  What I haven’t touched on is discovering our passion.  This weekend we had our monthly Book Club.  The hostess had picked a book about horses and arranged for us to go visit where she takes riding lessons.  A normally socially reserved child came to life sharing what she has learned about horses.  It was obvious, she was passionate about horses.   My daughter has been blessed with great friends, many of whom are passionate about certain activities.  It is that passion that leads to motivation in doing well in school so they can maintain their extracurricular.

How does one find what they are passionate about?  We have always let our children decide an activity to try.  Sometimes activities need to change.  Sometimes the keep with something for a while, sometimes just a little while. We try not to push or “project” our own dreams or wishes upon them.  We want our children to want to do something or try something.  By exposing them to many activities they are able to narrow down what they truly enjoy.

I was taking my babysitter’s older sister home recently and she said, “I wish I had stuck with one activity, I did so many things that I don’t feel like I’m good at any one thing.”  It caught me off-guard.  I don’t like regrets and it sadden me to see regret in a 16 yr old.  So far, my daughter has many interests but nothing that she is passionate about.  She is only 10 and we continue to encourage her interests.  Perhaps it’s the mommy desire to know what she really is passionate about.  Or perhaps she will be more like I was…into a lot of things, learned a lot, but my passion was with life and people more than one particular activity.

Have your children shown a strong preference to one activity?  Do you share your own interests with your children?

Do you or your child suffer from the winter blues?  It is actually a seasonal affective disorder related to depression that occurs in the winter time due to shorter days, the cold and the stress of after holidays.  It is important to recognize the signs in yourself or your child and seek help if needed.  Also, remember if you the parent is suffering it can trickle down to your kids and impact them, so get help!  There are many fun ways we have found to beat the blues or the blahs!

Here are some indoor activities that can bring you together without making you lose your mind….

1.  Get crafty- get some projects done you have wanted to and involve your children, it’s a great time to teach life skills while getting projects done

2.  Write Letters- get those thank you cards written (hint to myself)

3. Play store- it teaches math, could organize your pantry and is fun!

4.  Play games and do puzzles, when’s the last time you took the time to play together in good old fashion fun

5.  Draw to Music, Dance to Music, Sing to Music

or…

Get out of the house and get busy….activity is good for beating the blues.  Jacksonville now has Jump N Jax, an indoor facility with bounce houses; go bowling; go for a walk; join a gym, enroll your child in gymnastics, dance or other activity.  Being cooped up in the house isn’t always ideal, especially when dealing with the blues.

The American Academy of Pediatrics states, “People with SAD may crave comfort foods, including simple carbs such as pasta, breads, and sugar. With excess unhealthy calories and a lack of fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, fatigue often sets in. They may become depressed and irritable. Eventually, they are no longer able to maintain their regular lifestyle. They may withdrawal socially and no longer enjoy things that used to be fun. It’s as if a person’s batteries have just run down. For parents, SAD can obviously have a sharp impact on the ability to be an effective parent.

Children and adolescents can also suffer these symptoms. They may experience feelings of low self-worth and hopelessness. Children with depression struggle to concentrate on their schoolwork. Their grades may drop, worsening feelings of low self-esteem. Symptoms that last more than two weeks are cause for concern.”  Since there has been no known study on the effects of SAD in children or treatments, parents do need to be more mindful of their children’s behaviors.

How do you beat the blues during the winter months?  Do you think children suffer from the blues in winter?

I remember being pregnant for the first time and finding out I was having a girl.  All I knew was that a baby was a baby, could there really be a difference?.  As time went on, girl was all I knew.  What my daughter did was what all children did, right?  Wrong. Almost five years later we had a son.  Again, people would ask if I was nervous about having a boy.  Why should I be? Well, to be honest I was, my biggest fear was how am I supposed to potty train him like a boy?  Silly I know but the differences between children is greater than anatomy.

Without getting scientific, I am going to state my own mom perspective.  I believe all children are equally different.  Some are “pre-wired” while other traits are learned environmentally.  Yes, the ole’ nature vs. nurture.  I have discovered that both children will do what is asked, but yield very different results. For example,  if I ask my son, who is in Kindergarten, to color certain items a color, he does it.  Albeit, he scribbles to quickly complete the assigned task and is ready for another task within second.  However, my daughter will take her time and meticulously color and it seems like a tortuous amount of time.  When I ask my son to clean, he stands there, evaluates the task and delegates to his sisters what he thinks needs to be done. (Did I mention he usually delegates the whole task back to someone else?) If I ask my daughter to do the same thing, she does it.  Both children respond differently emotionally, educationally and physically to stimuli.  Is there a difference, you bet!

I found this article very informative about gender differences and explaining the differences that come with gender vs. the scientific reasons based on the amount of chemicals in our brain development.  This doctors article explains some things in a way I never considered.  Either way, it is up to us a parents to expose our children to tasks normally associated with both genders to give them experience, opportunities and skills.

Do you think there is a significant difference between boys and girls?  Why or why not?