All month we’ve been talking about blended families.  While it takes time for both children and adults to adjust to new circumstances, sometimes challenges can arise that go above and beyond day-to-day behavior. If your tween is continually depressed or teary, they may have an adjustment disorder.

An adjustment disorder is defined as an emotional or behavioral reaction to an identifiable stressful event or change in a person’s life that is considered maladaptive or somehow not an expected healthy response to the event or change. The reaction must occur within three months of the identified stressful event or change happening. The identifiable stressful event or change in the life of a child or adolescent may be a family move, parental divorce or separation, the loss of a pet, birth of a brother or sister, to name a few.

What causes adjustment disorders?

Adjustment disorders are a reaction to stress. There is not a single direct cause between the stressful event and the reaction. Children and adolescents vary in their temperament, past experiences, vulnerability, and coping skills. Their developmental stage and the capacity of their support system to meet their specific needs related to the stress are factors that may contribute to their reaction to a particular stress. Stressors also vary in duration, intensity, and effect. No evidence is available to suggest a specific biological factor that causes adjustment disorders.

Who is affected by adjustment disorders?

Adjustment disorders are quite common in children and adolescents. They occur equally in males and females. While adjustment disorders occur in all cultures, the stressors and the signs may vary based on cultural influences. Adjustment disorders occur at all ages, however, it is believed that characteristics of the disorder are different in children and adolescents than they are in adults. Differences are noted in the symptoms experienced, severity and duration of symptoms, and in the outcome. Adolescent symptoms of adjustment disorders are more behavioral such as acting out, while adults experience more depressive symptoms.

What are the symptoms of an adjustment disorder?

In all adjustment disorders, the reaction to the stressor seems to be in excess of a normal reaction, or the reaction significantly interferes with social or occupational (educational) functioning. There are six subtypes of adjustment disorder that are based on the type of the major symptoms experienced. The following are the most common symptoms of each of the subtypes of adjustment disorder. However, each child may experience symptoms differently.

Read OHealthy’s article on “Adjustment Disorders” to learn about symptoms and more.

With most blended families sharing children over the holiday season, sometimes separation anxiety can arise in children.

The prospect of new experiences away from their parents or other loved ones can be quite frightening for children. The complaint of an upset stomach, headache, or some other ailment the night before or the morning of the day of the event is probably the most classic sign of apprehension. These worries are a normal part of development for all children, and your child can be expected to exhibit similar symptoms to a certain degree.

Anxiety can occur whenever you anticipate some sort of separation from the parents or other loved ones – say, a sleepover at a friend’s house, or a parent’s business trip. Symptoms can range from mild uneasiness to full-blown panic attacks. Your child may express fears that something bad, such as an accident or kidnapping, will befall the parent or him or herself. In addition, clingy behavior, pleading, and tantrums are common just before the separation is about to occur. Other possible symptoms of separation anxiety are nightmares, the refusal to sleep alone, and the need for frequent reassurance that everything is OK.

Supportive, yet firm

The best way to deal with your child’s fears is to be supportive, yet firm in enforcing the separation. One thing you could say is “I think you’re feeling nervous.  Tell me what you’re worried about.” Of course, you may discover that the problems causing the anxiety are real.  These problems may range from relatively easy to very difficult to solve. You should address the problem as soon as you learn about it and work toward resolution.

Don’t give in to arguments or tantrums; your child will soon see how that fear is easily exaggerated. Most cases of school separation anxiety are resolved fairly quickly. Children who are more likely to be anxious may have other problems, both current and in later life. Sometimes separation anxiety is a reaction to a recent disruptive event such as the illness or death of a family member or friend, divorce or remarriage, or moving to a new city. Children whose families have histories of panic disorder, phobias, depression or alcoholism may also be more prone to separation anxiety. Parents should contact a pediatrician or child psychiatrist for further assistance if the behavior lasts more than a few days or if the symptoms seem excessive or severe.

To read our treasure trove of medical advice, visit OHealthy.

How are you keeping your child’s anxieties at bay this holiday season? Click on the box below.

All month we’ve been talking about how to raise a blended family. Blended families come in many forms. Today we’re talking about how to blend a family when grandparents are raising their grandchildren.

Many seniors are taking a second turn at parenting.

The U.S. Census Bureaus say that grandparents provide childcare for almost a quarter (23 percent) of children under the age of five. In nearly one-third of these households, grandparents are the primary caregivers.

Divorce, single-parent families, and financial hardships are just a few of the reasons why we see more grandparents stepping back into the roles of mother or father. This can be overwhelming for many older people and cause them to neglect their own personal and health needs.

Grandparents should recognize that maintaining their own health is critical. This means following through on doctor appointments, remembering to take prescription medications, getting plenty of rest, eating a healthy diet, and reaching out for help when necessary.

Talking with others who are in similar surrogate-parenting roles may be very helpful. It’s a way to exchange ideas, vent frustrations, share information, and develop friendships.

For more tips on how to find resources to help, visit OHealthy.

Are you a grandparent raising a grandchild? What are your biggest successes and challenges? Click the comment link to reply.

All month we’re talking about how to make a blended family work and all the related health issues surrounding divorce. According to a recent study, more than 40,000 families in North Carolina go through divorce every year.

Divorce can be an emotional train wreck for both parents, but often the family members hurt most have the least control — the children. What’s the best way to help children adjust to divorce? The complexity of your discussion with your children should vary with the child’s age, even if the basic information is the same for all children.

How much do you know about how to protect your children? Test your knowledge with the following questions on our quiz, “The Truth About Kids and Divorce.”

Couirtesy AMC

Mad Men, Emmy winner for the last two years in a row for Best Drama on television, wrapped up its third season this week. In the midst of the main story where the partners of fictional advertising agency Sterling Cooper leave to start a new agency, there was a much more searing and heartfelt drama playing out in the background. The show’s two main characters, Don and Betty Draper, broke the news to their young children that they were getting a divorce. Just as in life, the emotions were raw and there were no simple answers.

As we talk this month about how to make blended families work, it’s important to point out that shielding children from pain is often parents’ No. 1 concern.

Here are some tips from OHealthy to help you during that process:

• Don’t shield your children from bad news. It’s important to be open and honest with them.
• Make an effort to understand how your children feel about the divorce. You are going through a terrific emotional struggle yourself. Still, you must encourage children to talk openly about their feelings. Let them express anger and grief on their own terms.
• During and after the divorce, don’t expose your kids to arguments between the two of you. The children of divorcing parents must make some difficult adjustments. Don’t add to the stress by fighting in front of them.

How did you break the news to your children? And how did they take it?