My son is in Kindergarten.  Still an age of innocence, right?!  I was dumbfounded by what came out of his mouth when he got angry the other day.  I stood there for a second thinking he didn’t really just say that to me and then proceeded to put him on timeout.  After speaking with him later about it I discovered that someone he considers a friend (and someone I consider a bad influence) uses “potty words” all the time.  So, we discussed our home “rules” again and set some future consequences for him using inappropriate language.  We try really hard not to expose our children to words we don’t want them using.  In fact, “stupid” is a bad word to us; we prefer to use silly instead.  It hit me the his outside influences are becoming stronger as he is away from home longer.  I know we cannot “shelter” him forever, but, really?  Kindergarten?!

So, how do we teach our children to differentiate which words and phrases are OK and appropriate and which are not?  Inside our homes we set the tone and the rules for what is OK.  However, when children hear things in movies or in stores it is OK to say, “ignore that,” or “we don’t say things like that.”   Yet, there are many times our children will hear things and will most likely try repeating them for effect.  It is best not to get too angry until you discuss what they understand about what they just said.  Most often than not, our kids don’t really know what they are repeating.  It is a “parrot” affect.  However, once discussed, future rules need to be clear.

It is also a good idea to tell our children to stand up and tell their friends not to use certain language because it is offensive.  If they choose not to respect you, again it becomes a learning lesson in choosing our friends wisely.  If children are using foul language on the playground at recess, I want my children to tell an adult.  There is no reason to have “potty” mouths, especially at school where we should be teaching our children good grammar and words.  School is the last place I want my child picking up inappropriate language or manners.

Here is a neat article about different reasons a child may use “bad words,”  it’s not always what we think.

How do you handle when your child uses a new word that may not be acceptable in your home?  Do you think a child should be encouraged to tell an adult or teacher or do you view that as tattling?

Jake is now 8 and Sam will be 7 this summer. We just visited the Naval Hospital and Jake is 54″ and Sam is not far behind and changing everyday. That said, even as big as they are getting, there are times when I realize they are still little boys at heart.

My Guys

Jake still calls me over to sit on the couch with him before bedtime and on our trip to Disney, they both made it clear that they are still not ready for big coasters and scary rides. Sam still loves to cuddle with me and give me kisses for no good reason. I know that much of this WILL change at some point and that point is not too far off in the distance.

The day will come when they are too big to sit on my lap or cuddle on the couch and one day kisses and hugs in public will be MUCH less frequent. I am trying very hard to take advantage of this time while I have it. If Jake asks me to come sit with him, I drop whatever I am doing and get over there. When Sam whispers in my ear that I am his favorite I smooch him right back and get a big hug. One day soon Jake will want his girlfriend on the couch with him and Sam won’t share those secrets with me.

I know my boys and I will always be affectionate…..we have raised them that way with lots of cuddles and kisses. I also know time marches on and how that is expressed will change. I don’t know what age it will be or what day it will come, but it will so for now…I am enjoying every little moment.

When did you see a change in your tween like this?

I tell you one thing, my tween is always growing.  I feel like I get him a new pair of pants for church and by the next month he has outgrown them already!!  It is time consuming to keep on top of his wardrobe.

I also feel like he is at the point where I have to take him shopping with me to make sure things fit correctly.  Right now, he has outgrown his white button down shirt for church and his pants are a little too snug.  A shopping trip for church clothes really needs to happen before next Sunday.

I remember the days when I could pick up 3T, 4T and 5T – they fit perfectly and we were good to go!  Those times have gone far too quickly!

Here is a list of the winter staples that my tween always needs in his wardrobe and is always outgrowing;

- A nice pair of khaki pants (Gap has my all time favorite khaki pants for my tween)

-A couple pair of jeans (Gap is also my favorite for these)

-A pair of tennis shoes (I love the black Adidas indoor soccer shoes – comfortable and easy to get on and off)

-A pair of  brown dressier church shoes

-A white button down shirt

-A good comfortable sweatshirt

-Long and short sleeve t-shirts

-A nice warm jacket

Come summer time, this list will change from jeans to shorts and jackets to swimming trunks!   Good luck keeping your growing tween dressed and comfortable this year!

What are some of your all time favorite clothing items for your tween?

I took cupcakes in for Jake’s birthday this past week. He asked that I not stay but I did manage to snap a couple of photos before I left. As I was looking through them I stopped on the photo you see here with this post. I am not sure if it the school setting, or his recent haircut or what but my little Jakey looks too old! Where is my baby?!

Jake still sleeps with his cookie monster and he still gets scared in the dark. He still runs to me when he is hurt and is unsure of himself in new situations. All that said, I know he is no longer a little boy. Pretty soon I can expect more changes I am sure……wanting to choose his own clothes, fewer hugs and kisses in public…..he has already started to resist holding my hand sometimes when we are out. I can tell he is just not as “into it” as he once was. While it makes me sad, I am also excited to see the young man he becomes.

It will be so fun to watch him and Sam grow and mature. I already really like who they are and I know they will continue to impress and surprise me. While those surprises may not always be good ones, I am so lucky to be their mom and to be here for all of it. As long as we can weather the not so pretty moments we can all enjoy the good ones together as a family.

When did it hit you that your child was not so little anymore?

I always enjoy watching my tween interact with other kids.  I find it interesting  how easy it is for my tween to bond with ANYONE who likes to play sports.  It is like an automatic friendship if they want to toss the football with him.  What about him having fun with tweens who would prefer not to play sports all day?  I recently learned a good lesson about this.

Lincoln has a darling neighbor friend we spend a lot of time with playing in the backyard.  These two have always been friends, but playing sports is not the center of their friendship.

For Christmas, we got Lincoln a few Transformers. He has always loved Transformers but isn’t the best about playing by himself.  This cute neighbor friend of his, LOVES Transformers.  All of a sudden, we found these two playing Transformers together non-stop!!  They had found the thing they loved to do together!  It was like watching magic…instead of playing separately, they were so into playing with their Transformers and hours of play passed by!!

As a parent, that was a really fun thing to watch.  Different people bring out different sides of who we are.  Lincoln isn’t the best at imaginary play, but add a great little neighbor friend and he is in another little imaginary world!!

Thank you sweet neighbor boy for teaching Lincoln another aspect of fun!!  Thank you Transformers for creating such fun toys and imaginary play for our kids!!

What are some activities your child has started to like because of a friend?