Last week celebrated another report card.  It also marked an early spring as Phil did not see his shadow! In my books, there is plenty to celebrate! We do not pay our children for grades. We do not pay them for chores.  However, we do like to do spontaneous celebrations of them. This includes theme nights, favorite foods, family fun, favorite game, etc. The best part about it….you never know when Mom is going to surprise you with a celebration, hence, our family motto, every day’s a party!

Celebrating doesn’t take a lot of preparation, money or decor. It takes good ole’ fashion time. I’m realizing how much my children have come to value that time with family. They value the surprises and celebrations. It encourages us to be our best self. It encourages cooperation, teamwork and being each other’s cheerleaders. Family is a reason to celebrate in itself. Perhaps I’m getting old and more sentimental, but I look at my almost 11 year old and I realize that she has less time at home now than not. I look at my younger two and realize that time is too precious to waste wishing I would have. It’s time to do. Do the things I think about and not have regrets.

As we looked at the comments about our children on their report cards, of course we were proud at their grades, but more importantly we are proud about the great people they are becoming. That is reason to celebrate!

My boys favorites is good ole’ hamburgers.  My daughters favorites is anything fancy.  So, last week called for fancy drinks, “restaurant-style” serving and a family meal of conversation and praise. There are so many ways we can celebrate each other, but what is important is that we do it. Don’t take accomplishments for granted. Make sure you are equal or at least equally showing each person you care and love them. I love to watch my 19 month as she gets celebrated for helping to set the table….is it perfect, NO. However, when she gets thanked and acknowledged, there is nothing cuter than her clapping for herself.

How do you celebrate hard work and accomplishments in your home?

Both my older children are dramatic.  They have a certain flair for drama, music, dance and they like the attention.  These characteristics all equate to budding thespians. I’ll admit I was in drama throughout high school and started when I was quite young, too.  It gave me confidence, power in public speaking, allowed me to “escape” reality and pretend to be other people, fostered creativity and imagination, allowed friendships, gave me skills and most importantly I discovered something I enjoyed.

I recently received an email from a friend telling me of auditions.  Since my daughter is very involved in dance and soccer was over, I asked my son if he was interested in auditioning.  He enthusiastically said ‘YES!’  Then mom instincts kicked in and I thought of all the what-ifs.  What-if my sensitive little boy doesn’t get cast?  Is he emotionally equipped to deal with “rejection?”  What if he is cast, is he prepared to perform in front of large audienceswithout messing up or forgetting and again having an “emotional breakdown?.”  So, we will go audition and Mom will take a big breath and chalk this up for experience, right?!  Stay tuned for updates….

(thes·pi·an  (thsp-n) adj. 1. Of or relating to drama; dramatic: thespian talents.2. Thespian Of or relating to Thespis.n. An actor or actress.)

As parents we often feel like we have to “protect” our young.  However, we won’t always be there.  We can’t control every circumstance.  The worse thing that could happen from an audition is that they say, ‘No.’  The best, he gets a great experience with ups and downs.  I feel like I should give my children choices in what things they try and different things without pushing my likes or my husbands.  Each of my children are unique in talent and personality.   I think my mama bear instinct is overprotective.

Have you ever allowed your child to participate in something even though there was a chance for complete failure or negative outcomes?   How do you foster your children’s interests?

My son is in Kindergarten.  Still an age of innocence, right?!  I was dumbfounded by what came out of his mouth when he got angry the other day.  I stood there for a second thinking he didn’t really just say that to me and then proceeded to put him on timeout.  After speaking with him later about it I discovered that someone he considers a friend (and someone I consider a bad influence) uses “potty words” all the time.  So, we discussed our home “rules” again and set some future consequences for him using inappropriate language.  We try really hard not to expose our children to words we don’t want them using.  In fact, “stupid” is a bad word to us; we prefer to use silly instead.  It hit me the his outside influences are becoming stronger as he is away from home longer.  I know we cannot “shelter” him forever, but, really?  Kindergarten?!

So, how do we teach our children to differentiate which words and phrases are OK and appropriate and which are not?  Inside our homes we set the tone and the rules for what is OK.  However, when children hear things in movies or in stores it is OK to say, “ignore that,” or “we don’t say things like that.”   Yet, there are many times our children will hear things and will most likely try repeating them for effect.  It is best not to get too angry until you discuss what they understand about what they just said.  Most often than not, our kids don’t really know what they are repeating.  It is a “parrot” affect.  However, once discussed, future rules need to be clear.

It is also a good idea to tell our children to stand up and tell their friends not to use certain language because it is offensive.  If they choose not to respect you, again it becomes a learning lesson in choosing our friends wisely.  If children are using foul language on the playground at recess, I want my children to tell an adult.  There is no reason to have “potty” mouths, especially at school where we should be teaching our children good grammar and words.  School is the last place I want my child picking up inappropriate language or manners.

Here is a neat article about different reasons a child may use “bad words,”  it’s not always what we think.

How do you handle when your child uses a new word that may not be acceptable in your home?  Do you think a child should be encouraged to tell an adult or teacher or do you view that as tattling?

I know I have blogged about hobbies before.  I have blogged about my daughter dancing before. I have also blogged about our Mother/Daughter Book Club before.  What I haven’t touched on is discovering our passion.  This weekend we had our monthly Book Club.  The hostess had picked a book about horses and arranged for us to go visit where she takes riding lessons.  A normally socially reserved child came to life sharing what she has learned about horses.  It was obvious, she was passionate about horses.   My daughter has been blessed with great friends, many of whom are passionate about certain activities.  It is that passion that leads to motivation in doing well in school so they can maintain their extracurricular.

How does one find what they are passionate about?  We have always let our children decide an activity to try.  Sometimes activities need to change.  Sometimes the keep with something for a while, sometimes just a little while. We try not to push or “project” our own dreams or wishes upon them.  We want our children to want to do something or try something.  By exposing them to many activities they are able to narrow down what they truly enjoy.

I was taking my babysitter’s older sister home recently and she said, “I wish I had stuck with one activity, I did so many things that I don’t feel like I’m good at any one thing.”  It caught me off-guard.  I don’t like regrets and it sadden me to see regret in a 16 yr old.  So far, my daughter has many interests but nothing that she is passionate about.  She is only 10 and we continue to encourage her interests.  Perhaps it’s the mommy desire to know what she really is passionate about.  Or perhaps she will be more like I was…into a lot of things, learned a lot, but my passion was with life and people more than one particular activity.

Have your children shown a strong preference to one activity?  Do you share your own interests with your children?

Is it just me or are boys harder on clothes?  I recently realized that a lot of my Kindergarten son’s pants have holes in the knees.  Between how fast kids grow, how hard they are on their clothes and the economy, we are re-evaluating thrift.  As parents, we all want our children to look nice.  We all have limited time to shop or even if we have unlimited time to shop, there is a little thing called budget. We all want what is best for our children. I know my parents did several things when we were younger to teach the value of frugality and thrift.  I’ll also admit that I didn’t readily start couponing or thrift store shopping until a few years ago and I am still somewhat of a discriminating shopper.  However, by making this part of our family’s pattern we are teaching invaluable skills to our children.

By taking our children to regular stores and showing them prices of clothing, even on sale, they have learned how much greater a deal is at the Bag Sales at thrift stores.  For $6 you fill a brown paper bag of clothes/shoes.  With a little patience, planning and picking, you can outfit your growing children on a dime.  The best part is not caring as much when your child stains a shirt or puts holes in their knees or are too hard on their clothes.  There are many people who would NEVER be caught dead in a thrift store or who have negative stereotypes.  These same people tend to buy their children too many clothes (mostly name brands) and often donate them new with tags or after being worn once.

My children have often received compliments on their clothing from others and now readily share their tips.  The compliments have given them confidence and reassurance that it doesn’t matter where you buy your clothes, as long as you present yourself well and groomed.  My daughter went from a thrift store snob to looking forward to monthly mommy/daughter dates at the bag sale.  We comb the racks for familiar brands, things new with tags, or gently used clothing that catches the eye.  We project the next size needed.  By having our kids help with the laundry and putting clothes away, they are also aware of what they need more so than myself at times.  So, when my son put holes in yet another pair of jeans this week, I was glad I finally found a way of saving money on that little necessity of clothing our children without the stress of breaking the bank.

What are some money saving tips have you used with your growing family?