This past weekend my tween performed in the Nutcracker.  She had not planned on participating and did not audition.  Why?  Rude peer remarks “scared” her from auditioning.  What changed her mind?  An encouraging friend.  The Director was very willing to put her in where she could fit her, however, it did not showcase my tween’s true skills.  My daughter learned many lessons from participating in such a large production.

Saturday was her last performance even though the cast performed Sunday.  We have taught our children to observe the Sabbath on Sunday and it is our family day together.  We were supportive of her decision.  About a week ago, our tween, unsolicited, went to her Director and explained that she did not feel right about performing on Sunday.  I was proud of her decision that she came to and was ready and willing to support either way.  She learned how to stand up for her beliefs.  The Director was very gracious and said “good for you, it will be fine.”  My tween learned a lesson that took me many years to gain the strength and  courage to do. So, if she does audition next year and gets a bigger part, an understudy will have to be in the making.

Lessons Learned:

1.  Do not let peer comments sway you.  Not everyone is kind and by listening and giving in, you are letting them “win.”

2.  No part is too small or insignificant.  Some of the most work was done by those back stage who go unrecognized.

3.  Sometimes by living with the consequence of not auditioning, a seed is planted to desire something more and be willing to take that chance and audition.

4.  After everything is said and done, it is a lot of time, sacrifice, etc.  Yet, time management was learned, appreciation for family time and skills were acquired.

5.  Friends have the power to influence…. choose wisely.

6.  Honesty is the best policy.

Have your tweens learned life lessons participating in extracurricular activities?  What were they?

We have had a small garden for two years now.  I can’t take any credit for it, it is all my husband’s doing. I also wish I could say that I am better about getting the kids out there to help weed.

In the end, Matt usually makes it fun and gets us all out there together.  We were out weeding the other night and the weeds were BAD.  My tween was right there next to me helping pull all the weeds.  I was making some major progress and dripping sweat when I look up and my tween was no longer weeding next to me.  I bit my tongue and tried not to tell him to ‘get working’.  Instead I watched him and his little sister and was delighted.  They were making mud bombs and having the time of their life.  The question goes through my head, should I tell them both to stop playing and get working?  Or should I let them go on with their fun and make happy memories together?  I guess the answer for that would be different with each parent.  I chose to let them play.  I weeded the whole garden by myself…but, we were outside as a family, we were all having fun, they pulled weeds here and there and now know how to do it.  In that moment I felt like them being happy and having fun together was more important then being the drill sargent and getting them to pull weeds.

Isn’t that pretty typical of parenthood?  Situations are always different and you want to make the right choice for your tween…..do you let them throw mud bombs or keep weeding?

My choice, that day…….bombs away!!!!