There isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not amazed at the amazing odors that emanate from smelly socks, stinky feet, breath, body odor and the constant need for reminders on good hygiene.

From the time our children were infants, we taught them to brush, regularly bathed them, washed their hair, washed their clothes, brushed their teeth.  Part of teaching our growing children is teaching them proper habits.  I get so frustrated thinking it should be common sense at this age, especially for my tween.  However, it’s a whole different world for them and let’s be honest, they aren’t even aware of odors like we are.

I have had to create a chart for each of my children of what needs to be done…daily!!!  I try to let them be responsible, however, they are quick to say that they don’t care if they skip a step, no one would care.  I do.  Perhaps I  have an overly sensitive olfactory system, but this laissez-fare attitude needs to stop!  Thankfully, in a conversation with a friend, I discovered my children are not alone and neither am I.  Many parents struggle with having their children carry through with hygiene tasks.

Change your strategies.  You want your child to wash her hands for 15 seconds. It’s hard enough to get an adult to do this, let alone a child, so here’s the trick: Ask your child to sing the Happy Birthday song. It takes about seven seconds to sing it, so during the first round they can be scrubbing; during the second they can be rinsing. Also show kids how to lather up correctly. The right technique involves rubbing hands thoroughly on both sides, as well as get in between fingers and rub the tips of fingers.

Tricks and treats can work!  A spokesman for the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry came up with this strategy when his oldest child was a toddler and began refusing to brush her teeth. What did he and his wife do? They sang and danced in the bathroom, knowing that their daughter would walk by soon. When she did, she asked what they were doing. When they said they were brushing each other’s teeth, she ran away. She came back a few minutes later to find them doing the same thing, and she said she wanted to try that. Dr. Hanna replied: “Oh, you’re too little. You have to be a big person. You can’t do this.” And he closed the door. His daughter then opened the door, and said she wanted to brush too. “So we got her a toothbrush, and she brushed my teeth, and I brushed hers. Then she brushed my wife’s teeth, and my wife brushed mine,” says Dr. Hanna. “The next day, my daughter was fine.”

What are some of your tried and true tips on teaching hygiene?

Whether you are staying here, traveling somewhere exotic, visiting family or all of the above, tweens still need a routine.  My tween asked me several times over the weekend what our schedule was.  Here I was thinking of a break…non scheduled activities and spontaneous fun.  She wants to know what to expect and what kind of fun we will be doing.  Routines are important whether it’s daily school routines or holiday vacation.

Creating a routine for holiday break can be fun and not as structured.  We have decided to list a few things the kids would like to do, things they have to do (science project) and then things that Mom does when they are at school that they now need to help with. (cooking, cleaning, errands, etc.)  Together we will create daily schedules based on the health of all members home and the feeling.  Requirements…at least 2 pajama days for crafting, cooking and cleaning where we are not rushing around trying to do too much.

Rexanne Mancini states that, “routines are an ideal way to keep your family and children calm, secure and at ease with life’s variables.

Children will thrive with schedules that are easy to understand and accomplish, yet flexible enough to change if circumstances warrant. We do not want to rule our families with an iron fist, adhering to “the schedule” without compromise; however, good routines will keep your family organized and will establish an environment of tranquility for all family members.”

I also believe it helps children learn time management.

So, with two weeks with our kids at home and most scheduled activities on break as well, reconnect with your tweens and have fun with your routines!  Let each child make some decisions and choose what they would like to do.  Compromise with each other and have fun, it is vacation, right?!

What are some of your holiday vacation plans?  Have you created a holiday break routine yet?  How do you merge expectations, fun and tradition?

I find that Motherhood is full of lots of these phrases;

“brush your teeth”,

“pick up your room”,

“let the dog out”,

“finish your homework”

and

“‘watch the baby”…..

That is part of our job, we keep things moving and help our tweens accomplish the things they need to.  I often feel a bit like a drill sargent!  But, alas…they would be in trouble if we weren’t here to help them along and keep them safe and out of trouble.

Then, here and there you have those special moments.  Those moments where the stars align, fireworks ignite and you are filled with such joy!!  Moments like the one I captured  in this photo, watching two darling children lost in a book together.  Watching my tween take care of his little sister and enjoy it.

Next time I feel like I just might pull my hair out if I have to tell my tween to pick up his socks one more time, I will find peace in the fact that I am teaching and training him.  In all those moments I have asked him to help out with his younger siblings, he has learned how to be with babies.  He knows how to take care of them (he will be an awesome Dad someday).

All those hours of nagging and disciplining and teaching WILL pay off and yes, God will give me these magical moments to keep me going!!

What are some of your ‘tender moments’ that make all the nagging and teaching pay off?

“Later.” “It’s not fair.”  “Why do I have to do chores because I’m the oldest?”

Sound familiar?  I’m learning that insisting my children have an active part in household chores, means that it will take longer to get done, I will have to regularly supervise to make sure it gets done right, but ultimately it’s worth the effort!  Teaching children to do chores and showing them how and supervising it will raise more responsible and contributing adults!  My tween daughter is a little fashionista.  So, when I was out and about and found these rubber gloves, they were a must.  I mean, how can she refuse to do chores with her new title as Domestic Goddess and a some bling?!

As much as I know that I can get things done faster and done to standard by doing it myself, I also have learned it builds resentment on my part.  When space is shared and we all create messes, it’s only fair to teach and insist that everyone does their share to clean up.  We have tried all sorts of charts, programs, incentives, etc.  Some work for a while and then they are abandoned.  We start them up again and again we find success for a little while.  You would think that habits would be formed.  However, since my tween is the oldest, she often sets the sibling tone within the home about chores.  Here are some things that I have found that do work with chores:

1.  Create quiet time to actually do chores, whether it be after the school snack or after dinner.  Do not allow younger siblings or even husbands to watch TV during this time.  Any distractions or “privileges” to other members of the family are seen as unfair and will distract from getting jobs done.

2.  Make a game out of it.  Play a song and challenge everyone to finish their assignment before the end of the song.

3.  Use doing a chore together as “talk time” and create special memories.

4.  Switch it up, don’t make one child always have the “dreaded” chore, in our family, toilets is the “dreaded” chore.

5.  Be consistent and clear.  Having a set time every day to do chores helps and having lists of what Clean the Bathroom means where they check off boxes when it’s done helps.  We use dry erase boards.

What do you do to help your tween get chores done?  Have you found resistance to doing chores?

My boys would not think of throwing trash out the car window or leaving their left over chip bag on the sand at the beach. As a matter of fact, if we are out and they see garbage out of place, they will often pick it up and put it in the trash can. Since they were very small we have told them that it is wrong to litter and they should recycle. Why then, can you tell me, do they leave a trail of wrappers and juice boxes behind them all through our house!

I spend a good part of my day “reminding” the boys to take any food garbage items to the kitchen when they are done. It seems no matter how many times I tell them, I still find a straw wrapper on the floor or a fruit snack bag on the couch. I suppose I should require them to eat and drink in the kitchen, but the truth is, that would be harder on me than them. It would just be one more thing I would need to remember to enforce. Anyway…as they get older aren’t they supposed to be more responsible!? (Oh wait…..my husband is 36 and I don’t think he has gotten the clean up memo yet )

I clean their rooms, wash their clothes, make sure they bath and brush…I just feel like there should be a point where they can at least clean up their own wrappers. I am still not sure what angle I will take with this……something has to change or I may lose my mind Suggestions??