Editor’s note: Sarah Moore is a featured blogger on CuddleBugs. She’ll be posting a two-part series this week on TweenBeat.
If you are just tuning in, please read Part One of my story here.
So where did my husband and I go wrong? What happened? I need someone or something to blame but I’m running in circles right now trying to find an answer where there might be none.
I know that her mother and father did not get along while they were married and had an especially ugly divorce and custody fight. Could that be it? I just don’t know and Marissa had a hard time communicating with us about why she behaved in this way.
I considered the possibility of getting her some counseling but my husband is strongly against this, as if it would be admitting there might be something wrong with her, or even us, but I see it as a way to help this confused 11-year old confront her issues.
We spoke with Marissa on this topic and what she had done for a long time that night, and well into the weekend. We tried to make her connect her actions and words to the whys and hows of the situation. I even made her read the note aloud so she would hear how ugly those words were. I showed her articles about recent bullying instances and the devastating results for the victims, such as suicide, failing school, school shootings, etc.
She was in tears during some of this, but I could not stop until she understood this was not a harmless joke. Even telling the child she didn’t want to be his friend was mean, but then what she had written was despicable.
We asked Marissa to write apology notes to her teacher, to the child the note was directed at, and most importantly, to God. We also have been praying more and reading the Bible together more as a family. I am trying to find the positive in all this, so hopefully she has learned a valuable lesson.
Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. Any thoughts on counseling?
