Kerry has been home 20 months out of the last almost 48. The longest period of time he was home in a row has been 10 months. We have managed and, sadly, gotten very used to be doing things in threes instead of fours. As Kerry gets ready to return home after nearly 3 months away at school I am ready to say that I have had enough.

I don't mean to be a cry baby, but....

• I can handle the boys alone..I don’t want to
• I can handle taking care of the house on my own…I don’t want to
• I can live without a date night with my husband…I don’t want to
• I can buy and sell a house on my own…I don’t want to
• I can sit alone every night once the kids go to bed…I don’t want to

I don’t want to sound like a whiner, but the boys and I are worn out. Kerry has missed too many sports games the boys were in and too many school events. They are ready for their dad to be home and I am ready to feel married again. As I look ahead to the holidays and a possible job for Kerry in VA, I know this may all need to be put off yet again (I’ll have to keep you posted on the job front). I guess I need a day or two to just feel upset about and complain ALOT We will deal as we always have, but we hope for an end to all of this sooner rather than later.

Have you endured too much time apart? When did you “hit the wall” so to speak?

President Eisenhower signing HR7786, changing Armistice Day to Veterans Day. From left: Alvin J. King, Wayne Richards, Arthur J. Connell, John T. Nation, Edward Rees, Richard L. Trombla, Howard W. Watts

This week our kids will have a day off of school to honor Veterans.  It’s not just a day off.  It is meant to be celebrating the lives of those lost, as well as those serving and those living whom have served in war times.  It marks sacrifice, service, patriotism, honor and oftentimes loss.  Many Veterans live today with wounds, disease, injuries, and debilitating illnesses that were caused from their time served in other countries.  I was excited to hear my tween come home and say that they had been writing thank you notes to Veterans to be given out at VA hospitals.

What do you know about Veteran’s Day?  I’ll admit that I’m rusty on my history and that made me research so that I’ll have answers for my children.  A good source is, http://www1.va.gov/opa/vetsday/vetdayhistory.asp

So, what will you be doing in Veteran’s Day celebration?

Locally, many parades were held this past Saturday.  However, you can pay tribute to those lost by attending memorial services at a military cemetery, having your children visit or serve those at wounded warrior houses, visit the Beirut Memorial Wall, write letters of gratitude to those whom have served in war or who are currently serving, serve those families of soldiers whom have deployed, or call family members and express gratitude for their service in past war deployments.

This is our family’s second year having our Veteran home.  It has brought on new meaning to know firsthand of his sacrifice and of those whom he had served with.  We have learned empathy and increased gratitude by living through a deployment and knowing the sacrifice and toll is takes on the family and soldier/sailor.  We are grateful to live in a country where we have the freedom to choose, to vote, to believe and to raise our children how we view.

What will you be doing on your day off to teach your children about why we receive that day off?

Time with their dad this summer at Disney

When my husband left active duty this past summer I thought the days of him being gone for months at a time were behind us. I was wrong!

As you may know from previous posts, two weeks after leaving active duty he returned to work as an active duty reservist. He was working in the same shop and doing the same job. Well…a few months in and they offered him the chance to attend a school he had wanted to attend since before his last deployment. It was a good opportunity so he said yes…and so did Jake, Sam and I. He said yes to nearly 3 months of intense intelligence coursework and we said yes to nearly 3 months without a dad and husband AGAIN.

I have to say….we are pretty good at it at this point. We have the drill down and we can take care of ourselves. That said, it would be much nicer to have him home. I am back to trash duty and mopping (the one household chore I hate more than any other so he does it for me:)) and the boys are back to phone calls to say goodnight.

I know we are fortunate he has a good job and benefits and we have a stable life here with friends and a great support system. I just wish we could get out of the cycle all together…..so come on federal job…….time for some interviews and a way out!

Are you dealing with separation right now? How are your tweens handling it?

Anniversaries don't always include flowers! They can be so much more!

As a military family who has always lived away from family, we have grown accustomed to celebrating anniversaries with young children or just going out for dinner for a few hours while the kids are watched.  My growing romantic tween asked us this year what we were doing to celebrate our 12th anniversary.  As much as I wanted to say going on a weekend getaway or cruise, we simply said, “probably dinner.” 

As the questions kept coming up about what an anniversary is and how do we celebrate it, it made me think about the whole custom.  I know that children help celebrate their parents 25th and 50th anniversary, but I do not remember doing much else.  I always felt like it was my mom and dad’s holiday. 

My daughter is a sweetheart and is always watching out for me…making sure the cards get made, the plans are executed and flowers are bought.  Last weekend was no different as she coached her father through how to properly celebrate our anniversary.  She gave me pointers on how to dress and talked my husband through where he should take me for dinner.  It was rather amusing to have a child have an interest in our anniversary.

I’ll admit I wasn’t that great this year.  I bought a card early and lost it.  Then, I was so busy watching kids that I didn’t pull off anything at all…major letdown for my husband.  Last year my husband was deployed for our anniversary and I think I had emotionally removed myself from that holiday.   My dear husband let me sleep in and took the three kids fishing in the morning.  I didn’t know where they were and went ahead to make breakfast thinking surely they went to get flowers.  Nope.  They came home with stories of adventures, a dozen Dunkin’ Doughnuts and tons of excitement.  I was grateful however for the two hours I had to paint the shutters, do two loads of laundry, clean the kitchen and make a hot breakfast, which was quickly dismissed for glazed doughnuts. 

Despite the fact we have differences in helping each other celebrate our marriage, it was nice to have those few hours to reconnect on an adult level while trusted friends watched our children.  Besides, we have years to master this whole celebrating marriage, right?!

What do you do to celebrate your anniversary?  Do you celebrate alone or with your children?

My daughter loves to read.  On the path to discovering her interests, I also discovered that she loves being at home and she missed her friends from Girl Scouts.  When my husband was deployed and I had our third child, I knew that realistically I could not be the Girl Scout leader this year.  I had been the troop leader for three years and LOVED it, but it was no longer my time and I needed a break.  We decided to combine her love of reading, being at home and her friends and we started a book club.

We meet once a month.  The girls choose their books and their month they provide the discussion, a craft and snacks.  I have never been more impressed than I am at book club.  The girls have carefully selected books that interests them.  Most of the girls have similar Accelerated Reading levels, which has helped.  Each book has directed the others in books they may or may not have read.

I have discovered that by talking to your tween and finding out their interests, you can create a place where they can foster those loves.  If your area doesn’t have a theater class or a sport that interests them…create it.  You don’t have to be an expert in the area, just be willing. 

The benefits of creating a book club have been many. It fosters a love of reading, exposes the girls to different authors and genres, their love of reading has increased, friendships have developed and grown, AR levels have increased and scores have improved, leadership has developed, the girls’ thought process and comprehension has grown and it provides all of this in a fun environment. 

How  can you create a club?  Bring together an interest, kids the same age, a common place and time and commitment from all parents.  The first meeting we met to discuss what the girls wanted.  They each brought a favorite book and shared an excerpt.  We did a craft and had snacks and everyone left with an assignment to discover their month’s book.  I am more the facilitator and the kids run the show. 

What types of clubs, groups or sports do your children participate in that have fostered a love or interest?