Well, the rumors are really flying now about when my husband and his fellow soldiers might return from deployment, especially since we got the proverbial stop mail date.  We’ll see if we hear anything official in the next few weeks, I expect we will.  I’ve made progress though, the garage is finally clean (well as far as I’m concerned anyway!!!)  The ongoing laundry crisis is kinda under contro.l  

Overall, I’m just excited that my husband may possibly be home, safe and sound, sooner rather than later. 

I have done a lot of thinking, though.  I decided that I’m not going to be telling the girls.  I know how often flight windows and returns change.  I’ve gotten a call as I was walking out the door to pick him up.  I think that would be too much for them to handle at this point.  It’s not like they can understand the concept of “crew rest” and be cool with the fact that dad won’t be home until tomorrow. 

Mallory has been sad this week.  One of the little boys in her class had his dad come home.  Mallory couldn’t understand why her dad wasn’t home.  She didn’t think it was fair that J’s dad got to come home and hers didn’t.  She cried for awhile, and no matter what I did or said, it didn’t make it any better.  I think she just needed to cry; like we all do sometimes.  Thankfully, she’s back to her normal self and she knows dad will be home sooner rather than later.  I’ll be keeping you all posted!

I got kind of bummed that Jon wasn’t able to call on Mothers’ Day.  Yeah well, I guess that’s how it is.  I’m still slightly peeved, but I will get over it; I always do.  To my delight, both the girls made it through a full week of school (it is a miracle) and let me tell you it felt great!!!  Vannah has a slight head cold, but knock on wood, no signs of an ear infection (I love tubes). 

I think this week I’m just generally thankful that my husband is still okay.  I know one out of six families has suffered some losses and my heart breaks for those mothers, wives, and children.  I can’t begin to imagine the sorrow and grief that they must be going through.  I’m just thankful that we have so much and that thus far, Jon is OK.  I do feel more “on edge” this week and when things like this happen I get really anxious.  No news is good news, though.   

Sometimes I do get frustrated and overwhelmed but quite honestly, it really truly makes the time pass by so much more quickly.  I feel like I blinked and this past week was gone!  There isn’t really even a dent in my to-do list from the past week.  I still have to mow the lawn, weed it, touch up the paint in the bedroom, clean the disaster area I call a garage, blah blah blah.  

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Well, off to fold another load of laundry then pass out in bed.  Not much longer and I’ll actually have to kick Oreo and Dunkin off the bed so Jon will have a spot! 

How are the rest of you holding up?

Well, my husband called last weekend.  It was a short phone call, but enough to stress me out.  He has some type of unknown bacterial infection and he just didn’t sound himself.  It is what it is, though.

Part of me dreads homecoming.  A lot of spouses will be shocked, especially those whose husbands/wives have never experienced combat or its aftermath.  I’m also quite sure that some people are better equipped to deal with this psychological trauma than others.  Those of you who have been in my shoes; you know what I’m talking about.  Moreover, I’m not talking about combat from a tent 10 miles in the rear either; I mean seeing people die and be maimed day in and day out and having to keep up the fight (sorry for the bluntness, but it’s true, and God bless our medical officers/corpsmen, I think they have it the worst.)  I can’t even pretend to understand it, because I’ve never lived it, but I know what it means to my family.

The first two weeks are so are great, like a second honeymoon.  Then it all starts gradually.  I think a lot of the conflict comes from the fact that the two of you had completely different lives for the past few months.  For example, if I wanted to watch a “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” marathon, I could do that, without any complaining.  He’ll often be picky about the way I did things when he was gone; the garage isn’t clean enough or I didn’t pressure wash the driveway.  I think this is his way of feeling as though he’s needed and important.   Needless to say it often turns into World War III.

Another contributing factor is the fact that they’ve been so high strung and reactive, that sometimes it’s difficult to turn that part off.  When he first gets home, it seems like he stresses/flips out about the most trivial matters, the proverbial hair trigger.  Throw in some guilt and anger to compound the situation and it can be a rough time as far as marriage is concerned.  I try to keep everything low key for the first few weeks.  I think it helps the kids, when he and I get back into a family rhythm.  Yes there are always bumps in the road, but this is what I’ve found works best for us.  It also helps the kids become more comfortable because they start to figure out that daddy going to work doesn’t mean he’s leaving for months on end.

While homecoming can be stressful, I think with patience and a gradual reintroduction everything will be okay.  In addition, don’t forget that the VA, the FRO,(Family Resource Officer) and the naval hospital have an abundance of help if/when you need it.

Have you had a rough time with homecoming?  How so?  How did you handle it?

I hate mowing the lawn (I think most allergy sufferers do!) I kind of appreciate  my husband Jon a lot more now that it’s time to start doing a ton of outdoor work.  Thankfully, I have a super cool neighbor who has been helping me out a lot.  It seems like there just aren’t enough hours in the day to take care of everything, inside and out, and work as well.  If it doesn’t get done, it will still be there tomorrow.  I’m not going to let it bother me, I’m only one person.

The past two weeks have flown by because I haven’t even had a spare second to breathe.  This week won’t be much better.  Vannah’s getting her tubes put in so I have to be in Wilmington two days in a row!  I’m not complaining though; don’t get me wrong.  It makes the time go by much faster.

As I write this, I’m making an attempt to get a handle on the continuous laundry crisis we seem to have.  Just about everything has been washed (one load in the dryer and one that has to go in after that.)  The dishes are done, I got a bunch of entrees cooked for the upcoming week (that way we don’t have to do any fast food), and I’ll soon start picking up and cleaning so I don’t get woefully behind when the week starts.

All in all, things are going pretty smoothly.  I think keeping busy is a blessing; time literally flies by so I don’t have too much time to think about my husband’s deployment (I don’t even know where last week went.)  I’ll keep you posted (hoping to hear something about homecoming dates in the next week or so!)

My husband Jon’s still gone on deployment, big  surprise! LOL!  However, now it is rumor time.  I’ve heard every date from now until August.  It’s actually rather ridiculous.  I think the thing that is the most horrible is I’m just so ready for him to be home that I’m looking for any glimmer of hope.  Communication through the family network has been shaky in the past, so I’ll just wait until I hear it from him.

I often think about why I miss him.  There are a lot of reasons, as you military wives know.  It’s nice to be able to be lazy and not have to do the dishes.  Jon will do them if I don’t feel like getting up off the couch.  It’s great not to have to be the bad guy all the time; there’s someone else to share disciplinary duty.  I haven’t put the Christmas tree away yet either …lol.  Moving furniture by yourself isn’t a picnic, might I add, nor is bathing Oreo, our dog.  Those are all Jon’s jobs.  I enjoy adult company; just having someone to clown around with in the evenings.  Sometimes it really hits home after the kids have gone to bed and the house is just silent.

I think the bottom line is it’s nice to not have to be completely in charge of everything all the time.  It’s nice to have the company, the help, and the backup.  When he’s home, there’s someone to pick up the slack when I decide to be lazy.  There’s someone to chill out with and to just be there.  I just have to get the kitchen tiled now before he gets back (anyone wanna help me move the fridge ?).  We really missed him today and we look forward to the day of his return.

What do you miss most about your husband/wife when they’re gone?