My son is in Kindergarten.  Still an age of innocence, right?!  I was dumbfounded by what came out of his mouth when he got angry the other day.  I stood there for a second thinking he didn’t really just say that to me and then proceeded to put him on timeout.  After speaking with him later about it I discovered that someone he considers a friend (and someone I consider a bad influence) uses “potty words” all the time.  So, we discussed our home “rules” again and set some future consequences for him using inappropriate language.  We try really hard not to expose our children to words we don’t want them using.  In fact, “stupid” is a bad word to us; we prefer to use silly instead.  It hit me the his outside influences are becoming stronger as he is away from home longer.  I know we cannot “shelter” him forever, but, really?  Kindergarten?!

So, how do we teach our children to differentiate which words and phrases are OK and appropriate and which are not?  Inside our homes we set the tone and the rules for what is OK.  However, when children hear things in movies or in stores it is OK to say, “ignore that,” or “we don’t say things like that.”   Yet, there are many times our children will hear things and will most likely try repeating them for effect.  It is best not to get too angry until you discuss what they understand about what they just said.  Most often than not, our kids don’t really know what they are repeating.  It is a “parrot” affect.  However, once discussed, future rules need to be clear.

It is also a good idea to tell our children to stand up and tell their friends not to use certain language because it is offensive.  If they choose not to respect you, again it becomes a learning lesson in choosing our friends wisely.  If children are using foul language on the playground at recess, I want my children to tell an adult.  There is no reason to have “potty” mouths, especially at school where we should be teaching our children good grammar and words.  School is the last place I want my child picking up inappropriate language or manners.

Here is a neat article about different reasons a child may use “bad words,”  it’s not always what we think.

How do you handle when your child uses a new word that may not be acceptable in your home?  Do you think a child should be encouraged to tell an adult or teacher or do you view that as tattling?

As some of you may know, I am a teacher. I have taught high school, middle school and currently…pre school. In that time I have worked with many kids at all age levels. No matter what age the child, something my father told me (and research backs up) sticks in my head. When it comes to your children…what you have at 5 years old is what you are going to have.

Now some might call this a negative and defeatist point of view….that a person cannot change after 5 years of age. From my experience, I can tell you that sadly, it is all too true without some great intervention. What saddens me is that so many parents do not seem to understand this point. I have seen three year olds who hit (and have quite the attitude when you tell them to apologize), 13 year olds who have no issue ignoring a teacher’s direction and five year olds who do not know the difference between a letter and a number. In each of these cases it is fairly certain that they have parents who either don’t care to do any better or don’t have the knowledge to do better. Either way, they are creating children who will have behavior issues and academic issues in school…never mind in their adults lives.

It is HARD work raising a child. There is no time to be lazy or tired…it is 24/7 if you do it right. All parents make mistakes but too many parents take the easy way out. They allow their toddlers and pre schoolers to dictate too much, they don’t take the time to read to their children because they are too busy or they expect school to do it all for them. I know that most parents think their child is perfect, but more need to take a step back and make sure they are doing all they need to so that same child can lead a productive life free of stress down the road.

What do you think? Do you feel most parents work as hard as they should at parenting?

My brother wished me another Dysfunctional New Year.  It made me think of this magnet that a close friend gave to me shortly after we met.  It was an unspoken understanding and a reminder to be positive.  I love this magnet not just because of who gave it to me, but because it puts “normal” in a different light.   All jokes aside, many of us didn’t grow up in “normal” families.  Being military, some may view our lifestyle as dysfunctional.  I feel like it’s my responsibility to put the fun back into my children’s life when our lifestyle can sometimes seem dysfunctional with my husband’s frequent absence.

Many remind me that there is no “normal.”  Some define dysfunction as high drama.  Whatever it is, I believe my brother was still wishing me a Great New Year’s!  It also made me think of what my resolutions would be this year.  I can be a little type A and I don’t like failure or setting goals and not achieving them, so my resolutions remain unwritten and are still under current thought process.

I do know that with a new year, my tween will be turning 11 and getting closer to many life changes.  I know that hormonally we will definitely need to replace fun in the dysfunction.  I know that I need to continue teaching her life skills, social skills, and trying to emulate the type of person  I would like her to become.  Which means, I need to do better.  I need to resolve to be a better example and role model.  I need to work on my insecurities so that I don’t “spread” them to her.  I need to be quick to admit I’m wrong, quick to forgive and be willing to “fight” for what’s right and what is worth saving.

What are your New Year’s Resolutions?  How are you going to put Fun into the New Year?

Do you ever have those moments when you realize that your tween is changing and growing up?  I feel like I am having these moments all the time with my tween lately.  I see his expressions change, his understanding brighten and his face changing from his sweet boyish features into a more mature version of himself.  At the same time, he is such a kid full of boundless energy and excitement for life!

Lincoln is my first child to enter these tween years.  Here are some tips on how to positively manage and work with tween behaviors;

*  When dealing with angry tweens, make sure you set limits on how they’re allowed to express their feelings. Violent out bursts, physical aggression, and disrespectful behavior should not be tolerated. It’s important to teach your tween now how to responsibly manage his or her emotions. Doing so will make the teen years much easier for both of you.

*  Moody tweens often need time alone in order to calm down and put things into perspective. If your tween struggles with mood swings, help him find ways to deal with his emotions positively. He could listen to music, read a book, or spend time playing video games.

In my mind, a good teacher is up there as a one of the most important things you can have for your children!  In our school life so far, we have been very blessed with good teachers.  This sweet teacher in the picture has been important in both of my children’s lives thus far.  They have both had the honor of being in her classroom, feeling of her love and learning from her!!

I’m sure there are many stories you as parents have of good and maybe not so good teachers.  Do teachers realize the great responsibility they have to our children?  Do they realize they are teaching incredible lessons to our children?  Do they know they are at the foundation of these children’s lives and education?  So far in our life, my children’s teachers know this and embrace this!!  I know that sending them off each day they are in good hands.  I know they are receiving a solid education, I know they are protected and I know they are loved!!  At the same time, these sweet teacher’s are also teaching them accountability and discipline for their actions!!  This knowledge for me is such a breath of fresh air!!

All you teachers out there….Thank You!!  We know your job is not an easy job!  We know you are often exhausted, frustrated and spent!!  We know you love our children and want the best for them!!  Thank you for being such a wonderful part of our children’s educational foundation!!

What are some experiences you have had with great teachers?