Pre-teens who spent more than two hours a day in front of the TV or computer were at greater risk of having psychological problems than youngsters averaging less screen time, even if the kids also tended to be physically active, new research finds.

The study, published online Oct. 11 and in the November print issue of Pediatrics, found that the risk of psychological difficulties increased by about 60 percent when kids between 10 and 11 years old spent more than two hours daily watching TV or playing on the computer.

“Children who spent more than two hours per day watching television or using a computer were at increased risk of high levels of psychological difficulties,” regardless of how physically active they were, study lead author Angie Page, from the Centre for Exercise, Nutrition and Health Sciences at the University of Bristol in England, and colleagues found.

Still, the experts stressed that the study can’t discern whether media exposure causes psychological woes in kids, or whether troubled children simply prefer spending time in front of computers or the TV.

Previous studies have linked excessive TV viewing with childhood obesity, and both TV and computer use have been associated with psychological problems and an increase in sedentary time, according to background information in the study.

Page said the researchers decided to undertake this study because while it’s known that physical activity is good for both physical and mental health in children, it wasn’t clear if high physical activity levels could compensate for the adverse effects associated with high TV and computer use.

The study included more than 1,000 children between the ages of 10 and 11. The youngsters were recruited from 23 schools in Bristol, and all of the children self-reported their TV and computer use.

The researchers had all of the children complete a Strengths and Difficulties questionnaire, which is designed to measure psychological difficulties, such as hyperactivity, inattention, social problems and conduct issues.

“The difficulties measured by this questionnaire are not subtle things,” noted Dr. Alan Mendelsohn, an associate professor of pediatrics at the New York University School of Medicine in New York City. “These are big-deal issues, like hyperactivity, difficulty with peers and friends, poor conduct and antisocial kinds of behaviors.”

Overall, most children reported spending between an hour or two a day on TV and computer use for entertainment. On average, boys were moderately to vigorously active for an average of 83 minutes per day, versus 63 minutes for girls, according to the study.

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Body image is something that we all struggle with.  Tweens are not exempt.  My daughter has asked why she hasn’t hit the apparent growth spurt her friends have.  She wonders when that “time” will come.  I am realizing more and more the importance of teaching her to love herself.  Embrace the good. Focus on her positive characteristics and character traits rather than outside appearance.  I am learning that as parents we have the responsibility and rights to set the tone and be better at exemplifying these within ourselves as well.  I am also learning (still) that there are appropriate times just to listen and not always solve or advise.  There are moments that our tweens just need to feel loved and need a hug of reassurance.

Author Donna Fish wrote, “so what is a parent to do who is hoping to help her tween emerge into the teenage years and adulthood with any semblance of self esteem? Here are some tips:

1) Don’t EXPECT them to maintain a ‘positive body image’. If it happens, terrific. If not though, don’t worry that they are abnormal. In fact, they are completely normal.

2) They will try to ‘off load’ the ‘bad feelings’ about themselves onto you. This is done by telling you things like: “I hate my thighs”, or: “I always look terrible”. They need to ‘off load’ the intensity of their feelings and unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you think about it, you are their target. That way, they get to relieve the pressure. Oh, the joys of motherhood!

3) Their negative and critical comments may trigger in you feelings of responsibility for needing to help them have ‘good self esteem’. This is not your problem. Your job is to help them ‘tolerate’ the feelings without acting in a self destructive manner. You do this by surviving their ‘dumping’ their feelings onto you at times, and otherwise, ‘get out of the way!

4) Their self criticism may trigger your own self criticism. About yourself as a parent, or about your own body. Be aware of anything that you notice and separate your own feelings out as much as you can.

5) If they say nothing, don’t think it is necessarily a reflection of a positive body image. They might be hiding their feelings for some reason.

6) Watch out for drops in weight and ongoing weight loss. Seek professional help if this continues and/or they are starting a binge/purge cycle.

7) Try not to get sucked into their drama. They will do everything as I said, to ‘offload’ the feelings, often in the form of a fight. This actually might help distract everyone and will inevitably happen at times, but try to decrease the amount of times you get sucked in.

8)  Take many deep breaths. Remind yourself that it is not your job to help them ‘feel better’. It is your job to give them space to work this out and feel it themselves. Become a little hard of hearing.”

Have your tweens expressed concern over their image?  How do you foster better self esteem with your tween?

My tween has a dilemma.  As parents we are supportive of her desire to dance.  However, she wants to take 2 different dance classes on 2 different days (which we think is fine since the studio is close to our home), but she has adamantly stated that 2 days is too much with her homework.  Her dilemma, “maybe I shouldn’t dance because the class I want to take requires me to take ballet too.”  I admire my tween for knowing her limitations.  Even watching her try to express her feelings about what she is doing this year at school was getting her worked up.  Obviously we want her to enjoy dance and we don’t want to push her.  We want to encourage and be supportive.  The age old question remains, “to be or not to be?”

I wish I could wave a magic wand and create time for my tween to relax, to have less homework, to be less of a perfectionist and to cut herself some slack.  Our tweens are under academic, social, emotional and athletic pressure.  I think I have it bad, but I’m not sitting at a desk for 7 1/2 hours a day and then coming home to another hour and then needing to sleep to repeat it again.  My tween needs down time, play time, creative time social time and learning to build that into her routine can be challenging.

When I think I have it hard or that I’m worn down, I quickly realize it is nothing in comparison to the pressures that our children are facing.  As a parent I am constantly evaluating and re-evaluating to make sure I’m not pushing, expecting or “forcing” my tween to be more scheduled than she can handle.  With the start of school I am reminded with the schedules sent out and the new grading methods of fourth grade how stressful it could appear to a tween.

Participating in activities that release energy, are enjoyable and are fun are all beneficial to relieving high stress levels.  Communication is essential.  Evaluation and Reality is important to.  Listening is essential when trying to decide what to participate in or not.

How do you help your child find balance in their schedules?  How do you teach your tween how to relieve stress in a positive and healthy manor?

We live in a state full of American history.  I love the fact that we have so many day trips to visit that can make history become alive.  My family is able to learn faster and relate better when experiencing things first-hand. 

We recently were able to go to New Bern and participate in a re-enactment of Independence Day as it would have been celebrated in the year 1836.  We met many people from that time period and were taught how to make corn-silk dolls, played Graces, joined the townball (benders) game, and danced to the fiddle.  By participating in free events that local historical places offer, you are able to cement history through expereince in your tweens life. 

My tween was amazed at the colonial costumes and remarked how hot she was on that particular day.  It allowed me to talk more about the dress of the times and that they would have been wearing the long dresses and many layers with no option of shorts or other “styles” of clothing.   She was able to ask questions about the games they had to play and quickly realized the simplicity of time. 

There are many opportunities of exposing our children to “living” history here in NC.  This same week were able to go to Fort Fisher with some friends and learn about the Civil War.  Being a Yankee myself, we were able to discuss the Confederate and Union with our children.  We were able to discuss the reason we were fighting.  My tween asked question after question and I was happy.  I was happy because learning happens when we question.  It means she was thinking.  The best part of it was that she didn’t even realize that our day adventure was educational.;)

We have many other places in NC to explore like Cherokee, Winston-Salem, Willington, etc.  This website offers 27 places of interest to visit to bring history to life in our state.  Whether native or transplanted here, make history come alive for your tween!

What places have you discovered locally that has brought history to life for your tween? 

This is Jake’s third summer as a swimmer; Sam learned how to swim last summer. They had a wonderful teacher (Susan at JCC) and they both love time at the pool. For me, as a mom, there is no price to be put on the fact that I no longer need to tug them around in the water and I can feel OK if my eyes are off of them for more than five seconds while the life guards watch them. My question this summer is whether or not I should pay for the swim lessons they still want.

I know part of the reason they still want them is that they love Susan. She is a kindergarten teacher and her personality was a great fit for the boys. They never once complained about having to get up for lessons. I also know there is still a lot she can teach them. They can only get stronger and better, but that would come at a price and they don’t really NEED it..we all WANT it.

I still don’t know what I will do about signing up. The first session is already decided for us since it conflicts with tennis lessons, but after that…I will have to decide if it would be worth the cost. I suppose it is like so much else in life…you reach one goal and as soon as you get there….you start to look for a new one. They already learned how to swim…that was ALL I wanted….at least I thought it was.

Did your tweens take swim lessons after they learned to swim? What about swim team? A better option?