Each year I make it a point to take the boys shopping with me for someone they don’t know. We usually choose a name off the angel tree at the mall or a family out of the list in the newspaper who is in need. They like looking for baby gifts or cute outfits for toddlers….the whole time I try to remind them how lucky they are and that we need to share what we have with others.

Luckily school also helps drive this message home with community service projects and things like a recent visit to a nursing home to sing and deliver goody bags. I just want to be sure Jake and Sam understand that not everyone has the things they do and not everyone can help themselves sometimes.

It is very easy to get wrapped up in how much “stuff” a person can have…we need a new TV, a bigger car, a bigger house….the list could go on and on. The boys hear us talk about things like this and while that is our reality (we really do need a bigger house:)), I want them to understand how wonderful our home is and how some people live with a lot less than we do. I want them to WANT to reach out and help others…not just do it because mom made them.

As the boys get older, it is my hope that they will continue to enjoy the shopping and the giving. I hope they want to do those things throughout the entire year and not just at Christmas time. I really do think they know that they have it pretty good and while they should not feel bad for that, they should recognize that their good fortune means they have more to share.

What do you like to do with your tweens to teach them about sharing what they have?

As my tween is growing older, her gifts seem to get more practical and expensive.  Her request this year…a computer.  Only Santa knows how we adapted to this request.   We are grateful for some wise friends who once shared with us their Christmas gift policy to keep things into perspective, especially now with the economy and the reality of present finances.  They suggested 3 gifts representing gifts from the wise-men.  One gift is a want.  One gift is a need.  One gift is a “spiritual” gift.  Once you add in the gifts given from friends, neighbors, and family, there are plenty to go around.

I recently read in a Family Fun magazine about another idea to help our children learn about giving.  Each person has a jar of simple acts of kindness listed on strips of paper.  They also have a star box.  Daily you pick an act of kindness and perform it secretly and then when it is done, place it in the star box.  On Christmas morning you place the star box under the tree as a gift to Jesus.  I told my tween about it and she got excited like the other children.  The purpose is to teach giving and without recognition and teaching the “feel good” is the gift you receive from giving.  It could be simple acts like: smile at a stranger, hold the door open for someone, make someone’s bed, leave secret kind messages, do a chore without being asked, etc.

With the economy, there are many creative ways to give gifts that don’t cost money and keep us focused on the real reason for the season.  Even if you can’t “adopt” a family this year, giving what you can will still make the family feel good.  Think about donating time at a soup kitchen, donating gently used toys or books or outgrown coats to shelters.  Visit a Nursing Home and carol as a family.  Make cookies or breads for neighbors.  Remember those without families.

May this season be a season of creativity, gift giving and teaching our tweens that gifts don’t need to be bought, they can be gifts of the heart.  Handmade.  Made with love and freely given to those who may be forgotten.  Let’s teach our children how blessed we are despite the hard economic times.

How do you help your children understand gift giving?

With Thanksgiving tomorrow, many are turned to thoughts of gratitude.  It is a season to reflect on our blessings.  However, many can become so overwhelmed with the to-do’s of the season that the feelings we should be having of gratitude are overshadowed with packing, traveling, shopping, etc.   How do you teach your tween to be grateful and not to get caught up in the sometime stresses we face in holiday situations?.   I think making gratitude the focus of the season will help our tweens stay focused and us too!

Some ways we can get our tweens active in the community and in the family is to focus on the reason for the seasons:

1.  Volunteer as a family at a soup kitchen, USO, Wounded Warriors, Fisher House or other avenue that provides meal for those without family or who are not traveling during the holidays.

2.  Have someone over who doesn’t have family or kids and are not traveling.

3.  Visit a Nursing Home Residents to share holiday cheer.  Sometimes a smile  or a handshake can be most memorable.

4.  Enlist the help of your tween in planning, shopping and preparing the meal and make it a teaching moment.

5.  KISS…Keep It Simple Sweet…meaning…don’t stress out over making it perfect, make it simple and sweet and enjoy each other.

6. Establish traditions that can be looked forward too and shared together and is predictable.  For example, we always decorate for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving.  We listen to Christmas music and decorate the house and tree together.

With so many things to be grateful for, remember to slow down and reflect.  Our children learn from us what is important in life.  The things we do, the things we focus on, the things we think about and talk about is all teaching our children.  I am grateful for so many things, especially our freedoms that come with a price.  I’m grateful for a secure job, a hardworking husband, three great kids, a home, heat, food, opportunities, trials and so many more blessings.

What do you do to teach about this season of gratitude?

This past week has been a hectic one. I can see that the coming week won’t be any less busy. There was a big build up to Halloween at home and school, a visit from my mom, car shopping, Kerry home and now a new month at work with conferences and Thanksgiving. There has never been a year that I have looked so forward to our family time at the beach for the holiday.

This is the first year I have truly worked outside of the home since I had Jake. I have worked from home teaching online and I was an assistant teacher last year, but this year I am the lead and it means a lot more work. I have more planning to do, more responsibility and the boys seem to have more on their plates (which really means my plate:)) While I am thrilled with my work/life balance and the way things have fallen into place….this past week made me long for the days of browsing Target on a Tuesday morning without the kids.

I applaud all those moms who work full time outside the home and juggle all of their mom duties. I am not afraid to say that I could not do it…I would crumble. The work hours I have now are all I can take with Jake and Sam…..one more a week and I think I’ll reach a tipping point! I just hope that the short month at school will mean a little less stress and a lot more relaxing

What about you? Does this time of year up your stress level?

Between the bad economy, having kids, paying education off and debts, Staycations are becoming the new family vacations for a lot of families.  For our family too.  With holidays coming up, long weekends, and a husband who will be working through the holidays, we are trying to figure out if we should go visit the closest family to us, which accumulates to 2 travel days or just to stay put and relax.  Where we used to jump up and head off to Myrtle Beach for a weekend away, we now translate that into extra payments, house improvements, etc.  We decided to put our childrens’s opinions to the test.

Both our oldest children said, “we love family, but we don’t like being in the car all day, we never see Dad, we’d rather be home when Dad is at home.”  Now we are weighing everything out and making decisions.  We need to guard our family time.  Last weekend we were all out on the trampoline and loving just laying together and looking at cloud shapes.  It was free family fun!

In an recent Psychology Today article by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D, she states the many benefits to families about stay-cations.  For the full article, read here.

One of the points she makes is that travel advertising and media often lure or appeal to us with statements that make us believe we ‘have’ to see certain monuments or ‘experience’ certain things.  However, even the Mona Lisa is listed as people’s most disappointing thing in Europe.  SO, instead of being convinced that vacations have to be bigger to be better, stay put and explore your community, rest, relax, work together and have fun!

With approaching holidays, are you making plans to skip town or are you staying around to save money?  What things do you enjoy doing on your stay-cations?