One thing I felt inadequately prepared for when I left for college was homework habits.  Yes, I had completed assignments, made the grades, and made it to college…but with diagnosed test anxiety.  I had a few coping skills, but felt overwhelmed leaving home and being in a new state at a huge university and now being left to my own devices to create homework habits.  For this reason, I have tried really hard to teach my children tips for creating healthy homework habits and strategies.

Although school just started, my tween has found herself with homework.  Knowing that she has limited time, she has discovered how to make her quantity into quality to maximize the things she would like to do…dance and spend time with her family and play a little before bedtime.  Here are some healthy homework habits that we have discovered that maximizes our time together:

* Doing homework at the dining room table and with a proper chair for posture while I make dinner.

* Removing distractions- no music or TV is allowed on.  Since siblings can be distracting I have my Kindergartner doing workbooks “homework” at the same time and my toddler is in the kitchen in a high chair “mixing” flour to help “cook.”

* Making sure they have gone to the bathroom & snacked before sitting down for homework.

* Reviewing what they need to do and answering questions prior to them beginning.

I have also used a variety of the listed coping methods with my children, from this site: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/healthy-study-habits-for-students/ .

Homework doesn’t have to be dreaded or a hassle.  It can become family time and a continuation of the lessons that their teachers have begun.  Even when homework isn’t assigned, we have our daughter read out loud to us while we cook so that she can practice her reading, verbal and expressive skills.  When a child has gotten discouraged with tests or homework it is important to discuss what’s going on.  Since all children learn differently and schools tend to cater to the majority, your child may legitimately not be understanding what is taught.  By catching something like this early on, you can possibly avoid heartache, bad attitude, the desire to quit or an attack of your tween’s self esteem.

What homework habits does your family have that you have found helpful?

We have all survived the first week and a half of a new school year.  New classrooms, new dynamics, new teachers and new classmates.  As with most tweens, my daughter is not exempt from wanting to make new friends.  Since we are military and have lived here for almost 5 years, we have seen the constant move-ins and move-outs of our children’s friends.

My tween especially needs a close friend.  Unfortunately, she has not been able to make that “best friend” for a long time.  This year she knew a few girls in her fourth grade class and one was from her dance school.  She’s not only excited about having her in her class, she wants to do everything that she does, including taking 8 dance classes and dancing every day of the week!  She also wants to “dress to impress,” regardless of mom’s two cents about weather, matching or over accessorizing.  That’s quite the change from what my tween expressed last week before dance open house.  So, is this peer pressure or wanting and needing a new friend?

I am one to believe that a little healthy peer pressure can be good and so can making new friends.  I also think that taking dance will be good for my daughter as long as she can learn to be disciplined about homework and continue to do well without stressing herself out.  I am a little worried she may be over-scheduling herself, but thankfully, her dance director is very open and honest with me and willing to try this for a few months and then evaluate and readjust her dance schedule if necessary.

Being involved in extra curriculars helps boost self-esteem, helps build new friendships, teaches self-discipline, and has many positive affects for our tweens.  Although peer pressure normally has a negative connotation, it can sometimes be positive when those people or friends encourage you to stretch yourself and develop talents that you possess.   Despite last week’s article I wrote about to Dance or Not to Dance, my daughter has changed her mind again (surprise, surprise:)) and is now dancing 3 times a week in 4 different classes.  We did negotiate because of her siblings’ schedule and because I helped her realize that Mom isn’t superwoman.

I found this article especially helpful for my tween daughter… http://www.preteenagerstoday.com/resources/articles/girlyguide.htm

Have you found your tween faced with peer pressure?  Do your tween’s new friends encourage your tween to try new activities?  Do you believe peer pressure to be a negative or a positive?

Jake and Sam don’t start school until after Labor Day, but I have already heard the laments “I don’t want to have to do the work.” Shortly before or after that I always hear, “I am glad to be with my friends again.” I suppose it is the expected reaction……that is why most kids list recess as their favorite part of the day!

Jake with his best buddy

The boys are heading into first and second grade. Neither of them will be loaded down with homework, but they know soon they will spend at least thirty minutes a day at the kitchen island to get what work they do have done and that will be AFTER their 6 hours in class I have warned them that it only gets harder with more hours of work, but like most 6 and 7 year olds, they live in the NOW and the NOW means soon there will be no more sleeping until 8:30 and staying up until 9.

I am working on getting them back on their school schedule and I am focusing on the “friend” angle. They both enjoy school, but the reality of it staring them in the face after months of no real work or schedule is hitting them. The next few weeks will be a bit bumpy but I am strapped in and ready to go.

Are your tweens looking forward to getting back to school?