TweenBeat
kelly-gump

Thank Goodness I have Good Kids

Posted on November 24th, 2010 by Kelly Gump

I had a rough week last week. I was sick, sicker than I have been in years. My throat was sore, my ears ached and I still had to get to work and get the boys where they needed to be. To top it off, Kerry was still away at school so I was on my own. After two trips to he doctor and a few prescriptions, I was not feeling any better. Thankfully, Jake and Sam stepped up to the plate to help their mom out.

It’s funny how even a 6 and 7 year old can tell when they are needed. I did not have to get after them about cleaning up, they played quietly when we got home from school each day and they understood when we got take out for just about every dinner. They made the week as easy as they could for me.  When mom gets sick it is rough for the entire family. With one parent gone, Jake and Sam really needed to bring their “A” game and they did:)

I am really proud of the way the boys behaved for me this past week. Luckily, I am on the mend (finally) and they can get their old mom back. We can laugh and have some fun instead of all the grouchiness and me in bed 10 minutes after them. While getting back to normal will still mean some dinners out (I am no cook afterall:)), at least I can eat with them with a smile on my face.

How do your Tweens behave when you are under the weather? Are they helpful?

kelly-gump

Help! The Kids are Outgrowing the Car

Posted on October 30th, 2010 by Kelly Gump

About three years ago when gas prices were shooting through the room I got a new car. We had a Town and Country Mini Van and the cost to fill it up was getting too high. The truth was, we did not need all of that room for our day to day needs so we downsized and I could not have been happier.

We got a Mazda 5 and the cost to fill the tank went from nearly $60 to $35. I was able to fit into smaller parking spaces and I upgraded to leather seats and built in blue tooth. Things were good.

Like all good things, however, the happy times had to come to an end. While we still had our third row seat and the boys had their captains chairs….they also grew some VERY long legs and soon long trips were really uncomfortable. Even seeing Jake climb in for our daily trip to school made it clear that something had to change. Our recent trip to DC sealed the deal….we need to get more room and fast!

Of course more room comes with a higher price tag. I am excited at the prospect of a new car, but I know I’ll have to give up some things I have now as a trade off for size. My leather seats will be gone and no more dealer installed DVD player. Leg room is the priority now and I am afraid it always will be with our boys :) The truth is that Kerry and I are no slouches either at 5’11 and 6’1. The extra room will be good for all of us and we are being grown ups and being real about what we can afford and what we can’t. I can only hope the boys pay attention and learn a little lesson about that :)

What about your growing Tweens?  New cars, clothes, shoes…how do you keep up with the cost of an ever growing child?

kristen-paulsen

Tween Sleep Disturbance

Posted on October 22nd, 2010 by Kristen Paulsen

My tween has problems “turning her brain off”  and it is becoming increasingly more important to help her get the sleep her body desperately needs.  Her doctor recently recommended starting her on melatonin to help her sleep at night.  I’m one of these overprotective, neurotic moms that needs to research EVERYTHING before I can dive in and start something.  Like everything, doctors debate, research isn’t concrete enough to convince and there is a hesitation to try something new.  What to do?!

In the Child Health Monitor magazine they stated, “Sleep disturbance is common in childhood, and is particularly problematic in children with neurological problems such as learning difficulties, cerebral palsy, autism spectrum disorders and epilepsy, as well as children with visual impairment (partial or complete). This is probably because these children have difficulty recognizing and attuning their sleep cycle to the outside world’s sleep-wake cycle.”  My tween has a visual/auditory processing disorder.  Due to some issues at birth she was later found to have some minor developmental delays neurologically.  We first thought it was related to a different health issue.  Yet, once she had surgery the problems did not resolve.  Although she is in the gifted classes, she works very hard for her accomplishments, for which we are very proud of her dedication and self perseverance.

The Child Health Monitor described how melatonin works, “Melatonin, a hormone produced by the pineal gland in the brain, is increasingly being used to treat sleep disturbance in children. Melatonin is most commonly used for jet lag, but claims have been made that it also promotes general health and protects against the effects of aging. Melatonin helps regulate the body’s sleep-wake cycle and its production is determined by light and dark. When darkness falls, the pineal gland produces more melatonin, promoting sleep and regulating the body’s sleep-wake cycle with the outside world. Because of its use in promoting sleep, melatonin is increasingly used in the treatment of sleep disturbance in children. However, this particular use of the drug has been studied very little and in fact, melatonin is not licensed as a drug in most countries.”

Another physician Andrew Weil said, “To find out about the safety of using melatonin as a sleep aid for children, I consulted two experts: Rubin Naiman, Ph.D., a sleep and dream specialist and clinical assistant professor of medicine with the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona, and George C. Brainard, a melatonin expert at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia.

Dr. Naiman told me that children’s brains produce significant amounts of melatonin. Because of this, and since the effects of extra melatonin on development are unknown, sleep specialists have cautioned against using it with kids. Dr. Naiman noted that some preliminary data suggests that melatonin may be effective in helping developmentally delayed children, especially autistic kids, with sleep problems, but he said the essential question to explore in your son’s case is why he is having trouble sleeping. Addressing the underlying contributors is central to any long-term strategy.

Dr. Brainard said that taking melatonin supplements is safe when used for short periods of time, but for both adolescents and adults, the safety of taking them at higher doses for months or years is unclear. He also noted that when prescribed to children, melatonin has been effective and rarely associated with side effects (which can include seizures, more frequent seizures in kids with a history of them, hyperactivity, agitation, behavioral changes, worsening sleep patterns, nightmares and constipation).”

What’s your opinion?  Would you try it?

Jake and Sam had their first babysitter when they were pretty young. My mom and mother in law watched them a few times for us if we had appointments or wanted a night out. It did not happen often, but we lived two hours from our parents and it worked out well. During Kerry’s second (very long) deployment, I needed someone more frequently so I set out on a quest for that perfect sitter.

Anyone who has a good sitter knows how it feels….you can leave your kids and relax. You know they will be taken care of, kept in line and when you come home your house will still be in one piece. I had never looked for a sitter before, but I had a feeling I would know the right person when I met them. I hit the jackpot after interview #3 and three years after we left Ohio and Kelly, I still miss her :(

Kelly was a high school junior with younger siblings herself. She took care of the boys as if they were her family. She became part of our family…dinner out, going to watch her boyfriend play lacrosse…..she was my go-to when I had a doctors appointment or just wanted to get groceries in peace. Though we have had good sitters since then, none have compared to her.

Just this past month we had a new sitter with the boys and we all like her a lot. She was even able to handle Jake, Sam and two friends on her own for five hours….not too shabby. I hope, in time, she can come to mean as much to us as Kelly did, but I know those are big shoes to fill. Jake and Sam are the most important things in the world to me and though I don’t expect a sitter to feel the same, it sure is nice when they come close :)

Do you have a great sitter? Any nightmare stories about one that was not so great?

kristen-paulsen

Please don’t go

Posted on August 19th, 2010 by Kristen Paulsen

I am learning that as my tween gets older her separation anxiety has reached a different level and I now need to learn how to read in between the lines.  “Please don’t go” means stay close by, but not too close that it is “uncool.”  “I’ll go in by myself” means I want you to stay in the car where I can see you in the parking lot if I need to.  “Mom, I love you” means just that, but at separation also means “please don’t embarrass me and hug and kiss me unless I initiate.”  Separation anxiety is normal at all stages.  We all may feel anxiety or that twinge of nervousness when faced with new situations.  However, it does not need to be the end of all.

I believe a positive attitude and preparation can go a long way.  At the beginning of each school year most of us have opportunities to attend Open Houses to meet your child’s teacher…GO!!!  It is a perfect time to tour the school, show your child their classrooms and meet teachers.  By seeing their classroom, desks, meeting teachers and classmates and other parents it will relieve some of those first few days back to school jitters.  It is a good time to make it a positive and fun experience by pointing out the great things about their classrooms and school.  I love to document the open house, first day and last day of each year, so I can show my kids how happy they were at year end.  They often express how the first pictures they looked so nervous and we talk about why and how they overcame those feelings.

As parents our children/tweens follow our lead.  If we are positive about the school experience and use teaching moments prior to the start of school we can set the tone in our home and with our tween.  If you are sad to see your children go back to school as I will be, don’t show it.  You can tell them you will miss them and it will be sad, but you know they will have a terrific time and try to be there to talk with them as soon as they return.  I always cry after the kids go to school.  First because I miss them.  Second,because I realized how grown-up they have become.  Third, because I’m proud of the people they are becoming.  Lastly, because I’m sleep deprived and I’m overcome with joy that I can nap again.;)

Talk about what they are excited for and what they are “dreading.”  Ask what special privileges they will get by being a grade older.  I try to attend all school functions in support of my child as well as volunteering.  Not everyone can, but that doesn’t mean they they don’t want to.  I have found reassuring other children as well that their parents love them and would be there if they could helps others too.  Especially in a military community.  If you can, try to have lunch every so often at school with your child, especially within those first few days of school.  Even though we may be reading in between the lines with our tweens, they still need our love and reassurance that we do miss them and they will be fine.

I found very helpful information on this website.

What do you do to help address your tween’s separation anxiety, especially going back to school?




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