Editor’s note: Jessica Lowe is a regular blogger for our CuddleBugs blog.
Dear Jakob,
Ten years ago you came into my life. You arrived here safely and perfectly. You were my first son, my first CHILD at that. Overnight, you became everything to me. I learned how to fall in love all over again when my eyes met yours, when they handed me your small body, and when you looked up at me and depended on me for your every need.
As you began to grow and learn, I felt as though I had lost pieces of you forever. I knew I would never get back those first few months. I knew that your tiny gummy mouth and your clean baby smells would soon fade, but I was so excited to see you get bigger that I didn’t focus on those things too much.
When you turned two, I decided that I wasn’t going to let you get any bigger. I wanted to hold you and squeeze you super tight so you couldn’t grow up! It seemed like every moment I spent with you I needed to capture in my thoughts for eternity. I didn’t want to lose any moment. I still remember us sitting at your toy play kitchen set (that your dad forbade you to get but you still did!) as you made me a delicious plate of plastic hamburgers and french fries.
Where did those days go? It feels like only last week we were best friends, best pals, best mates.
Last week you turned 10, double digits. You look so incredibly handsome, identical to your father, lucky you! You’re a wild and crazy boy who spends almost every spare minute outside playing war with your friends. You stink when you come inside and you’re starting to pick up on some yucky tween habits of leaving your clothes on the floor, or complaining about doing chores.
Still, you’re my baby Jake. I can still see your precious face when I look deep into your eyes and I know that even though you may not show it like you used to, you still love me.
I won’t lie, I miss you tiny, but to be perfectly honest, I SO enjoy you getting big. You amaze me EACH and EVERY day. You are WAY more than I could ever ask for. Your integrity is far beyond any other child your age and I admire you and learn from you in everything you do.
As much as I want to be mad at you for growing up, I just can’t. I’m only incredibly proud. I love you.
Love,
Mom
