Another day off of school and the weather is predicted to be beautiful!  Although I love days off from school and having my children home, I do want them to know and understand and appreciate why we have a day off.  President’s day originally began to celebrate George Washington and then Lincoln’s birth dates.  However, it now is a date to celebrate not just our Founding Fathers, but all presidents who have served.  Being military, I think it is important to honor all who serve and support our government.

In 1968, Congress passed legislation placing any federal holiday on a Monday, including Washington’s birthday, to create a three-day weekend. In 1971, President Richard Nixon combined Washington’s and Lincoln’s birthdays into Presidents’ Day. It would be celebrated on the third Monday in February, regardless of which day it fell on. Presidents’ Day is now viewed as a holiday that pays tribute to both Washington and Lincoln, as well as all those who have served as president. 

My children have excitedly come home bearing posters and facts of the presidents.  We have played games with those facts.  We have tried to find presidents we relate to and have similarities with.  We have even discussed our favorites from past and present.  We have tried to come up with “motto’s” for each presidency.  It has already been a week of learning, studying and discovering.

Although it is always nice to have a day off, I still want my children to learn why we have the freedom to believe, speak, learn and live.  I want them to know their past so that they can change their future.  I am excited to spend time as a family (maybe on the beach:)) on this holiday!  Two Presidents who are notable swimmers are Ronald Reagan, who was a lifeguard before he became president; and John F. Kennedy, who enjoyed swimming at Martha’s Vineyard.  So in tribute to them, we’re off to the beach!

What do you have planned for president’s day?

My brother wished me another Dysfunctional New Year.  It made me think of this magnet that a close friend gave to me shortly after we met.  It was an unspoken understanding and a reminder to be positive.  I love this magnet not just because of who gave it to me, but because it puts “normal” in a different light.   All jokes aside, many of us didn’t grow up in “normal” families.  Being military, some may view our lifestyle as dysfunctional.  I feel like it’s my responsibility to put the fun back into my children’s life when our lifestyle can sometimes seem dysfunctional with my husband’s frequent absence.

Many remind me that there is no “normal.”  Some define dysfunction as high drama.  Whatever it is, I believe my brother was still wishing me a Great New Year’s!  It also made me think of what my resolutions would be this year.  I can be a little type A and I don’t like failure or setting goals and not achieving them, so my resolutions remain unwritten and are still under current thought process.

I do know that with a new year, my tween will be turning 11 and getting closer to many life changes.  I know that hormonally we will definitely need to replace fun in the dysfunction.  I know that I need to continue teaching her life skills, social skills, and trying to emulate the type of person  I would like her to become.  Which means, I need to do better.  I need to resolve to be a better example and role model.  I need to work on my insecurities so that I don’t “spread” them to her.  I need to be quick to admit I’m wrong, quick to forgive and be willing to “fight” for what’s right and what is worth saving.

What are your New Year’s Resolutions?  How are you going to put Fun into the New Year?

With the holiday season quickly approaching, we are reminded that they aren’t always happy for some who find themselves alone, abandoned or separated with distance from loved ones.  Are tweens exempt from the “blues?”  Absolutely not!  We need to look for the signs and be ready to listen, love and be aware!

Tweens are not exempt from the seasonal blues.  Especially when they have divorced parents, a parent serving and deployed in the military, or have had a parent or close person to them pass away.  The symptoms are the same for adults, however, the ability to handle the emotions and feelings may be different as it may be hard to communicate or peg point that’s where it’s coming from.

What are some symptoms for Seasonal Depression to be looking for:

1. Increase in headaches

2.  Too much or too little sleep

3.  Weight loss or gain

4.  Agitation, guilt, or an inability to concentrate

The warning signs for Stress include:

1. Pounding heart

2. Dryness in the mouth or throat

3.  Nervous tics, fatigue, loss of or excessive appetite

4.  Feeling an urge to cry, or increased irritability, restlessness, or depression.

So, this holiday season, be aware of your own emotions and also for your tweens.  Be on the lookout for signs and symptoms of possible problems.  Simplify.  Relax.  Keep a schedule, but try not to overschedule.  If you do have a child visiting another parent for the holidays, keep it upbeat and civil for the child’s sake.  No child/tween wants to upset a parent.  If you have a child with a deployed parent, take advantage of the programs the military offers, volunteer, send packages or cards to the troops and try to have some kid of communication.  If they get really bad or are refusing to talk, remember to seek medical and or professional help.

What have you found to be beneficial when dealing with emotional or moody tweens?

With Thanksgiving tomorrow, many are turned to thoughts of gratitude.  It is a season to reflect on our blessings.  However, many can become so overwhelmed with the to-do’s of the season that the feelings we should be having of gratitude are overshadowed with packing, traveling, shopping, etc.   How do you teach your tween to be grateful and not to get caught up in the sometime stresses we face in holiday situations?.   I think making gratitude the focus of the season will help our tweens stay focused and us too!

Some ways we can get our tweens active in the community and in the family is to focus on the reason for the seasons:

1.  Volunteer as a family at a soup kitchen, USO, Wounded Warriors, Fisher House or other avenue that provides meal for those without family or who are not traveling during the holidays.

2.  Have someone over who doesn’t have family or kids and are not traveling.

3.  Visit a Nursing Home Residents to share holiday cheer.  Sometimes a smile  or a handshake can be most memorable.

4.  Enlist the help of your tween in planning, shopping and preparing the meal and make it a teaching moment.

5.  KISS…Keep It Simple Sweet…meaning…don’t stress out over making it perfect, make it simple and sweet and enjoy each other.

6. Establish traditions that can be looked forward too and shared together and is predictable.  For example, we always decorate for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving.  We listen to Christmas music and decorate the house and tree together.

With so many things to be grateful for, remember to slow down and reflect.  Our children learn from us what is important in life.  The things we do, the things we focus on, the things we think about and talk about is all teaching our children.  I am grateful for so many things, especially our freedoms that come with a price.  I’m grateful for a secure job, a hardworking husband, three great kids, a home, heat, food, opportunities, trials and so many more blessings.

What do you do to teach about this season of gratitude?

Kerry has been home 20 months out of the last almost 48. The longest period of time he was home in a row has been 10 months. We have managed and, sadly, gotten very used to be doing things in threes instead of fours. As Kerry gets ready to return home after nearly 3 months away at school I am ready to say that I have had enough.

I don't mean to be a cry baby, but....

• I can handle the boys alone..I don’t want to
• I can handle taking care of the house on my own…I don’t want to
• I can live without a date night with my husband…I don’t want to
• I can buy and sell a house on my own…I don’t want to
• I can sit alone every night once the kids go to bed…I don’t want to

I don’t want to sound like a whiner, but the boys and I are worn out. Kerry has missed too many sports games the boys were in and too many school events. They are ready for their dad to be home and I am ready to feel married again. As I look ahead to the holidays and a possible job for Kerry in VA, I know this may all need to be put off yet again (I’ll have to keep you posted on the job front). I guess I need a day or two to just feel upset about and complain ALOT We will deal as we always have, but we hope for an end to all of this sooner rather than later.

Have you endured too much time apart? When did you “hit the wall” so to speak?