President Eisenhower signing HR7786, changing Armistice Day to Veterans Day. From left: Alvin J. King, Wayne Richards, Arthur J. Connell, John T. Nation, Edward Rees, Richard L. Trombla, Howard W. Watts

This week our kids will have a day off of school to honor Veterans.  It’s not just a day off.  It is meant to be celebrating the lives of those lost, as well as those serving and those living whom have served in war times.  It marks sacrifice, service, patriotism, honor and oftentimes loss.  Many Veterans live today with wounds, disease, injuries, and debilitating illnesses that were caused from their time served in other countries.  I was excited to hear my tween come home and say that they had been writing thank you notes to Veterans to be given out at VA hospitals.

What do you know about Veteran’s Day?  I’ll admit that I’m rusty on my history and that made me research so that I’ll have answers for my children.  A good source is, http://www1.va.gov/opa/vetsday/vetdayhistory.asp

So, what will you be doing in Veteran’s Day celebration?

Locally, many parades were held this past Saturday.  However, you can pay tribute to those lost by attending memorial services at a military cemetery, having your children visit or serve those at wounded warrior houses, visit the Beirut Memorial Wall, write letters of gratitude to those whom have served in war or who are currently serving, serve those families of soldiers whom have deployed, or call family members and express gratitude for their service in past war deployments.

This is our family’s second year having our Veteran home.  It has brought on new meaning to know firsthand of his sacrifice and of those whom he had served with.  We have learned empathy and increased gratitude by living through a deployment and knowing the sacrifice and toll is takes on the family and soldier/sailor.  We are grateful to live in a country where we have the freedom to choose, to vote, to believe and to raise our children how we view.

What will you be doing on your day off to teach your children about why we receive that day off?

The best part of holidays and birthdays are the traditions.  We all have created traditions…some are adopted from the families we came from, from friends, ideas we may have read or even started when you formed your little families.

The reason my tween loves traditions is because she knows what to expect and can count on it.  She knows that when her birthday rolls around each year that she will have family visit.  My parents have faithfully come for her birthday each year since she was born.  This will be the 4th year that my older brother’s family has also come to support and celebrate her.  In fact her great grandmother has also come several times as health permitted.

We are excited for October because we know family will come no matter what.  Is it easy for them?  No.  Sacrifices are made, planning is executed and long travel that involves children is carefully thought out.  Finances.  Scheduling work off.  Driving long distances.  Despite all the process, relationships have strengthened and my children know their cousins and aunts, uncles and grandparents.  Being military, we have not been as consistent or able to travel the same way, so we are extremely appreciative of this effort and tradition our families make.

Our family birthday tradition is to wake to the “birthday fairy” visit.  The children always run into the dining room to see balloons, banners, fancy decorations that the “birthday fairy” left.  They also get their favorite breakfast and dinner and are “queen” or “king” for the day.  What kid doesn’t like a party for a few days?!  We have had to sometimes get creative in what the fairy does, but it has become another well anticipated tradition.

Trivia fact quoted by a website  called www.kidsparties.com said,
“The tradition of birthday parties started in Europe a long time ago. It was feared that evil spirits were particularly attracted to people on their birthdays. To protect them from harm, friends and family would to come be with the birthday person and bring good thoughts and wishes. Giving gifts brought even more good cheer to ward off the evil spirits. This is how birthday parties began.

At first it was only kings who were recognized as important enough to have a birthday celebration (maybe this is how the tradition of birthday crowns began?). A formal ball was planned and announcementswere sent through the land. As time went by, children became included in birthday celebrations. The first children’s birthday parties occurred in Germany and were called Kinderfeste.”
What are your tweens most anticipated birthday traditions?  What do you do for birthdays in your home?

Last year my daughter and I started a Tween Book Club primarily with those girls for whom I had been a Girl Scout Leader for 3 years.  It was great, the girls learned leadership, loved furthering their friendships, gained a greater love of reading and improved scholastically.

As my tween gets older I am realizing how stretched I have become as a parent of 3 different aged children and how hard it is to give them each the individual time they need.  Last year I often heard some of the moms remorsefully state how they wish they had time to participate in a book club.

A friend had gotten me the box set to Mother Daughter Book club and this was the year to really get it going!  We invited tons of people, some we didn’t know that well, but all within the same grade and age level.  My tween said, “that was the BEST night I’ve had in a long time Mom, that was so fun!”  The moms organized, the girls contributed, everyone shared favorite summer or current reads, we created books titled to describe our relationship with our daughters and we left having a schedule for the entire year!  The best part of it was that we now all have a set weekend evening a month to spend with our daughters and entering “their” worlds.

Here are some tips for starting a tween book club:

* Organize and be detailed- how frequently?  what types of books? (we decided they had to be AR books so the children could use them at school too)

*  Limit the number of participants to between 6-10 tweens

*  Decide a location- we rotate based on which tween’s month it is, it could be at someone’s home, reserve a library room, a restaurant that is quiet enough to discuss, etc.

* Allow the Tweens to be the Leaders

* Make it Fun

* Have food

* Get creative- do crafts pertaining to the book, have food from the time period, come in costume

It has been fun seeing these girls pick their own books, lead their discussion on their month and introduce each other to different genres of books.  There are also book clubs at the local libraries, Barnes and Noble, the military base libraries or you could start your own!

“If you can read this, thank a teacher.”  Thank you Mom & Dad!  Both educators, both lover of books and both my examples to whom I owe my worth in books!  If I never travel I’d be OK with the many adventures and places my parents introduced me to through books.

How do you foster a love of reading with your tween?  As our tweens get older are you facing more resistance to read?  Have you read the classics with your tween?

This past week marked the first time Onslow county has had early release.  We were all excited about it until my children came home complaining about how early they had to take lunch, what “specials” they lost out on and the fact that they still got homework, so it wasn’t all that great in their minds.  I asked my tween what she thought it would be like and she responded, “like a day off, that just threw off my schedule.”

With 4 more early release days in the future I need to figure out how to make this a more positive experience for my kids.  Schedules and routines are huge for my children, especially my tween and since she can’t “function” until school work is complete we need to still have a “break” to take advantage of that time together.

My children seemed to enjoy the concept until the reality of how it went was presented.  My five year old had “lunch” at 9:30 am and my tween at 10:20am, which threw off when they wanted to eat next.  The buses ran late due to it being the first “run” of early release and that wasn’t great either.  Of course I felt for those parents who need to work and all boys and girls clubs were canceled causing people to be in a bind as well.  I understand the reason behind early release for the teachers, and I’m not opposed by any means.   I do, however, like the military schools way of doing it by having every Wednesday afternoon be early release for all schools.  That way it is predictable and it can become routine and instead of having ridiculously early “lunches,” classes can have normal lunch and those who have later lunches on average could just have a snack in class and skip “lunch.”

What are your thoughts on early release?  Do you favor the county’s new schedule or did you find resistance with your tween?

I am learning that as my tween gets older her separation anxiety has reached a different level and I now need to learn how to read in between the lines.  “Please don’t go” means stay close by, but not too close that it is “uncool.”  “I’ll go in by myself” means I want you to stay in the car where I can see you in the parking lot if I need to.  “Mom, I love you” means just that, but at separation also means “please don’t embarrass me and hug and kiss me unless I initiate.”  Separation anxiety is normal at all stages.  We all may feel anxiety or that twinge of nervousness when faced with new situations.  However, it does not need to be the end of all.

I believe a positive attitude and preparation can go a long way.  At the beginning of each school year most of us have opportunities to attend Open Houses to meet your child’s teacher…GO!!!  It is a perfect time to tour the school, show your child their classrooms and meet teachers.  By seeing their classroom, desks, meeting teachers and classmates and other parents it will relieve some of those first few days back to school jitters.  It is a good time to make it a positive and fun experience by pointing out the great things about their classrooms and school.  I love to document the open house, first day and last day of each year, so I can show my kids how happy they were at year end.  They often express how the first pictures they looked so nervous and we talk about why and how they overcame those feelings.

As parents our children/tweens follow our lead.  If we are positive about the school experience and use teaching moments prior to the start of school we can set the tone in our home and with our tween.  If you are sad to see your children go back to school as I will be, don’t show it.  You can tell them you will miss them and it will be sad, but you know they will have a terrific time and try to be there to talk with them as soon as they return.  I always cry after the kids go to school.  First because I miss them.  Second,because I realized how grown-up they have become.  Third, because I’m proud of the people they are becoming.  Lastly, because I’m sleep deprived and I’m overcome with joy that I can nap again.;)

Talk about what they are excited for and what they are “dreading.”  Ask what special privileges they will get by being a grade older.  I try to attend all school functions in support of my child as well as volunteering.  Not everyone can, but that doesn’t mean they they don’t want to.  I have found reassuring other children as well that their parents love them and would be there if they could helps others too.  Especially in a military community.  If you can, try to have lunch every so often at school with your child, especially within those first few days of school.  Even though we may be reading in between the lines with our tweens, they still need our love and reassurance that we do miss them and they will be fine.

I found very helpful information on this website.

What do you do to help address your tween’s separation anxiety, especially going back to school?