I recently had to go in for a sleep study.  Mainly to rule out some health issues.  Although I hesitated at the thought because, really, do moms ever feel completely rested?!  I thought motherhood is synonymous with fatigue.  I mean sleep has become highly overrated.  It’s not like it was what I remembered it.  During sleep studies they also ask questions about my children and what type of sleepers they are.  Honestly, none of us sleep well.  I have a family of snorers, sleep talkers and walkers.

I recently read an article that stated 60% of American children don’t get enough sleep.  Another study cited cellphones, Facebook, and video games were to blame.  Our elementary age children need 9-12 hours of sleep.  Experts say that sleep deprivation at any age can impair metabolism, immune functions, and motor skills, increase stress hormones, and cripple sugar metabolism.

So, maybe my lack of sleep accounts for my few extra pounds, poor health, high stress level and slow responses.  To think I attributed that to my age and motherhood.     I guess the answer is simple….my family all needs more sleep.  Sleep is important and I need to ensure we have good sleep habits, cause if “momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”

Signs of sleep deprivation:

* Can’t fall asleep within 15-20 minutes of going to bed

* Has a hard time waking in the morning

* Has trouble remaining alert and active during the daytime

Establishing good sleep habits is imperative for the healthy development of children. The National Heart, Lung, Blood Institute offers the following tips for parents to help get their kids to bed:

• Set a regular time for bed each night and stick to it.
• Establish a relaxing bedtime routine, such as giving your child a warm bath or reading him or her a story.
• Avoid giving children a big meal close to bedtime, and no caffeine within six hours of sleep.
• Make after-dinner playtime relaxing; too much exercise close to bedtime can keep children awake.
• Keep the noise level down and the bedroom dark. If some light is necessary, use a small nightlight.

Do you get enough sleep your body needs?  How about your children?  Any tips to get higher rate sleep?

There isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not amazed at the amazing odors that emanate from smelly socks, stinky feet, breath, body odor and the constant need for reminders on good hygiene.

From the time our children were infants, we taught them to brush, regularly bathed them, washed their hair, washed their clothes, brushed their teeth.  Part of teaching our growing children is teaching them proper habits.  I get so frustrated thinking it should be common sense at this age, especially for my tween.  However, it’s a whole different world for them and let’s be honest, they aren’t even aware of odors like we are.

I have had to create a chart for each of my children of what needs to be done…daily!!!  I try to let them be responsible, however, they are quick to say that they don’t care if they skip a step, no one would care.  I do.  Perhaps I  have an overly sensitive olfactory system, but this laissez-fare attitude needs to stop!  Thankfully, in a conversation with a friend, I discovered my children are not alone and neither am I.  Many parents struggle with having their children carry through with hygiene tasks.

Change your strategies.  You want your child to wash her hands for 15 seconds. It’s hard enough to get an adult to do this, let alone a child, so here’s the trick: Ask your child to sing the Happy Birthday song. It takes about seven seconds to sing it, so during the first round they can be scrubbing; during the second they can be rinsing. Also show kids how to lather up correctly. The right technique involves rubbing hands thoroughly on both sides, as well as get in between fingers and rub the tips of fingers.

Tricks and treats can work!  A spokesman for the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry came up with this strategy when his oldest child was a toddler and began refusing to brush her teeth. What did he and his wife do? They sang and danced in the bathroom, knowing that their daughter would walk by soon. When she did, she asked what they were doing. When they said they were brushing each other’s teeth, she ran away. She came back a few minutes later to find them doing the same thing, and she said she wanted to try that. Dr. Hanna replied: “Oh, you’re too little. You have to be a big person. You can’t do this.” And he closed the door. His daughter then opened the door, and said she wanted to brush too. “So we got her a toothbrush, and she brushed my teeth, and I brushed hers. Then she brushed my wife’s teeth, and my wife brushed mine,” says Dr. Hanna. “The next day, my daughter was fine.”

What are some of your tried and true tips on teaching hygiene?

Remember when all you could think about is that man that swept you off your feet?  Those eyes that sparkled as you locked in gazes at each other.  That smile that could melt away any insecurities you may have had.  The feeling that you are the most beautiful woman in the world and obviously the luckiest to have each other.  Well, it’s Valentine’s week and it’s time to feel the love.  I received my sweet cousin’s wedding invitation this past week (don’t they look so in love?!) and I was reminded of those feelings for my own husband as I looked at their engagement announcement.

As time passes and kids come along it is hard to feel that same connection.  People work, stresses occur, reality hits, children come along and before you know it conversations are focused around bodily fluids and the kids.  Both are exhausted and the routine starts over day after day after day.

Remember when a date is what you looked forward to, prepared for, primped for and thought about all week?  Well, that is why wise men have counseled to have weekly dates with our spouses.  It doesn’t have to cost money.  It doesn’t have to  be elaborate.  Yet, it takes time and preparation.  Failure to plan is planning to fail.  Just like we schedule appointments for doctors, work, clients, etc.  We must set that time aside for each other.  When my husband & I have gone out, my children are so happy to have their sitter.  Why?!  Not because they don’t like us, but because they get a break, it’s fun and they know that Mom & Dad are taking care of their marriage.  Children need to feel secure.  We live in a society that is heavily inundated with divorce, nontraditional family situations, separations, etc.  Even our children have said things when they don’t see us going out for a while.  They hear so many stories from friends that they worry.  Children want to see their parents taking care of them and their marriage partners.

If money is stopping you from going out with your sweetheart, remember, you can’t afford not to.  Suggestions on low cost dates:

Find a couple to swap babysitting with

Go to the gym together

Go on a walk on the beach and talk, throw a Frisbee or football

Pack a picnic and go to a local park

Happy Valentine’s week, hope you made it one to remember when.

What are some of your favorite pre-children memories/dates?

Last week celebrated another report card.  It also marked an early spring as Phil did not see his shadow! In my books, there is plenty to celebrate! We do not pay our children for grades. We do not pay them for chores.  However, we do like to do spontaneous celebrations of them. This includes theme nights, favorite foods, family fun, favorite game, etc. The best part about it….you never know when Mom is going to surprise you with a celebration, hence, our family motto, every day’s a party!

Celebrating doesn’t take a lot of preparation, money or decor. It takes good ole’ fashion time. I’m realizing how much my children have come to value that time with family. They value the surprises and celebrations. It encourages us to be our best self. It encourages cooperation, teamwork and being each other’s cheerleaders. Family is a reason to celebrate in itself. Perhaps I’m getting old and more sentimental, but I look at my almost 11 year old and I realize that she has less time at home now than not. I look at my younger two and realize that time is too precious to waste wishing I would have. It’s time to do. Do the things I think about and not have regrets.

As we looked at the comments about our children on their report cards, of course we were proud at their grades, but more importantly we are proud about the great people they are becoming. That is reason to celebrate!

My boys favorites is good ole’ hamburgers.  My daughters favorites is anything fancy.  So, last week called for fancy drinks, “restaurant-style” serving and a family meal of conversation and praise. There are so many ways we can celebrate each other, but what is important is that we do it. Don’t take accomplishments for granted. Make sure you are equal or at least equally showing each person you care and love them. I love to watch my 19 month as she gets celebrated for helping to set the table….is it perfect, NO. However, when she gets thanked and acknowledged, there is nothing cuter than her clapping for herself.

How do you celebrate hard work and accomplishments in your home?

I remember being pregnant for the first time and finding out I was having a girl.  All I knew was that a baby was a baby, could there really be a difference?.  As time went on, girl was all I knew.  What my daughter did was what all children did, right?  Wrong. Almost five years later we had a son.  Again, people would ask if I was nervous about having a boy.  Why should I be? Well, to be honest I was, my biggest fear was how am I supposed to potty train him like a boy?  Silly I know but the differences between children is greater than anatomy.

Without getting scientific, I am going to state my own mom perspective.  I believe all children are equally different.  Some are “pre-wired” while other traits are learned environmentally.  Yes, the ole’ nature vs. nurture.  I have discovered that both children will do what is asked, but yield very different results. For example,  if I ask my son, who is in Kindergarten, to color certain items a color, he does it.  Albeit, he scribbles to quickly complete the assigned task and is ready for another task within second.  However, my daughter will take her time and meticulously color and it seems like a tortuous amount of time.  When I ask my son to clean, he stands there, evaluates the task and delegates to his sisters what he thinks needs to be done. (Did I mention he usually delegates the whole task back to someone else?) If I ask my daughter to do the same thing, she does it.  Both children respond differently emotionally, educationally and physically to stimuli.  Is there a difference, you bet!

I found this article very informative about gender differences and explaining the differences that come with gender vs. the scientific reasons based on the amount of chemicals in our brain development.  This doctors article explains some things in a way I never considered.  Either way, it is up to us a parents to expose our children to tasks normally associated with both genders to give them experience, opportunities and skills.

Do you think there is a significant difference between boys and girls?  Why or why not?