I have been a Mother for almost eight years now.  Maybe a little bit longer if you count the time I was pregnant with my tween.  I remember how excited my husband and I were to be pregnant with our first child!  I have always been one of those girls who dreamed of being a Mother. Having our first son was also a dream come for me. Motherhood was a little harder then I thought it would be. It wasn’t me just goo-ing over my perfectly dressed child all day!  Since that first child, we have been blessed with two more children. Blessed being the key word, we have been so blessed!!

I continue to love being a Mother!  I love staying home with them, learning from them and growing with them.  I was also a young Mom, I had my tween when I was 22 years old.  My life has turned out exactly how I planned it out. I am currently finding myself at this place where I am feeling a little lost though. Maybe a mid-life crisis (I’m only 31….so it can’t be that) or something. My life really is a dream, yet I am struggling personally.

The time has come for me to focus more time and efforts on myself…remember that 22 year old Mom who has been raising kids for the past eight years. Remember my talents, my strengths and my work ethic.  In this quest, I will only be posting one more blog post before I step down as a Mom Talk blogger for Tween Beat.

I want to be the VERY BEST version of Heidi that I can be for myself, my sweet husband and my children!!  Until then….Heidi

**This photograph was taken by Kristen Hassell, a talented photographer here in Jacksonville.

Remember the days when we hoped that our kids would breath when they talked.  Or when you just hoped and prayed that they would stop talking?  Recently, my daughter hasn’t been talking at all.  I would ask questions and she would answer with one word.  The silence was deadly.  It was her and I.

So, my mind goes to all the possible scenarios…did I embarrass her in front of her friends, is she mad, is she sad, is she OK?!  Finally, she said it. “Mom, I don’t have anything to say, isn’t it OK to be quiet?!”  Of course, why didn’t she say that in the first place!  She had chosen to run errands with me and wanted to be with me, so why did I assume the worse?  I’m realizing that tween phases are just as hard to predict as they are to understand.

Communication is vital with our children, no matter what age. However, so is space. I had to remind myself of what I was like at her age. She has to share a room and has significant age gaps between siblings. It’s normal to want space, to even crave it. It’s normal to desire silence in a loud home. It’s normal to want to spend time with those you love, but maybe not want to be talking incessantly, even if it goes contrary to past lives.  ;0

So, with the holidays approaching, emotions running high and an unpredictable tween behaving abnormally, I prepare for a long road of emotional and mood roller coasters with my tween girl.  I had expected this with a teen, but perhaps our tweens are entering the stages earlier than previous generations.  Is there enough progesterone in our home to counter the estrogen?  We will see.

Do you find that tween boys go through this stage as well as tween girls?  Have you reached the silent stage yet?  If so, what are your suggestions?

Even Moms need breaks!  I have realized that I’m a better Mom and Wife when I get a break.  It rang true this past week when I was able to go with some friends to a baby shower.  I was renewed and felt like me again.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and my children and husband.  Sometimes I just need to be around others who face the same challenges and are finding the balance to be reminded who I am and who I want to be.

This past week I have had the car twice.  To some this may sound tortuous.  I have taken it as an excuse not to overschedule or “busy” myself and have been quite productive with projects, de-cluttering and reading 4 Novels, too.  I was very relaxed and balanced.  In fact, I even told my husband that I wouldn’t be too upset if I didn’t have my own car for a while.  Early in my marriage working off one car would suffocate me.  Now, not so much.  I have been productive on the days he had car and spent much time cuddling, reading and doing things that needed to be done around the house.

All of us need breaks, even Super Mom.  All of us are different and have different needs.  Some need more breaks than others.  Some less.  Neither is wrong.  My mother gave me wise advice once to “do something nice for yourself every day.”  I sensed regret in her voice as if she had lost herself in mothering.  I have heard that you find yourself when serving others.  However, there is always a balance to all things.

With the holiday season, as many things fall on Mom’s list of to-do’s, remember to take time for yourself too.  It is easy to take the reason of the season away if we get too over focused on making things perfect.  Relax.  Take time to look at all the little “imperfections” and remember the moment with our children.  We will miss the small things.

Have you found your stress level rising as we get closer to holiday break?  What do you do to remember you?

I absolutely adore when my tween gets lost in the wonderful land of reading.  I find it so interesting that some books hold his attention better then others.

I have mentioned previously that my tween loves ‘The Magic Tree House’ book series.  He just gobbles those books up.  He continues to love to read that series.

Now, there is another series of books that he loves.  He totally checks out in the land of fiction when her reads the ‘Diary of a Wimpy Kid’ books.  These books are perfect for my tween.  The books are silly, have fun little pictures and lots of laughs.  I am always so happy when a new series of books become my tween’s favorite.

Here is a little overview from one of the books:

The Last Straw opens with Greg’s entry on resolutions to make yourself a better person: “Well, the problem is, it’s not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I’m already pretty much one of the best people I know.”

He’s sandwiched between older and younger brothers who cause all the problems (as he sees it). He has an enthusiastic mom he’s easily embarrassed by and a dad who’s frustrated Greg isn’t more of an athlete.

As Greg puts it, “I tried to explain how with video games, you can play sports like football and soccer, and you don’t even get all hot and sweaty. But as usual, Dad didn’t see my logic.”

Greg “isn’t a character to be emulated,” Kinney says. “But I think kids get that. They’re more sophisticated than we think. They laugh at Bart Simpson, but they know you’re not supposed to be like Bart Simpson.”

There you have it, a two thumbs up from this Mom!!  Pick up a copy for your tween boy and I guarantee that they will be MIA for a large part of the day!!

What book series does your tween enjoy?

I remember when my tween Lincoln was little.  He would often completely light up when he was around boys who were older then him.  He loved watching them and would copy everything they did.

I specifically remember one little boy who Lincoln thought was soooo cool.  Lincoln would copy every way this boy swung his light saber, played war and wrestled.  Lincoln LOVED to be around this little boy.

Now, my Lincoln is no longer this little boy watching older kids with stars in his eyes.  HE has become that big kid that little boys watch and try to imitate.  I watch Lincoln with his little cousin, Austin.  Austin watches Lincoln very closely and does everything Lincoln does.  It is adorable..!

At the same time, I wonder what choices and actions Lincoln will continue to make in his life.  Will he continue to be sensitive and kind?  Will these tween years and upcoming puberty make him moody and grumpy?  I guess that is the joy of Motherhood.  Only time will tell, I will continue to hope and pray that he will continue to be a happy kid.  I will hope and pray that we will be able to survive the tween and teen years with a good, solid relationship of respect and trust!

One thing is for sure, this tween of mine has grown up SO FAST and I am so proud of the wonderful little person he has become so far in his life!

What are some changes you see as your tween starts to get older and grow up?