With the holiday season quickly approaching, we are reminded that they aren’t always happy for some who find themselves alone, abandoned or separated with distance from loved ones.  Are tweens exempt from the “blues?”  Absolutely not!  We need to look for the signs and be ready to listen, love and be aware!

Tweens are not exempt from the seasonal blues.  Especially when they have divorced parents, a parent serving and deployed in the military, or have had a parent or close person to them pass away.  The symptoms are the same for adults, however, the ability to handle the emotions and feelings may be different as it may be hard to communicate or peg point that’s where it’s coming from.

What are some symptoms for Seasonal Depression to be looking for:

1. Increase in headaches

2.  Too much or too little sleep

3.  Weight loss or gain

4.  Agitation, guilt, or an inability to concentrate

The warning signs for Stress include:

1. Pounding heart

2. Dryness in the mouth or throat

3.  Nervous tics, fatigue, loss of or excessive appetite

4.  Feeling an urge to cry, or increased irritability, restlessness, or depression.

So, this holiday season, be aware of your own emotions and also for your tweens.  Be on the lookout for signs and symptoms of possible problems.  Simplify.  Relax.  Keep a schedule, but try not to overschedule.  If you do have a child visiting another parent for the holidays, keep it upbeat and civil for the child’s sake.  No child/tween wants to upset a parent.  If you have a child with a deployed parent, take advantage of the programs the military offers, volunteer, send packages or cards to the troops and try to have some kid of communication.  If they get really bad or are refusing to talk, remember to seek medical and or professional help.

What have you found to be beneficial when dealing with emotional or moody tweens?

Fall weather has us exccited to exercise in a more comfortable temperature, wanting to play outside and take advantage of the fresh air, and enjoying mother nature’s gifts.  Leaves are turning colors, pumpkin picking is over and we sense winter coming.  This is a time of year that can become very busy and hectic, but it’s important to remember to slow down the pace and let our tweens have stress free fun outside!

Our kids are inside the majority of the day at school and have limited daylight when they come home.  We are trying to switch the schedule a little to play before homework so that they can take advantage of daylight.  We are enjoying our less scheduled time together and are playing outside, ALOT!

Here are some suggestions to get your tween outside and having fun:

Take a walk as a family

Play a hardy game of tag

Do yardwork together

Build something together…birdhouses or feeders are perfect this time of year.

Have a spontaneous outdoor marshmallow war as a family.

Have a cookout or Roast Marshmallows together and enjoy being outdoors telling stories.

There are many fall fun activities to do as a family to get you outside being active and building healthy relationships.

Why is fresh air important?  Fresh air produces a healthy mind, clean lungs, and a calmer constitution when we actively use it. Getting outdoors should not be a chore, but a privilege. Enjoy the earth and get your dose of fresh air.

The National Wildlife Federation urges parents to institute an outdoor “green hour” for kids. Start by suggesting just one more activity each weekend–a family bike ride or an after-dinner walk. Next, add a weekday event. Some other ideas (find more at greenhour.org)  By making outdoor play mandatory and being out with your kids, you are also taking advantage of the benefits of fresh air and living the example!

What are your family’s favorite fall activities?

President Eisenhower signing HR7786, changing Armistice Day to Veterans Day. From left: Alvin J. King, Wayne Richards, Arthur J. Connell, John T. Nation, Edward Rees, Richard L. Trombla, Howard W. Watts

This week our kids will have a day off of school to honor Veterans.  It’s not just a day off.  It is meant to be celebrating the lives of those lost, as well as those serving and those living whom have served in war times.  It marks sacrifice, service, patriotism, honor and oftentimes loss.  Many Veterans live today with wounds, disease, injuries, and debilitating illnesses that were caused from their time served in other countries.  I was excited to hear my tween come home and say that they had been writing thank you notes to Veterans to be given out at VA hospitals.

What do you know about Veteran’s Day?  I’ll admit that I’m rusty on my history and that made me research so that I’ll have answers for my children.  A good source is, http://www1.va.gov/opa/vetsday/vetdayhistory.asp

So, what will you be doing in Veteran’s Day celebration?

Locally, many parades were held this past Saturday.  However, you can pay tribute to those lost by attending memorial services at a military cemetery, having your children visit or serve those at wounded warrior houses, visit the Beirut Memorial Wall, write letters of gratitude to those whom have served in war or who are currently serving, serve those families of soldiers whom have deployed, or call family members and express gratitude for their service in past war deployments.

This is our family’s second year having our Veteran home.  It has brought on new meaning to know firsthand of his sacrifice and of those whom he had served with.  We have learned empathy and increased gratitude by living through a deployment and knowing the sacrifice and toll is takes on the family and soldier/sailor.  We are grateful to live in a country where we have the freedom to choose, to vote, to believe and to raise our children how we view.

What will you be doing on your day off to teach your children about why we receive that day off?

Lately, I have been very grateful as a mother for the many blessings I see around me.  I’m grateful for a hard working husband, for a job that supports our family, for our religion, my good friends, for the beauty that surrounds us.  There are so many things to be thankful for.  I want my children to know gratitude and a good attitude.  I notice that my tween’s tone and attitude often reflect my own.  Examples are extremely important.  We are entering the season of Thanksgiving and quickly it is followed by the season of giving and receiving.  Where will my childrenss values lie?

How do you foster an attitude of gratitude?  How can we teach our children about how blessed they are compared to so many children elsewhere that have little to nothing?  I am grateful for the opportunity I have as a mother and all the chances I get to teach my children.  I hope and pray I can keep a level head and teach them the right.

Here are some tips that have helped me remember to have an attitude of gratitude:

1. Keep a gratitude journal.  Write down the things you are grateful for and acknowledge all your blessings.

2.  Express gratitude frequently and out loud

3.  Write thank you notes to acknowledge help, gifts, and appreciation

4.  Make this a habit- as a family, practice gratitude within your home and communities, even remembering the people behind scenes…the janitors at school, the bus driver, the teachers aids, etc.

5. Teach gratitude during the hard times too… with a positive attitude you can still see the good during the bad.

Teaching gratitude to our tweens takes time.  It takes teaching them about looking outside of themselves.  It takes practice and patience since it is easy to get resistance for writing thank yous, etc.  Tis the season of teaching attitudes of gratitude and with the economy things might be a little more simplistic this year and preparing your tweens and kids will reflect a much better attitudes and prepare them to appreciate all they do have.

How do you teach appreciation?

When my tween said she wanted to dress-up as a “sleeping girl” and take a pillowcase, my first reaction was, “she’s too old.”  I thought ‘what has happened to my little girl?’  I realized that my tween is quickly growing up and we will have to decide when to encourage her to pass out treats or when to stay home.  It made me think where can I go for guidelines….HERE!  What do you think?

The tradition of trick-or-treating as far as I can remember has been celebrated by the young who are eager to wear costumes, get candy and build community within the neighborhood.  I remember as I got “tweeny” that as long as I was willing to wear a costume and not carry a pillowcase I was allowed.  Eventually you began to be socially embarrassed by comments from neighbors like, “aren’t you a little too old for trick or treating?”

My tween started her trick-or-treating at a young age and was trained wisely by her father….if given a choice, choose chocolate!  I still remember her saying, “My daddy says get chocolate!”  I fondly remember the excitement of her coming home and dumping the candy while I quickly removed any deemed choking candy from her piles.  It started by making color piles.  She has now progressed to making piles of like candy and trying to trick her brother into trading his chocolate for anything else that she doesn’t like.

Although a tween trained in portions and making wise choices, she still is a kid in the fact that she wants candy 24/7.  We have had to confiscate all candy to ration for the remainder of November!  Have you found wrappers everywhere around the house?  Have you found chipmunk cheeks and smirks as tweens are trying to hide the candy that they are chewing on.  I have before!

What are your thoughts?  How old is too old for trick or treating?