Audition Update (to read part 1, click here)….Well, my son auditioned and I was proud that he had the courage to be on stage with 97 other K-8th graders. After auditioning, he was cast.  However, the friends who told us about the play and were there with us did not make it. It was a bitter sweet situation which could have turned ugly. It is moments like this during which parenting skills are tested. My friend is a sweetheart and handled it better than anyone I knew. She was so excited for my son and proud of hers, as I was also. In fact, they came to the show in support which is one of the sweetest tokens of friendship and loyalty.

Last week was a long week as we traveled to Morehead City daily from 3-7 pm. My son loved every minute of it. What surprised me is how much my 10 year old enjoyed it. She didn’t audition, but probably should have as she had memorized the whole play and every dance move. She wanted to watch every rehearsal and learned just as much. Secretly I was glad that this was my son’s event. Although I love them both and support them both, I think it is important to have their own moments to shine.

My son learned many skills by working with a community production. He learned theater skills, cooperation, listening skills, responsibility-for his part, his costume & messages sent home. He learned that being a part is important no matter how small or how large to put a production on. He learned time management. He learned self control as this was what would be let go if he lost his temper. He wanted the play so badly it was motivating him all week.

The greatest part of being in a play is the success he saw as the audience got involved and clapped and laughed at parts in the play.  It was also great to see how his self esteem was boosted. I learned, as a mother, to step back and allow others to teach and guide. I watched. I learned. I was impressed by how well the production was after only 5 days of rehearsal.  It made me grateful for a community and school district who sponsored a non-profit group to come in who are nationally known. It was a great opportunity that I’m grateful for my son having had a chance to be in.

Are your children budding actors/actresses?  do they participate in local theater workshops or groups?

Last week celebrated another report card.  It also marked an early spring as Phil did not see his shadow! In my books, there is plenty to celebrate! We do not pay our children for grades. We do not pay them for chores.  However, we do like to do spontaneous celebrations of them. This includes theme nights, favorite foods, family fun, favorite game, etc. The best part about it….you never know when Mom is going to surprise you with a celebration, hence, our family motto, every day’s a party!

Celebrating doesn’t take a lot of preparation, money or decor. It takes good ole’ fashion time. I’m realizing how much my children have come to value that time with family. They value the surprises and celebrations. It encourages us to be our best self. It encourages cooperation, teamwork and being each other’s cheerleaders. Family is a reason to celebrate in itself. Perhaps I’m getting old and more sentimental, but I look at my almost 11 year old and I realize that she has less time at home now than not. I look at my younger two and realize that time is too precious to waste wishing I would have. It’s time to do. Do the things I think about and not have regrets.

As we looked at the comments about our children on their report cards, of course we were proud at their grades, but more importantly we are proud about the great people they are becoming. That is reason to celebrate!

My boys favorites is good ole’ hamburgers.  My daughters favorites is anything fancy.  So, last week called for fancy drinks, “restaurant-style” serving and a family meal of conversation and praise. There are so many ways we can celebrate each other, but what is important is that we do it. Don’t take accomplishments for granted. Make sure you are equal or at least equally showing each person you care and love them. I love to watch my 19 month as she gets celebrated for helping to set the table….is it perfect, NO. However, when she gets thanked and acknowledged, there is nothing cuter than her clapping for herself.

How do you celebrate hard work and accomplishments in your home?

My son is in Kindergarten.  Still an age of innocence, right?!  I was dumbfounded by what came out of his mouth when he got angry the other day.  I stood there for a second thinking he didn’t really just say that to me and then proceeded to put him on timeout.  After speaking with him later about it I discovered that someone he considers a friend (and someone I consider a bad influence) uses “potty words” all the time.  So, we discussed our home “rules” again and set some future consequences for him using inappropriate language.  We try really hard not to expose our children to words we don’t want them using.  In fact, “stupid” is a bad word to us; we prefer to use silly instead.  It hit me the his outside influences are becoming stronger as he is away from home longer.  I know we cannot “shelter” him forever, but, really?  Kindergarten?!

So, how do we teach our children to differentiate which words and phrases are OK and appropriate and which are not?  Inside our homes we set the tone and the rules for what is OK.  However, when children hear things in movies or in stores it is OK to say, “ignore that,” or “we don’t say things like that.”   Yet, there are many times our children will hear things and will most likely try repeating them for effect.  It is best not to get too angry until you discuss what they understand about what they just said.  Most often than not, our kids don’t really know what they are repeating.  It is a “parrot” affect.  However, once discussed, future rules need to be clear.

It is also a good idea to tell our children to stand up and tell their friends not to use certain language because it is offensive.  If they choose not to respect you, again it becomes a learning lesson in choosing our friends wisely.  If children are using foul language on the playground at recess, I want my children to tell an adult.  There is no reason to have “potty” mouths, especially at school where we should be teaching our children good grammar and words.  School is the last place I want my child picking up inappropriate language or manners.

Here is a neat article about different reasons a child may use “bad words,”  it’s not always what we think.

How do you handle when your child uses a new word that may not be acceptable in your home?  Do you think a child should be encouraged to tell an adult or teacher or do you view that as tattling?

Do you or your child suffer from the winter blues?  It is actually a seasonal affective disorder related to depression that occurs in the winter time due to shorter days, the cold and the stress of after holidays.  It is important to recognize the signs in yourself or your child and seek help if needed.  Also, remember if you the parent is suffering it can trickle down to your kids and impact them, so get help!  There are many fun ways we have found to beat the blues or the blahs!

Here are some indoor activities that can bring you together without making you lose your mind….

1.  Get crafty- get some projects done you have wanted to and involve your children, it’s a great time to teach life skills while getting projects done

2.  Write Letters- get those thank you cards written (hint to myself)

3. Play store- it teaches math, could organize your pantry and is fun!

4.  Play games and do puzzles, when’s the last time you took the time to play together in good old fashion fun

5.  Draw to Music, Dance to Music, Sing to Music

or…

Get out of the house and get busy….activity is good for beating the blues.  Jacksonville now has Jump N Jax, an indoor facility with bounce houses; go bowling; go for a walk; join a gym, enroll your child in gymnastics, dance or other activity.  Being cooped up in the house isn’t always ideal, especially when dealing with the blues.

The American Academy of Pediatrics states, “People with SAD may crave comfort foods, including simple carbs such as pasta, breads, and sugar. With excess unhealthy calories and a lack of fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, fatigue often sets in. They may become depressed and irritable. Eventually, they are no longer able to maintain their regular lifestyle. They may withdrawal socially and no longer enjoy things that used to be fun. It’s as if a person’s batteries have just run down. For parents, SAD can obviously have a sharp impact on the ability to be an effective parent.

Children and adolescents can also suffer these symptoms. They may experience feelings of low self-worth and hopelessness. Children with depression struggle to concentrate on their schoolwork. Their grades may drop, worsening feelings of low self-esteem. Symptoms that last more than two weeks are cause for concern.”  Since there has been no known study on the effects of SAD in children or treatments, parents do need to be more mindful of their children’s behaviors.

How do you beat the blues during the winter months?  Do you think children suffer from the blues in winter?

This past week, 74 4th & 5th grade students from throughout the county represented 11 schools in Onslow County Science Fair.  These children represented their schools and competed for a chance to go to regional and state.  For an hour and a half they were asked questions and interviewed to see what they learned.  My daughter and her friend were the fourth grade representatives.  What would normally cause me stress, seemed to roll right off my daughter. I suggested dressing up, she said no. I suggested practicing, she said no. I suggested I be quiet, and I said Yes. (because what do mothers really know)

As I watched and observed I saw a gamut of parents.  Some accessing the other projects and comparing.  (the competitive ones)  Some were obviously annoyed at their children for not being more vocal (ones that didn’t particularly think their child should be there). Some just happily watching their child from a distance as they excitedly shared what they learned (parents who have allowed the learning to happen naturally). I wondered where I fit in.  Sure I was excited that my daughter had been selected, but I also know her true feelings.  She was happy, but really did not want to go on to the next level.  So, I watched and chalked this all up for experience.

My daughter learned that first impressions do matter. Dress for success. She learned that the more participatory the project, the more interest people showed. She learned that public speaking isn’t as easy as looks when it comes to eye contact, not stammering and knowing your facts. She learned the more you learn the more you know and the easier it is to talk about something. I think she also learned about passion. There were some projects that other kids were passionate about. They truly had picked a subject they were interested in. So, my daughter did her best. She learned and actually sighed louder than I thought she would when the winners were announced and the relief came knowing that she was not going to regional.

What kind of parent are you?  How would you have acted in a competitive environment like this?