Remember when all you could think about is that man that swept you off your feet?  Those eyes that sparkled as you locked in gazes at each other.  That smile that could melt away any insecurities you may have had.  The feeling that you are the most beautiful woman in the world and obviously the luckiest to have each other.  Well, it’s Valentine’s week and it’s time to feel the love.  I received my sweet cousin’s wedding invitation this past week (don’t they look so in love?!) and I was reminded of those feelings for my own husband as I looked at their engagement announcement.

As time passes and kids come along it is hard to feel that same connection.  People work, stresses occur, reality hits, children come along and before you know it conversations are focused around bodily fluids and the kids.  Both are exhausted and the routine starts over day after day after day.

Remember when a date is what you looked forward to, prepared for, primped for and thought about all week?  Well, that is why wise men have counseled to have weekly dates with our spouses.  It doesn’t have to cost money.  It doesn’t have to  be elaborate.  Yet, it takes time and preparation.  Failure to plan is planning to fail.  Just like we schedule appointments for doctors, work, clients, etc.  We must set that time aside for each other.  When my husband & I have gone out, my children are so happy to have their sitter.  Why?!  Not because they don’t like us, but because they get a break, it’s fun and they know that Mom & Dad are taking care of their marriage.  Children need to feel secure.  We live in a society that is heavily inundated with divorce, nontraditional family situations, separations, etc.  Even our children have said things when they don’t see us going out for a while.  They hear so many stories from friends that they worry.  Children want to see their parents taking care of them and their marriage partners.

If money is stopping you from going out with your sweetheart, remember, you can’t afford not to.  Suggestions on low cost dates:

Find a couple to swap babysitting with

Go to the gym together

Go on a walk on the beach and talk, throw a Frisbee or football

Pack a picnic and go to a local park

Happy Valentine’s week, hope you made it one to remember when.

What are some of your favorite pre-children memories/dates?

Have you ever run into other moms who act more like their kids? What can you do when dealing with moms who are so immature?  Watch my latest video post and please share your thoughts!

My tween Lincoln would be the first to tell you that he wants to be just like his Dad!!  If his Dad does it…Lincoln does it.  It doesn’t hurt that they are both athletic, love good food and love the outdoors.

Also, my husband, Matt has a great love for his Dad.   Matt was his Dad’s right hand man and in turn, loves the same thing his Dad loved!!  Matt grew up with a certain breed of  dog that they would pheasant hunt with.  Are you surprised to know that we own the same type of dog?

Now the time has come that Lincoln gets to go pheasant hunting too.  Can’t you just see the excitement in Lincoln’s eyes to be able to go on an adventure too!!

Isn’t that just how it is??  Like it or not, we become much like our parents.  There is a little added pressure there on my actions and behaviors.  Am I teaching my children good wholesome things?  Are they picking up on my bad qualities (because I have them) as well as my good qualities?

So maybe it isn’t pheasant hunting with your tween, maybe it is fishing, crafting, cooking or shopping or playing chess.  Our children need us to be good examples in their lives!!

That  knowledge simply makes me want to work a little bit harder to be that much more of a good example in the life of my tween!!

What do you think your tween has learned and follows from the way  you live your life?

We took a short trip this weekend to DC and we were able to see my husband. He has been away at school since September and it has been about a month since he was able to visit us here at home. The boys (and I) were excited, but I was not prepared for how quickly I would be replaced. When they were younger, even after 14 month deployments, mom was still #1. Well….the times are a changin!

Happy Boys

Everywhere we went it was “I want to sit next to dad” or “I want to hold dad’s hand.”  Needless to say, my husband was thrilled! He has often shared that he had some slight jealousy issues with how close the boys always have been to me. With so much time spent away from us over the years, that was to be expected I suppose. Now that the boys are tweens, I think their reliance on mom is a little less and Kerry has been home about ten months now and that is a record for us

Even though it was a shock to my system, it was really nice to see how happy all three of them were….holding hands all around DC. Jake got to Share the Marine Corps Museum with Kerry and Sam was overjoyed with the little gift Kerry brought him when we all met up in VA. I hope deployments are truly behind us and the boys can keep building a relationship with their dad. I know I am important to them but I also know that boys need a dad.

Are your tweens close to your spouse? Any other military moms out there with deployment stories?

**I realize this might be a controversial post!  But it is an issue with tween boys especially that we should all think about!

I was that Mother that swore my children would never play video games.  We would be too busy running barefoot outside to even have TIME for something like video games!

Then, my tween was exposed to Mario Cart and his life was forever changed!  I immediately went from that Mother who wanted nothing to do with video games to a Mother who had a Nintendo game cube IN her house!

Now, I am actually fairly partial to this subject!  I found that video games are a big part of kids  social lives!  If my tween can’t play video games at home, he will find places at his friends homes where he can play!  So I gave in, I don’t want him to be this outcast who has no idea how to use a video control.  At the same time, I very much limit the use of my tweens video game time!  Since school has started, he hardly plays at all.  Maybe a little on the weekend, or his PSP when we go on a trip.  Otherwise video game time is few and far between.  But, he knows how to play and loves it.  He can get together with his little friends and play games with them!  The way these video games are used in our house is under control…it is fun for a little while here and there but it isn’t my tweens life!

Here are a few interesting facts that I found on the website, Raise Smart Kids;

Good Effects of Video Games -

*   Following instructions

*   Problem solving and logic

*   Hand-eye coordination, fine motor and spatial skills.

*   Resource management and logistics.

*    Multitasking, simultaneous tracking of many shifting variables and managing multiple objectives.

*    Quick thinking, making fast analysis and decisions.

*    Strategy and anticipation

*    Developing reading and math skills

*     Perseverance

*     Pattern recognition

*     Estimating skills

*    Inductive reasoning and hypothesis testing

*    Mapping

*     Memory

*    Reasoned judgments

*     Teamwork and cooperation when played with others

*      Simulation, real world skills

Negative Effects of Video Games -

*      Increased violence or aggression (from violent video games)

*      Social isolation

*      Not exercising the imagination or imaginative thinking

*      Poor values (from violent video games)

*      Confusion between reality and fantasy

*      Poor performance in school (if TOO much time is spent gaming)

*      Negative effects on some children’s health, including obesity, video-induced seizures.  Postural, muscular and skeletal disorders, such as tendinitis, nerve compression, carpal tunnel syndrome

There you have it, now you are informed!  Do a little google search on your own and find out more about this subject.  Just like anything else, each tween is unique and we as parents need to be there to help  make the right choices for our tweens!