Is it just me or are boys harder on clothes?  I recently realized that a lot of my Kindergarten son’s pants have holes in the knees.  Between how fast kids grow, how hard they are on their clothes and the economy, we are re-evaluating thrift.  As parents, we all want our children to look nice.  We all have limited time to shop or even if we have unlimited time to shop, there is a little thing called budget. We all want what is best for our children. I know my parents did several things when we were younger to teach the value of frugality and thrift.  I’ll also admit that I didn’t readily start couponing or thrift store shopping until a few years ago and I am still somewhat of a discriminating shopper.  However, by making this part of our family’s pattern we are teaching invaluable skills to our children.

By taking our children to regular stores and showing them prices of clothing, even on sale, they have learned how much greater a deal is at the Bag Sales at thrift stores.  For $6 you fill a brown paper bag of clothes/shoes.  With a little patience, planning and picking, you can outfit your growing children on a dime.  The best part is not caring as much when your child stains a shirt or puts holes in their knees or are too hard on their clothes.  There are many people who would NEVER be caught dead in a thrift store or who have negative stereotypes.  These same people tend to buy their children too many clothes (mostly name brands) and often donate them new with tags or after being worn once.

My children have often received compliments on their clothing from others and now readily share their tips.  The compliments have given them confidence and reassurance that it doesn’t matter where you buy your clothes, as long as you present yourself well and groomed.  My daughter went from a thrift store snob to looking forward to monthly mommy/daughter dates at the bag sale.  We comb the racks for familiar brands, things new with tags, or gently used clothing that catches the eye.  We project the next size needed.  By having our kids help with the laundry and putting clothes away, they are also aware of what they need more so than myself at times.  So, when my son put holes in yet another pair of jeans this week, I was glad I finally found a way of saving money on that little necessity of clothing our children without the stress of breaking the bank.

What are some money saving tips have you used with your growing family?

Do you or your child suffer from the winter blues?  It is actually a seasonal affective disorder related to depression that occurs in the winter time due to shorter days, the cold and the stress of after holidays.  It is important to recognize the signs in yourself or your child and seek help if needed.  Also, remember if you the parent is suffering it can trickle down to your kids and impact them, so get help!  There are many fun ways we have found to beat the blues or the blahs!

Here are some indoor activities that can bring you together without making you lose your mind….

1.  Get crafty- get some projects done you have wanted to and involve your children, it’s a great time to teach life skills while getting projects done

2.  Write Letters- get those thank you cards written (hint to myself)

3. Play store- it teaches math, could organize your pantry and is fun!

4.  Play games and do puzzles, when’s the last time you took the time to play together in good old fashion fun

5.  Draw to Music, Dance to Music, Sing to Music

or…

Get out of the house and get busy….activity is good for beating the blues.  Jacksonville now has Jump N Jax, an indoor facility with bounce houses; go bowling; go for a walk; join a gym, enroll your child in gymnastics, dance or other activity.  Being cooped up in the house isn’t always ideal, especially when dealing with the blues.

The American Academy of Pediatrics states, “People with SAD may crave comfort foods, including simple carbs such as pasta, breads, and sugar. With excess unhealthy calories and a lack of fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, fatigue often sets in. They may become depressed and irritable. Eventually, they are no longer able to maintain their regular lifestyle. They may withdrawal socially and no longer enjoy things that used to be fun. It’s as if a person’s batteries have just run down. For parents, SAD can obviously have a sharp impact on the ability to be an effective parent.

Children and adolescents can also suffer these symptoms. They may experience feelings of low self-worth and hopelessness. Children with depression struggle to concentrate on their schoolwork. Their grades may drop, worsening feelings of low self-esteem. Symptoms that last more than two weeks are cause for concern.”  Since there has been no known study on the effects of SAD in children or treatments, parents do need to be more mindful of their children’s behaviors.

How do you beat the blues during the winter months?  Do you think children suffer from the blues in winter?

I remember being pregnant for the first time and finding out I was having a girl.  All I knew was that a baby was a baby, could there really be a difference?.  As time went on, girl was all I knew.  What my daughter did was what all children did, right?  Wrong. Almost five years later we had a son.  Again, people would ask if I was nervous about having a boy.  Why should I be? Well, to be honest I was, my biggest fear was how am I supposed to potty train him like a boy?  Silly I know but the differences between children is greater than anatomy.

Without getting scientific, I am going to state my own mom perspective.  I believe all children are equally different.  Some are “pre-wired” while other traits are learned environmentally.  Yes, the ole’ nature vs. nurture.  I have discovered that both children will do what is asked, but yield very different results. For example,  if I ask my son, who is in Kindergarten, to color certain items a color, he does it.  Albeit, he scribbles to quickly complete the assigned task and is ready for another task within second.  However, my daughter will take her time and meticulously color and it seems like a tortuous amount of time.  When I ask my son to clean, he stands there, evaluates the task and delegates to his sisters what he thinks needs to be done. (Did I mention he usually delegates the whole task back to someone else?) If I ask my daughter to do the same thing, she does it.  Both children respond differently emotionally, educationally and physically to stimuli.  Is there a difference, you bet!

I found this article very informative about gender differences and explaining the differences that come with gender vs. the scientific reasons based on the amount of chemicals in our brain development.  This doctors article explains some things in a way I never considered.  Either way, it is up to us a parents to expose our children to tasks normally associated with both genders to give them experience, opportunities and skills.

Do you think there is a significant difference between boys and girls?  Why or why not?

“The only thing constant is change” is my mantra. It is my life. It is the military. It is motherhood.  It is the ability to adapt to unforeseen circumstances with a good attitude.  It is the reality that life is constantly evolving & changing.  I think as humans we tend to be creatures of habit and we resist that urge to have change.  However, as a mother I’m learning that I have to adapt and teach my children through my example. We had planned family time around this weekend as we were supposed to have a 4 day weekend. With weather make-ups, we no longer have those days off. My husband had taken leave…and now has canceled it. Our children were excited for the unannounced adventure our family was to take. Alas, it may be a day trip to Raleigh.

We weren’t going anywhere spectacular on a limited budget, but we do recognize the need for family escapes and fun. When you stay home you often get bombarded with family projects, the stress that is here, etc.  Sometimes escaping for a few days can rejuvenate us all enough to realize what we have in our little family unit and with our home. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I have noticed that  my tween, especially, does not deal with change very well.  It throws her off and I know I have mentioned this in other blogs, but se feels like we have lied to her if plans have changed. She feels like we don’t do what we say. These are heavy allegations that my husband and I don’t take lightly to. This is not what we want our children thinking or believing. However, the reasons are legitimate…school was canceled due to weather and they had those days off just in a similarly unplanned manner.

So, we continue to compromise, think before speaking and be cautious about letting any “plans” vocalized within ear shot of our children.

How do you handle changes in plans with your tweens, do they “meltdown” or do they understand?

Siblings are just siblings, right?  Well, this weekend I realized why it’s so hard when some siblings have play dates and others don’t have them at the same time.  My children consider themselves not just siblings but friends. As my son told me this weekend, “I love sissy, I know she gets mad at me when her friends are over, but I just want to be with her and her friends are nice to me.” Boy, was that insightful and revealing.  My tween was completely annoyed with her brother because she had a play date and he kept trying to join in the fun.  In his 5 year old mind he was just doing what he always did, playing with his sister.  So, I took my son out to get doughnuts for everyone so she could have uninterrupted time with her friend.

My son discovered my true intentions and even asked why his sister didn’t like him anymore.  I explained that she loves him, but she also needs her space.  It is hard to see her playing with someone else when that is usually what he gets to do.  I felt badly that I hadn’t planned better so he too could have a play date over, although that could’ve meant two boys teasing two tweens   However, I also believe my children need to learn to compromise and realize that life is not always fair. (Harsh I know, but reality.) I think kids need to learn how to behave in all situations and learn to respect each other and their own individual space.

I wondered why it is so easy for others the same age as my children to treat their friend’s siblings nicer than their own.  Is it because they understand it is temporary?  When you don’t live with another person you don’t know everything about them, so you aren’t as irritated as the one who does know what they can be like.  Siblings know each other’s “magic buttons” to push.  Siblings can be hurtful to each other and rebound faster than friends.  Siblings see you through the worse and the best and still love you.  Friends don’t always give you that understanding or forgiveness.

As a parent I did talk with my tween about her behavior.  When she realized why her brother behaved “worse” than normal she calmed down a bit and could see the situation differently.  Sometimes we need to facilitate hard conversations as parents.  Sometimes we also need to teach our children these social issues and remind them to be kind to their siblings.

What do you do to avoid sibling/friend confrontations with your tweens?