Kerry has been home 20 months out of the last almost 48. The longest period of time he was home in a row has been 10 months. We have managed and, sadly, gotten very used to be doing things in threes instead of fours. As Kerry gets ready to return home after nearly 3 months away at school I am ready to say that I have had enough.

I don't mean to be a cry baby, but....

• I can handle the boys alone..I don’t want to
• I can handle taking care of the house on my own…I don’t want to
• I can live without a date night with my husband…I don’t want to
• I can buy and sell a house on my own…I don’t want to
• I can sit alone every night once the kids go to bed…I don’t want to

I don’t want to sound like a whiner, but the boys and I are worn out. Kerry has missed too many sports games the boys were in and too many school events. They are ready for their dad to be home and I am ready to feel married again. As I look ahead to the holidays and a possible job for Kerry in VA, I know this may all need to be put off yet again (I’ll have to keep you posted on the job front). I guess I need a day or two to just feel upset about and complain ALOT We will deal as we always have, but we hope for an end to all of this sooner rather than later.

Have you endured too much time apart? When did you “hit the wall” so to speak?

Time with their dad this summer at Disney

When my husband left active duty this past summer I thought the days of him being gone for months at a time were behind us. I was wrong!

As you may know from previous posts, two weeks after leaving active duty he returned to work as an active duty reservist. He was working in the same shop and doing the same job. Well…a few months in and they offered him the chance to attend a school he had wanted to attend since before his last deployment. It was a good opportunity so he said yes…and so did Jake, Sam and I. He said yes to nearly 3 months of intense intelligence coursework and we said yes to nearly 3 months without a dad and husband AGAIN.

I have to say….we are pretty good at it at this point. We have the drill down and we can take care of ourselves. That said, it would be much nicer to have him home. I am back to trash duty and mopping (the one household chore I hate more than any other so he does it for me:)) and the boys are back to phone calls to say goodnight.

I know we are fortunate he has a good job and benefits and we have a stable life here with friends and a great support system. I just wish we could get out of the cycle all together…..so come on federal job…….time for some interviews and a way out!

Are you dealing with separation right now? How are your tweens handling it?

I hate mowing the lawn (I think most allergy sufferers do!) I kind of appreciate  my husband Jon a lot more now that it’s time to start doing a ton of outdoor work.  Thankfully, I have a super cool neighbor who has been helping me out a lot.  It seems like there just aren’t enough hours in the day to take care of everything, inside and out, and work as well.  If it doesn’t get done, it will still be there tomorrow.  I’m not going to let it bother me, I’m only one person.

The past two weeks have flown by because I haven’t even had a spare second to breathe.  This week won’t be much better.  Vannah’s getting her tubes put in so I have to be in Wilmington two days in a row!  I’m not complaining though; don’t get me wrong.  It makes the time go by much faster.

As I write this, I’m making an attempt to get a handle on the continuous laundry crisis we seem to have.  Just about everything has been washed (one load in the dryer and one that has to go in after that.)  The dishes are done, I got a bunch of entrees cooked for the upcoming week (that way we don’t have to do any fast food), and I’ll soon start picking up and cleaning so I don’t get woefully behind when the week starts.

All in all, things are going pretty smoothly.  I think keeping busy is a blessing; time literally flies by so I don’t have too much time to think about my husband’s deployment (I don’t even know where last week went.)  I’ll keep you posted (hoping to hear something about homecoming dates in the next week or so!)

My husband Jon’s still gone on deployment, big  surprise! LOL!  However, now it is rumor time.  I’ve heard every date from now until August.  It’s actually rather ridiculous.  I think the thing that is the most horrible is I’m just so ready for him to be home that I’m looking for any glimmer of hope.  Communication through the family network has been shaky in the past, so I’ll just wait until I hear it from him.

I often think about why I miss him.  There are a lot of reasons, as you military wives know.  It’s nice to be able to be lazy and not have to do the dishes.  Jon will do them if I don’t feel like getting up off the couch.  It’s great not to have to be the bad guy all the time; there’s someone else to share disciplinary duty.  I haven’t put the Christmas tree away yet either …lol.  Moving furniture by yourself isn’t a picnic, might I add, nor is bathing Oreo, our dog.  Those are all Jon’s jobs.  I enjoy adult company; just having someone to clown around with in the evenings.  Sometimes it really hits home after the kids have gone to bed and the house is just silent.

I think the bottom line is it’s nice to not have to be completely in charge of everything all the time.  It’s nice to have the company, the help, and the backup.  When he’s home, there’s someone to pick up the slack when I decide to be lazy.  There’s someone to chill out with and to just be there.  I just have to get the kitchen tiled now before he gets back (anyone wanna help me move the fridge ?).  We really missed him today and we look forward to the day of his return.

What do you miss most about your husband/wife when they’re gone?

Well, I finally got a call from my husband on Saturday.  I’ll be honest, he was a little on the cranky side; however, I suppose he has a good reason.  I’m excited because the weeks are just flying by; thankfully this will all be done and over with before I can blink an eye.  I’m already excited and nervous about homecoming.  It will be nice to have an adult helper.  I can’t imagine how much easier my life will be.  Between training up for the deployment and actually deploying, it’s really been close to or over a year since he was home on a routine basis.  We haven’t gotten any official word as of yet as it pertains to his return, but that’s pretty typical.

 Everyone made it through school this week, yet another miracle and I’m finally starting to feel human again now that there’s actually some daylight and sunshine!!  The girls were pretty upset after they got to talk to daddy, but I’m just glad that they received the opportunity hear his voice and know that he loves and cares about them.  They’ve been pretty good about it all; sometimes the subject of daddy being gone comes up at night as they’re getting tucked in.  They tell me they miss him and we talk about it.  I don’t want them to feel as though it’s not okay to be sad or miss him.  It’s perfectly fine; however, sometimes I think they use it as a crutch.  It’s kind of difficult to strike that balance. 

Uneventful is the best way to describe this week; I say that with a sigh of relief because there’s no telling what the next few days hold!