Audition Update (to read part 1, click here)….Well, my son auditioned and I was proud that he had the courage to be on stage with 97 other K-8th graders. After auditioning, he was cast.  However, the friends who told us about the play and were there with us did not make it. It was a bitter sweet situation which could have turned ugly. It is moments like this during which parenting skills are tested. My friend is a sweetheart and handled it better than anyone I knew. She was so excited for my son and proud of hers, as I was also. In fact, they came to the show in support which is one of the sweetest tokens of friendship and loyalty.

Last week was a long week as we traveled to Morehead City daily from 3-7 pm. My son loved every minute of it. What surprised me is how much my 10 year old enjoyed it. She didn’t audition, but probably should have as she had memorized the whole play and every dance move. She wanted to watch every rehearsal and learned just as much. Secretly I was glad that this was my son’s event. Although I love them both and support them both, I think it is important to have their own moments to shine.

My son learned many skills by working with a community production. He learned theater skills, cooperation, listening skills, responsibility-for his part, his costume & messages sent home. He learned that being a part is important no matter how small or how large to put a production on. He learned time management. He learned self control as this was what would be let go if he lost his temper. He wanted the play so badly it was motivating him all week.

The greatest part of being in a play is the success he saw as the audience got involved and clapped and laughed at parts in the play.  It was also great to see how his self esteem was boosted. I learned, as a mother, to step back and allow others to teach and guide. I watched. I learned. I was impressed by how well the production was after only 5 days of rehearsal.  It made me grateful for a community and school district who sponsored a non-profit group to come in who are nationally known. It was a great opportunity that I’m grateful for my son having had a chance to be in.

Are your children budding actors/actresses?  do they participate in local theater workshops or groups?

We have all heard that boys will be boys or that siblings are just meant to bicker, but as I shared in an earlier post, I have reached my limit with the bickering. I had to lay down the law with Jake and Sam to put an end to the constant arguing. For the time being….it seems to have worked.

Picture of Brotherly Love

I used to step in and stop the boys when the arguing went on and on but that was all I would do. I would tell them that it was wrong and that they needed to work to be more kind to each other. Without fail, they would stop for 10 minutes and then start again. It seemed they were arguing more than they weren’t and it was wearing on me. I wanted them to show more love and care toward one another so I had to make a change.

I told the boys that from now on, their arguing would be a punishable offense just like back talk or any other action that earned them a time out. They were put on notice that when they carried on and would not drop it with each other, they would be punished. It may mean 15 times outs a day, but my hope is that it will make them realize that they actually do like spending time with each other and that it is not worth the energy they expend to constantly go at each other.

For the past few days, things have been better. I think just the threat of a time out has done the trick for now. They still argue from time to time but it is not ALL the time….as I type this they are building a fort together and I only hear happiness I’ll keep you posted on how things go once more time goes by……..

Do your kids bicker often? What do you do when it starts?

It was just yesterday that my tween was screaming as I tried to get a picture with her and Santa.  Then she loved him and believed in him and wanted to take pictures, write letters and leave cookies.  Now, well, we have to keep her silent as not to ruin her younger siblings magical beliefs.

It was last year that she questioned his existence.  Then it happened.  I messed up.  I wrapped “Santa’s” gift with the same paper as another gift from us.  The result of an innocent mistake was a confirmation she had long been waiting for.

Many kids start questioning the belief of Santa around 8 years old.  Then more and more children start making fun of others who still believe.  My daughter questioned for a year or so but held out for the magic in her heart.  Then, she was too observant and had too many unanswered questions about the validity of the “North Pole” and people realistically being able to sustain life in the temperatures and environment.  Logic prevailed.

We have been trying to have her keep the silence and she has humored us by slyly smiling as phone calls to Santa (grandpa) are made, letters are written, cookies are made to be left, etc.  She has asked us why we should “deceive” my son with the belief.  Our youngest is still too young to believe yet.  We simply said, “don’t shatter others’ beliefs, we still believe.”

This discovery also led to all the other “magical” holiday fairies’ validity.  Hence, I get handed a tooth and asked for the “fairy money.”  To which I reply, “there is no payment beyond disbelief.”    The sad reality of my growing tween!

Has your tween discovered “Santa?”  How and when do you manage our tween with their questioning minds?

There is something about being an older sibling!  It isn’t always easy…you quickly learn patience as a big brother or sister.  You learn that the world doesn’t always revolve around you.  It is hard, but I really think that in the long run…it is a blessing!

This is the world my tween lives in!  His little sisters are always getting into his things.  Even if he tries to hide his toys, they still seem to find them.  He is always looking out for them and helping me with them.

He absolutely LOVES how every once in a while we can take him out and it is ALL about him.  He loves some attention and spoil-ing!

I really am grateful he has two little sisters that have already taught him so many great life lessons.  He will be so much a better person because of it…in the long run!!

Here is a cute idea to encourage siblings to be kind and loving!  Give it a try and let me know how it goes!!

Sisters.  There really aren’t words to describe the bonds they share despite the age differences or the personality differences.  My two girls are 9 years apart in age.  Yet, they are two peas in a pod when they are together.  They love and dislike each other at times.  Even a 1 year old can communicate that.  As one of my favorite authors says, “Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply…  “~Jane Austen, Mansfield Park, 1814

Everyone of us wants to belong and be accepted.  It is within the family that we develop and realize the importance and feel loved.   With tweens they are starting to spend more time away from the family and that is why it is all the more important to spend time together fostering these bonds.  I have realized that my tween needs her space.  She loves her siblings and her parents, but she needs time to process,think and create for herself as well.  We are learning to respect that and at the same time to stay connected and close as a family.

Here are some tips to foster family relationships:

Spend Time Together- set time apart to enjoy activities & play together without a schedule or time frame.

Have fun! Life has enough stressors, remember to just have a little fun together and laugh!

Eat Meals Together- eat at least one meal together as a family around a table where you can reconnect, talk, and try not to rush eating or the discussion.

Express Yourselves Frequently and Freely- share gratitude, notice the little things each other do, express your love and admiration for each person in the family.

Exercise Together- being a healthy and fit family is a job for everyone, find fun activities you all enjoy so that you can get your exercise in and the kids are involved and having fun!

Work Together- teach your children to work with you, it will help them learn life skills and it will make everyone feel like a contributing member of the family.

Stop Comparing and Celebrate Uniqueness-each person in the family has strengths, focus on those not the differences!

Worship Together- whatever your religion may be, it is important to teach your children values, standards and beliefs.