TweenBeat

We recently had family visiting from Ohio and I found myself often musing over the past, the future and the present.  I sat and watched my Mom & Dad as grandparents.  I watched my brother as son, brother, husband and father.  I watched my daughter as eldest, first grandchild, sister and daughter.  I caught myself in my different roles as wife, sister, daughter, mother and aunt.  It made me reflect on birth order and how we are all different based on this mysterious gift of placement.

I found an interesting website that talks about how birth order effects our personalities and how we turn out.  Check it out and see if it fits you and your children.

TIME Magazine also did an article about birth order.  The following excerpts are from it, “The importance of birth order has been known—or at least suspected—for years. But increasingly, there’s hard evidence of its impact. In June, for example, a group of Norwegian researchers released a study showing that firstborns are generally smarter than any siblings who come along later, enjoying on average a three-point IQ advantage over the next eldest—probably a result of the intellectual boost that comes from mentoring younger siblings and helping them in day-to-day tasks. The second child, in turn, is a point ahead of the third. While three points might not seem like much, the effect can be enormous. Just 2.3 IQ points can correlate to a 15-point difference in sat scores, which makes an even bigger difference when you’re an Ivy League applicant with a 690 verbal score going head to head against someone with a 705. “In many families,” says psychologist Frank Sulloway, a visiting scholar at the University of California, Berkeley, and the man who has for decades been seen as the U.S.’s leading authority on birth order, “the firstborn is going to get into Harvard and the second-born isn’t.”

The differences don’t stop there. Studies in the Philippines show that later-born siblings tend to be shorter and weigh less than earlier-borns. (Think the slight advantage the 6-ft. 5-in. [196 cm] Peyton Manning has over the 6-ft. 4-in. [193 cm] Eli doesn’t help when he’s trying to throw over the outstretched arms of a leaping lineman?) Younger siblings are less likely to be vaccinated than older ones, with last-borns getting immunized sometimes at only half the rate of firstborns. Eldest siblings are also disproportionately represented in high-paying professions. Younger siblings, by contrast, are looser cannons, less educated and less strapping, perhaps, but statistically likelier to live the exhilarating life of an artist or a comedian, an adventurer, entrepreneur, GI or firefighter. And middle children? Well, they can be a puzzle—even to researchers.”

Read more

What’s your take?  Is there something to birth order and how we relate dependent on birth placement?  Does it affect our personalities?  Is it different when a male is first born and female second?

kristen-paulsen

Home Science Projects that teach

Posted on September 27th, 2010 by Kristen Paulsen

I know I have posted before about my tween having eagle eyes and loving to explore, discover and observe.  She has taught me to slow down and smell the roses.  In a hurried world she is often the one in her own world of imagination.  Although this can sometimes frustrate me, I decide to chalk it up for positives in a society that keeps wanting to move faster and often overlooking the simple things.

We recently sent away for some caterpillars.  We have a butterfly house that we haven’t used in a while.  The kids were very excited when we got our five caterpillars that would sooner than later transform into 5 spotted painted lady butterflies.  After watching them make their chrysalides and transplanting them to the “house,” we quickly had 5 butterflies.  I don’t think we transferred two of them soon enough as they had some wing damage.  Of course my children were very concerned about their survival.

After the first day of school, we decided to let our butterflies free.  The healthy 3 took off in immediate flight, and my children swear they are the ones still around our flowers in our yard.  The less injured of the two took a little longer to get it’s wings moving fast enough to take flight, but it eventually flew off, too.  The last we strategically planted on a flower and watched for a while as it gathered nectar from the flower.  It was too injured to fly, as it had tried and fell and we had to reposition it on the flower.  My children were in awe over this entire process.  My tween especially was empathetic to the weakest.

My husband loves animals, insects, etc.  I love nature, so between the two of us, we are constantly trying to encourage our children’s sense of discovery.  There is learning all around us, but it is up to us to slow down and capture it and either learn with our children or teach them.  We recently got hamsters so the quest of learning is on again.  However, my tween asked me some hamster anatomy questions that involved “stick, hard, sacks, eww.”  Not sure I want to go there, but I used it to maturely go over some of the same talks we have had fielding questions about human anatomy, etc.  AGGHH!  (Wasn’t ready for that one, but am getting better with it as questions continue to arise…)

How do you foster an appreciation of nature and science?

If anyone else out there has more than one child, you may be able to relate to this post. Siblings can be the best of friends, but I have learned they can also be each others worst enemy. Sam was born when Jake was only 17 months old. We figured it would be great…so close in age…they could play together all the time…entertain each other. Well, let’s just say that is true about 50% of the time…the other 50%…Jake is too busy asserting himself as the big brother to entertain anyone.

They may argue, but they are still best buds

Jake needs constant interaction. He does not like quiet time in his room or doing something on his own for very long. Sam is quite happy with that scenario and too many times his brother’s desire for a playmate takes that away from him. When Sam was younger he would just submit to Jake and Jake would take over…telling Sam what role to play and how to do it. Well, Sam is 6 now and not so willing to take it anymore.

Sam is more vocal now (very loud and high pitched I might add) when Jake interrupts his quiet time with demands or instruction. I have tried to explain to Jake that Sam likes time alone sometimes or that he cannot always run the show. That will settle things for a few minutes (maybe a day if I’m really lucky) but sooner or later it happens again. As the boys get older I know Sam will eventually not seem like such an easy target for Jake.

The truth is….Jake just wants interaction ALL THE TIME. It is not a bad thing….just not what Sam wants and one day, he will make it very clear to Jake. It might not be pretty, but it may work so both boys can get a little more of what they want…not just Jake :)

Do your tweens argue? Do their different personalities cause conflict sometimes?

heidi-russell

Look Out for the Little One’s…

Posted on August 1st, 2010 by Heidi Russell

One thing my tween has to deal with is his siblings.  He is the oldest of our three children.  Being the oldest has it’s perks.  But being the oldest also comes with responsibilities.  I rely alot on Lincoln to help me with our baby.  Often he will get her out of her crib in the morning, get her a sippie cup and read her stories.  He really loves her and likes to help, but sometimes he doesn’t want to help.

I have tried to teach him the importance of looking out for his little sisters.  In turn, I have noticed that he also looks out for other little children.  It is an important concept to teach out tweens.  I hope to instill in him the importance of not only looking out for younger children, but also standing up for himself and for things he feels strongly about.

I think the basis of this comes from teaching him right from wrong, teaching him to look for the good in others and stand up for those who are picked on or made fun of.    I feel like Lincoln has a good grasp on this.  Is he perfect at it…no?  But that’s okay.  I think one of the best ways I can teach him these things are through example.  I know he watches his Dad and me.  He wants to be like us…so we better be on our best behavior for him!!!

How do you teach your tween how to look out for those who are younger and also those who might not be ‘cool’?

kristen-paulsen

The Activity Jar

Posted on June 9th, 2010 by Kristen Paulsen

It’s day one of freedom and the kids and I are excited that school is over, for now.  We love our unscheduled time together.  I love watching them interact and play with each other.  We deliberately did not plan a lot of camps, big travel plans, etc. but we decided to have “Field Trip Friday.”  I did this when I home schooled.  We created a jar of activities the kids have placed inside.  Both of my older children offered suggestions.   The goal was to compile a list of activities or things we have wanted to see or do within reason.  We have museum passes as well as zoo/aquarium passes, so they could include those type of activities.   The goal is more about low-cost sights than spending money. 

I was most surprised by some of my tweens’ suggestions.  It wasn’t anything grandiose and often were things we could create or do at home.  For example, learn how to sew, make their own pizzas, create a family restaurant, family movie theater and the list continued.  These are activities we have done during vacation times, but have not been able to recently due to the rigors of school. 

This jar represents more than just a boredom buster or new adventures.  It was a chance to let the kids have a say in decision making.  It got them thinking about what they enjoy doing.  It was done cooperatively and also prevents future fights as the agreement is that whatever is drawn= no complaints and full cooperation with the realization that their suggestions are in the jar too.  Both my older children realized that they enjoy many of the similar activities and are now both excited for the summer break. 

I believe in not scheduling too much in the summer and allowing down time.  I also feel like kids need something to look forward to and get excited about.  Many things are around us locally that are free and no cost that can provide enriching opportunities, reinforce sibling and parental relationships and teach new skills.

If you had an activity jar…what suggestions would your children put in for day adventures?  Do you have local favorites sights or adventures?




Other Posts By This Author