I think just about everyone has read the article in the Jacksonville Daily News about the father who allegedly caused severe injuries to his 7-week-old infant son. 

This has really disturbed me and I think it merits some type of civilized discussion.  I don’t know what would cause somebody to be physical with a 7-week-old.  Let’s be honest: Children, even infants, can cause frustration.  Seemingly endless crying can deplete the patience of the most even tempered parents.  It’s not easy being a parent, and anybody who tells you they’ve never gotten frustrated with their child is a liar.  However, the ways in which you act when confronted with these situations is critical. 

There are a ton of resources out there that can help parents deal with the stress caused by parenthood.  They can help you govern the ways in which you act when confronted with difficult situations.  

If you are a military dependent, the New Parent Support Program is excellent.  There’s a whole team of people ready, willing, and able to help you meet the demands of raising a baby!  When I had the girls, they also had a  home visitation program.  I had a registered nurse come out to my house a few times and it was great.  She would help me feed the girls and I could ask her questions about the kids.  It was nice to have some help! 

You can also get parenting classes, which teach different ways of constructively disciplining your children.  Violence is not necessary.  Play groups, church groups, support groups, hospitals, and social services have a plethora of resources designed to help parents gains a support system and deal with the stress of raising a child.  If you need help, there is plenty here, you just have to reach out and let someone know.

So, if you’ve read the blog about my child having the allergic reaction, you’ll know why I’m writing this.  As everyone knows, my husband is currently deployed.  Military wives and husbands, it wasn’t until now that I realized the importance of having a support system.  A good core of friends is one of the most valuable and cherished things in my life. 

At the emergency room, Sarah called (or maybe I happened to call her, everything’s kinda hazy).  She came and picked up Vannah.  She kept Vannah until about midnight.  Brenda also called and volunteered to pick up Vannah and was always there for me as well.  Two days into the ordeal, Carla was ready and willing to drive to Chapel Hill’s ER with me.  She let me cry, let me worry, and shared my anger, and helped focus my rage.  I think she was just as peeved as I was.  K.U. fought like a caged pitbull to help me get a referral and was ready to advocate for me at a second’s notice.  Barb researched and researched into the late hours of the night.  My mom volunteered to come up to help as did K.U.  My sister-in-law came with me to the appointment and my mother-in-law showed up on Thursday so I could get some much needed sleep.   My neighbors, Shaun and Stephanie, came over and got Mallory dressed so that I could wash my greasy hair. 

Then when I got the referral to Chapel Hill, Sarah again opened her doors.  She let Vannah sleep over the night before and then kept her all day.  She bought her ice cream, made her smoothies, and was there to bounce ideas off of.   She researched, prodded and called every medical person she knew.  Brenda made sure we were on prayer lists all over creation.  Carla directed me to the best doctor on the east coast. 

So many things had to fall together perfectly and my friends and family made it happen.  It’s really important to reach out when you need help and your spouse is deployed.  It’s important that you develop a core of people who will be there when the poop hits the fan.  I don’t know what I would have done without my support system.

Have your friends and family helped you in times of trouble?  Have they kept you going when you thought you would lose it?   How so?  Please share your comments and stories below!